Birthday party invitation — The Bump
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Birthday party invitation

This is for a birthday, usually on an invitation if I want the person or couple to come with their kids, I put 'and family'. One of our invitees is known for showing up with multiple extended family members, even if she is the only one invited. I was going to individually name everyone in the household on her invitation, because writing 'and family' could result in her showing up with siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. and their significant others, but I'm worried it could happen anyway even if we name the individuals we are inviting, and we are hoping to keep the party small. Wwyd? Go ahead with naming individuals? Have an awkward conversation with her beforehand? Wait and see what happens? As far as rsvping, her track record isn't so great. The last time we invited her to something, she rsvped for herself, and then showed up with 4 extra people. We commented that we thought just she was coming, but she didn't seem like she thought it was a problem, and we didnt want to be rude. And when she rsvped to someone else I know, she rsvped for 3 people and showed up with 11. We do really want her and her 2 kids to come, just without extra people who we dont know or don't know well.

Re: Birthday party invitation

  • Is this someone you have to invite ?

    I really don't know what to say and that is a tough position to be in.  I guess you could call her up and say " We want to let you know that you, person #1 and person #2 are invited to our party."  But I suppose you have to be prepared for others showing up too.

    FWIW, my mom is like this.  She will be formally invited to a party and tell me that I am invited too even if I never got an invitation.  I have tried arguing with her and tell her I am not invited, but she doesn't get it. 

  • Is this a birthday party where you NEED to know the exact number of guests, as in you are paying per person? If so I would call and tell her your party is coming up, and that you specifically want her and her kids to be there, and that you need an exact number.

    If it is more like a backyard BBQ I would still ask for her to RSVP, but I wouldn't stress over it as much.
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  • I'd call her and just say "hey- look for an invitation to X's party.  Just wanted to mention, though, that we need to keep the party small so we can only invite you and your kids.  Thanks for understanding!".

    I mean, WTF on bringing 11 people????  someone who does this isn't clued into basic social etiquette.  You're going to need to be upfront with her. 

    Either that, or stop inviting her. 

    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

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  • Seriously? 11 people, wow. Not sure how she sees that as appropriate in the least bit. I'd probably confront her if she says she's coming and plain out tell her she can only bring so and so and anyone else will be asked to leave. 

  • jencnhjencnh member
    She doesn't sound like she'd get the hint by putting the names on the invitation. I would do this anyways and when she RSVP's, let her know that due to space/cost restrictions, you need to keep it small and can't accommodate more than her and her children.
  • amaiteamaite member
    She identifies as West Indian. We don't HAVE to invite her, but want to. It's a backyard barbecue, so not as big a deal as a pay per plate type of thing, but if I'm not inviting my aunts to keep it small, then I don't want her bringing hers. I know that wouldn't go over well with some other family members.

    Thanks for all the advice ladies. I think I will make it clear on the phone that it's limited to the 3.
  • I just wouldn't invite her. She and her entourage are being rude, not you. It was good that you said something, but you didn't need to worry about being rude. She should have gotten the message, but since she didn't, maybe she will if she's not invited.

    As for listing her specific family members, it doesn't sound like it will matter. She will probably just think that those are the required guests and start working on her list of adjuncts.

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