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Attachment Parenting
kittyh8r
member
XP: Dec 2013 Need advice. Circumcision related.
kittyh8r
member
This is a hot hopic, I know. I don't want to cause problems, I am just looking for advice from ladies who are currently researching circumcision. When I was pregnant with my daughter, I did a ton of research (before we found out it was a girl, of course) on circumcision. In my mind and heart, I don't feel like it is something that I could put a future son through. When I try to talk about it with DH, he says he wants to wait and research it himself before we have a conversation about it. I understand this, because I am much more informed on the topic than he is, so I am giving him his space to research it himself. The problem is, he doesn't have time to research it. If I find articles, or websites about it, they're typically biased. I was wondering if anyone knew of an article(or more) that isn't biased on this topic?
Another issue I have, is if he decides that it's still something that he wants to do for our future son, what am I going to do?! haha I am nervous that it's going to be something he feels strong about. I feel very strong about NOT circ'ing. I don't hate on anyone who does it, it's just that I know I won't be able to send my newborn son to an operating room to be circ'd. I just can't. So my other question is, Is there anyone who has a son, who went through the same thing with their SO? You both had different opinions on the topic, and you obviously had to make a choice...so what did you do?! help!!
I don't want to be controlling, and say "this is what is going to happen no matter what", but I don't want to just roll over on this, either.
Also, I am going to be really busy within the hour and I may not make it back to this post today. But if anyone responds, I promise I am not ignoring the responses, I will be back.
TIA. !!
BFP #1 July 4, 2011 Baby girl born Feb 22, 2012!!
BFP #2 December 17, 2012 MMC January 24, 2013
BFP #3 April 7, 2013 Baby girl born December 11, 2013!!
Amelia has Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome. She has had 3 open heart surgeries, 1 g-tube surgery, and one tracheostomy. She is the strongest, most precious little fighter.
You can follow her at. Www.ameliafaithsheart.blogspot.com
This discussion has been closed.
Re: XP: Dec 2013 Need advice. Circumcision related.
I see you are 10 weeks along. Do you know for sure that you are having a boy yet? I would probably leave the issue alone until you are sure you even need to make this decision. No use stirring things up unnecessarily.
ETA: Unless you are team green. Then I get talking about it now.
I'm not sure if you mean the articles you've found are biased for or against circumcision, but whenever I'm researching something medical-related for my child, I tend to start with AAP. Obviously, circumcision is a personal decision, but here, at least, is their position on it:
https://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/prenatal/decisions-to-make/Pages/Where-We-Stand-Circumcision.aspx.
https://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/prenatal/decisions-to-make/pages/Should-the-Baby-be-Circumcised.aspx
ETA: FWIW - I could not get my husband to talk about any "significant" baby related decision until much further into my pregnancy so although your husband doesn't have time to research now, he may commit more time to research it as you get further along in our pregnancy. Try not to stress yourself out about it too much right now.
We did a lot of research leading up to the birth of our son and found it to be so 50/50 that the research didn't help either of us make up our minds. I was definitely leaning against circumcision (if for not other reason than my son could always choose to do it later in life but couldn't choose to undo it), and my husband was leaning towards. But in the end I told him he could be the tie-breaker (since truly, I can understand both points of view), and he actually surprised me by saying no in the delivery room when then OB-GYN asked about circumcision. Sometimes guys just need a little space and once my husband had it I think he was no more into the idea of sending the baby away to have it done than I was.
It helped us to poll our friends who lived in the area (East Coast) to get a sense of what it would be like for our son growing up - would he be different than all his friends, or would there be a bigger percentage of non-circumcised kids than there were when we were growing up, etc.) Of course it can be a sticky topic for people, so you'd have to decide if you felt comfortable asking and getting others' opinions.
DH felt very strongly that our DSs be circumcised (DS1 is 2; DS2 is 4 weeks). I don't have a penis, so I gave him room on this topic. Here are my thoughts:
1) My pedi uses the plastibell method, which I preferred.
2) He did it at two weeks old, which I also preferred.
3) DH went with the boys and stayed with them through the whole procedure. I waited back in the exam room. When they came back, I immediately nursed them.
4) Neither of my sons cried at any time during the procedure.
Overall, this was NBD, though it doesn't feel like it that day, it all works out just fine.
BFP#1 "Watermelon" born 3/2011
BFP#2 "Pumpkin" 7/14/12 ~ EDD 3/23/13 ~ Natural M/C 8/3/12 @ 7 weeks
BFP#3 "Pineapple" born 4/2013
BFP#4 "Grapefruit" EDD 3/29/16
Like other people have said I would check the AAP, CDC and WHO for reliable sources. We were team green and once we had our DS we both decided to go on with the circumcision. DH does feel stronger about it than I do...well because I don't have a penis and have no clue what all of that is like. We had our pedi do the procedure, NOT the OB! My DH also went back with my DS and stayed the whole time with him. I stayed in the room. DH said DS never cried or even made a move. He was fine...healed fine and it never seemed to bother him. We haven't had any troubles at all and DS will be 3 in August. Like another poster said...I nursed him right after the procedure. That probably helped too.
It is a very personal decision and you have the right to pick whatever way you want. Good luck with your research!
Mom to Carter (6), and Calianne (1).
Proud VBAC, natural birth, breastfeeding, cloth diapering momma!
I left the decision up to my husband. If I were in his place I'd want the final say in that area.
But I also didn't object to circumcision. I feel the pros outweigh the cons. I was terrified of sending him "to the slaughter," but it's just as hard taking him in for shots. There are risks with everything. It was probably more likely that we'd crash and die on the way home from the hospital than it was that something would go wrong with the circ, yet I still put my son in the car and drove home.
ANYWAY, it's a personal decision and I really don't care what you plan to do, but I took a little offence at the phrase, "I don't feel this is something I could put my son through." So I thought I'd elaborate.
That being said, generally if someone wants something and someone else doesn't, it shouldn't be done. Say, if I wanted a cat and DH didn't, we shouldn't get a cat. Similarly, if you wanted your son intact and your DH didn't, your son should remain as he is. But, personally, I think you should really listen to any objections (if there are any) by your DH. You know how we women are always quoting Rachel Green, "No uterus, no opinion."? Maybe the same thing goes for penises...?
Hi there.
For me, it is a matter of hygiene and the protection it offers my partner. If you doubt ...you might find this study of interest . Male circumcision significantly reduces prevalence and load of anaerobic bacteria
We were team green last time, and this was a hot topic in our house.
Basically, the research we did came out in a wash. There are benefits and risks and I didn't feel one clearly outweighed the other. I am Jewish, so I really wanted to do it. MH felt strongly that he did not.
Luckily, we ended up with a girl, because we still hadn't compromised when we went into the hospital. I will say, though, that my own feelings changed after giving birth. If she had been a boy, she would not have been circumcised. I found that my mind and my heart were against it, too. Any future boys we have will not be circumcised. (Disclaimer: I am not against any one else making a different decision. I completely respect the rights of each family to decide for themselves.)
So, I guess I think it makes sense for YH to look into it and research on his own, but I also think it is completely valid for you to just say that you don't feel right about this and that it isn't something you are comfortable with.
I also agree that you have time and that it may not even be an issue. Best of luck to you.