Dear God and it's only Wednesday

CFjo2010 · May 2013

I feel like pulling my hair out. The crap with BM is in full force this week and it?s only Wednesday.

Remember my previous post that BM was actually keeping her position with PTA despite me being elected as President? Yeah, scratch that. She officially resigned with zero notice on Friday. Fine, at least now I don?t have to tip toe anymore. But really? She was asked repeatedly a couple months ago about her intentions and she said she was staying. Why now? So we post her job opening yesterday and got it filled, and now she?s mad that we filled her position so quickly. WTH? She?s complaining to everyone that I ?forced? her out and made "PTA unbearable"(um, I haven't even presided over a meeting yet), and now the few friends she had are pulling away from her and now only wanting to do play dates when K is with us. Way to piss everyone off and burn even more bridges for your daughter, BM.

Yesterday BM was 45 minutes late dropping off K because she ?lost? her car at Disneyland. Seriously? How do you forget where you parked? And how do you not leave early enough to make sure you drop her off on time? When she shows up, she doesn't bother apologizing for being so late, but is real clear that K is to not be dropped off late. Screw you lady, you drop her off 45 minutes late, we get to hang out with her 45 minutes later. Try planning your day a little better and then we won?t have these issues.

But the real kicker was this morning. I?m in the office doing PTA stuff and K comes in 15 minutes late for school again. She asked me to walk her to class so I did. As we?re walking she tells me, ?Mommy is going to try and keep me with her this weekend. She said she thinks my ear hurts and that it's not a good idea for my friends to come over?. Hhhmmmm, could this be because we set up a fun pajama/froyo/movie night for K on Friday night with some of her friends? And how can BM tell K that she thinks K?s ear hurts? Total crap. Sure enough, about half an hour ago I get a text from my husband saying that BM text him about K?s ear. Also, she started pitching a fit because K hasn't been to the dentist in a year. In our State, dental insurance and dental expenses are not mandated by the CS Order. We just set up the dental insurance through my husband?s employer, but it doesn't take effect until June 1st. DH tells BM this and she?s demanding that K goes right frigging now. Oh, and she?s setting up an appointment for K to go the Dr for her ear on Friday when K is with us. Are you kidding me?

BM does this all the time. She exaggerates some issue with K to keep her out of school, but then sets up the appointment (that according to her, K desperately needs) when K is with us to avoid paying the co-pay. I have no problem with K going to the Dr when she needs to go and am more than happy to take her. But BM refuses to actually take her and will make K wait days before going in. The whole pink eye situation ringing a bell? And she wants K to go to the dentist right now, but claims she doesn?t have the money to pay for it. Look, if you can afford Disneyland passes, concert tickets, and have $1,000 to blow on a tattoo, then you can pay your share of taking care of your daughter. She?s a kid, not your meal ticket BM. I?m getting beyond frustrated with BM not doing her share. I really want to say to her, ?Get your life together and grow up. Be a positive role model for your child and stop playing the victim. No one?s buying your bs anymore?.

Vent over. Where's my damn cocktail?

HisChamaoleGirl · May 2013

Just reading the nonsense you are dealing with makes me want to drink too! Good luck and stay strong.

kimmygirl77 · May 2013

*HiS ChAmAoLe GiRL*:
Just reading the nonsense you are dealing with makes me want to drink too! Good luck and stay strong.

Yes!!!! Martini for me too!!! Here is to you JO! Hang in there!

Lavender P · May 2013

Oh good lord. That is ridiculous. Can she keep K from going to your house for her fake ear infection? It is so sad that she would want to prevent her child from having a good time. I understand that as a BM it would be irritating if BD was always trying to just be the fun parent, but you guys clearly share all responsibilities, if not more, then she does. Even if that was the case, which it isnt, what she is doing is wrong on so many levels. That poor little girl.

Pamelacake · May 2013

She sounds like a psycho b!tch! She can't keep K from you even if there was an earache involved.

BM did this to us over the weekend but it was the other way around. She convinced 6yo SD to say she was sick so she could bring her home Saturday. There was nothing wrong with SD but DH and I were fine with it bc she was home and safe. BM left our home after dropping SD off and went straight to the bar! I wish she would have ethe most important things in mind.. sounds like yours needs that too!

Go ahead and have one for me too!

ETA: SHe isn't supposed to schedule any appointments on your time anyways!! and if she had such a bad earache.. wait wait until Friday to take her!! That just makes me mad!

CFjo2010 · May 2013

Lavender P:
Oh good lord. That is ridiculous. Can she keep K from going to your house for her fake ear infection? It is so sad that she would want to prevent her child from having a good time. I understand that as a BM it would be irritating if BD was always trying to just be the fun parent, but you guys clearly share all responsibilities, if not more, then she does. Even if that was the case, which it isnt, what she is doing is wrong on so many levels. That poor little girl.

No she can't keep K from coming over. But she can and will play up this fake earache to the point where K will start saying her ear hurts. This happens A LOT.

I know I need to let this crap roll off my back but when all this nonsense happens one right after the other, it gets harder to laugh off.

Tasheystar · May 2013

I friggin hate your BM. It's always so frustrating to read what stupid sh!t she's pulling. Poor K. Like you said, she can't keep her at home on your day just because she has a fake ear ache. It really sucks that she'll eventually give in to her mom and say her ear hurts. If I were you, I'd maybe take her temp when she gets to you. If she has no fever, cancel the doctor visit.

Sunday924 · May 2013

I would cancel the doctor visit.

twister22 · May 2013

That woman is a piece of work...

Regarding the doctor visit, I would cancel it.

And for future doctor visits that actually need to happen - how is medical specified in the CO? For us BD and I are each responsible for a percentage of the after-insurance costs. To make things easier, I never pay the copay in the office, I always have it added to the bill, that way there's one bill/receipt to give to BD. Can you guys do something similar?

CFjo2010 · May 2013

twister22:
That woman is a piece of work...Regarding the doctor visit, I would cancel it.And for future doctor visits that actually need to happen how is medical specified in the CO? For us BD and I are each responsible for a percentage of the afterinsurance costs. To make things easier, I never pay the copay in the office, I always have it added to the bill, that way there's one bill/receipt to give to BD. Can you guys do something similar?

All medical is to be split 5050. My husband has it set up so that they cannot bill us the copay unless it's an ERIC visit. BM used to take K to the Dr for every tiny little sniffle and then have them bill us the copay for the appt, xrays, etc. One time she convinced the Dr to rent her a breathing machine for K and we got the 500 bill. Then when we would give BM the bill for her half, she wouldn't pay it and it would go to collections in my husband's name.

2chatter · May 2013

That is madness. I am so sorry. What did you say to K about the ear thing? She is old enough to know if her ear does or does not hurt. You guys might have to start walking the fine line with open questions to get K to think through things - she might be getting confused by a lack of clarification from the grown ups she can count on when BM insists that things are a certain way. I know it sometimes feels like PA here to tell the skids they don't need to go to the doctor if they sneezed three times, have no congestion or fever but BM is freaking out. We are super careful not to say a word about BM but ask questions like "so, how are you feeling?" and "if you were at home with us, and you had a friend coming over, would you feel bad enough to cancel and lay in bed for the day?". You get the idea. K might need her rational feelings validated a bit through conversation like that. Hang in there and sorry but YAY for her resigning from PTA. One small storm now, a year of not having her drama ON the board!