Military Families
I've never hated a place more in my life.
We just moved on base, and all I can say is that I hate it. So much. We are struggling more then ever. Our bank account gets over drafted. I just want to move out of here and go back to an apartment. We were perfectly fine there. But my husband was convinced that it would be the best thing in the world. And some guy in our neighborhood decided to get explosives delivered to his house so they told everyone to leave their houses. This never happened while we were living off base. I'm always so mad or sad cause the way things our now. I'm hoping things get better cause I can't have this. Anyone else hate living on base for the ones that do?
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Re: I've never hated a place more in my life.
We lived on base for the first 2.5 years of our marriage, and I hated every single second of it. Dh deployed, and when we came back, we decided living in town was the way to go. 6.5 years later, and we decided we will never live on base again. I wholeheartedly prefer living in town.
Talk to your dh. Be honest with him, and compromise. He shouldn't be the only one making this decision. It should be a joint decision. If he is not listening to your input, then that's something you two need to fix.
I would recommend sitting down and taking a look at your finances. Living on base is not an excuse to over draft your account. Set a budget and stick to it. There are financial advising service available to you if you need additional information. If you're unhappy on base, I think getting your finances in order is even more important. You're clearly stressed out. You don't need to be worrying about money on top of it. Good luck and hang in there.
Why are you so broke on base? You still get your husband's base pay in full. Do you have a lot of debt or high car payments or something? For us, living on base has always been cheaper than renting in town.
We've done it every way possible. We've rented in town, we've owned (two homes), and we've lived on base. For us, the cost is usually lower to live on base because the neighborhoods we like are expensive and utilities are high.
I can honestly say I've never been miserable. We always make the most of things. We are currently living on a military base because my husband is attending a one year school and it is so temporary that we didn't want to deal with a lease. We love it! Our neighbors are great, DH can walk to school, and we personally feel like the convenience of no rent/utilities is great.
Married 6/28/03
Kate ~ 7/3/09 *** Connor ~ 11/11/10
4 miscarriages: 2007, 2009, 2013, 2014
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No more TTC for us. We are done, and at peace, as a family of 4.
"Suffering has been stronger than all other teaching, and has taught me to understand what your heart used to be. I have been bent and broken, but – I hope – into a better shape.” — Charles Dickens
I would highly suggest you going to ACS (or whatever community service is called in your branch) and speaking with someone about your finances. BAH isn't meant for anything but rent/mortgage, utilities, etc... If you find a place lower than your BAH and you pocket the leftover, that's great, but your shouldn't ever rely on it for your other expenses. What if you were to PCSnd your BAH for the new region was much lower? I think you should speak to someone and make some tough decisions about how you are spending your money.
Also, the poor attitude will only hurt you in the long run. Yes, moving on post is an adjustment. However, you're not always going to love where you live. I've lived in many places over the years; some good, some bad. I've always tried to find something that I really liked, something that was special about the place I was in at the time. Our house right now is basic and small, but I have a large fenced in backyard and a small garden! Try to make it more like "home;" plant flowers, paint a room (with approval, of course), hang some pictures. You just have to stop looking at the situation with a negative eye. It's difficult to change your mindset, but it can be done.
"losing" that BAH can make a BIG difference depending on where your stationed. This is why we never lived on base. I feel your pain OP. For us it was always cheaper to live off base, our rent/utilities were cheaper than BAH so we had the leftover for other bills.
I think you and your DH should have a sit down, crunch some numbers together, and talk about the pros-cons of both living situations and really figure out whats the best living situation for your family.
In the meantime if your stuck on base try to make the best of it. There are perks to living on base if you choose to utilize them.
All of this. I'm also confused why you're broke living on base? We've also lived every which way in the military and, by far, our favorite is on base. It's an easy commute for DH (we save a ton in gas) and it's easy and fun for the kids and me. I also feel much safer living on base when DH is gone. Not to mention the convenience of having maintenance at my door if something goes wrong. We've been homeowners and tenants and again, base housing has been the easiest to deal with when issues may come up. The military life style is all about making the most of where you currently are and not looking back to where the grass was greener. Good luck!
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Honestly, everything in life is what you make it. There has to be something positive you can see in it. Are you sure your feelings aren't just from resent?
Here, it wouldn't be worth it for us to live on post. We can get far more house for the BAH off post than on. There are a lot of factors you have to weigh to decide if it's worth it.
Thats great it worked well for PPs, OP that doesnt mean it works well for everyone. Don't feel bad that it might not be whats best for your family
I would agree that on-post living may not work for everyone, but the fact remains that this is where they are now and she needs to make the best of her current situation, otherwise life will be miserable for both of them. Not only that, but counting on BAH for your expenses past what it's meant for is dangerous and can cause serious financial hardship.
unless I mis-read it doesn't sound like living on base is their only option....I disagree that using left over BAH for other bills is dangerous. Worked just fine for us and most people we know. Of course sometimes you don't have a choice to live off base or in some areas its not as financially friendly to live off base in which case you just have to deal and do some budgeting, but in her case it sounds like it is indeed better for them financially to live off base if they so choose.
Some of the posts just sounded like they were trying to make her feel bad that for feeling that living on base isn't the best option for them. Thats great it worked so well for PPs but its not always the best option, it varies by the family as much as it does by duty.
Exactly.
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Thank you!! I don't feel bad for hating it. What we aren't able to pay are the bills. It's not like I'm complaining cause I can't get myself stuff. I'm more worried about getting my daughter her things. And I do try to make the best of it. But really, I just don't like it. And yeah it is more financially friendly to live off base. I'm hoping that once this lease is close to being up, supposed to stay here for at least 9 months, I can talk my husband to going back off base. Seems like he's starting not to like it also. Oh well, we'll see how it goes!!! Glad at least one person knows how I'm feeling!!