Hi all! I hope this doesn't turn into too much of a ramble, but I need advice on what to do about my MIL. My husband and I have an 8 month old daughter and my MIL has been a big stressor since before DD was born.
A couple of months before DD arrived, I mentioned to MIL that the one physical feature of mine that I hope my daughter gets is my eyes (I have hazel green eyes, as does every female in my family). She responded with, "Oh really? But our blue eyes are SO much prettier." That really hurt my feelings and I was too dumbfounded by her rudeness that I couldn't respond. DD's eyes are now half blue, half yellow (as were mine at that age; they didn't turn hazel green until I was about 2) and of course, the last time MIL saw her she said, "Oh good, they'll stay blue."
Probably the biggest problem that I have with my MIL though is her insistence that my daughter looks nothing like me and that her personality is also all her dad's. While I admit that DD looks more like DH for now, she is by no means a spitting image of him. The rest of his family, all of my family, and complete strangers have remarked that she is a good mix of the two of us. If I try to point out anything that DD shares with me (my ears, my mouth, my "sense of adventure"/i.e. recklessness), she shoots it down and says something along the lines of, "Oh no, my daughter has those ears" or my DH (her son) "did that all the time and more."
It's like she can't stand the thought that her granddaughter is half me and it really hurts my feelings. I guess I'm just wondering what I should do. Should I continue to ignore it and just give up and let her keep offending me, or should I politely "confront" her and let her know that she's really pushing me away? BTW, DH is not close with his family at all, so he's just opted to lay low on the matter. He did, however, pull her aside the last time we visited because she was going on and on about how DD looks "just like him (DH)." He told her to please stop bringing it up constantly and that I'm a bit sensitive about it. She responded with, "Well, she just needs to face the facts."
I touch base with her every now and then to keep her in the loop, but I'm really starting to lose the motivation to reach out when every time I do, it's just ends up being another comparison as to how "exactly alike" DD and DH are. Advice?