Baby Showers
Mom38673
member
2nd Pregnancy Baby Shower?
Mom38673
member
in Baby Showers
I see these post of individuals stating that a second shower is grabby and tacky. I do understand and agree in most of the situations; however, my first child is a girl will be almost 9. This baby is a boy. Needless to say, I no longer have anything for babies! I have several friends wanting to give a shower. I registered for "supplies" for the most part. I plan to purchase the equipment to avoid seeming "grabby".
Do you guys think a second shower is an ok thing to do?
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Re: 2nd Pregnancy Baby Shower?
If it is normal in your group and someone offered then go for it.
It is gift grabby to throw your own or ask someone to throw you a shower.
This.
"Needless to say, I no longer have anything for babies"
This is what makes you seem grabby. It is no one's responsibility to provide for your child other than you and the father of the child, regardless of whether or not you have anything for babies or not.
That being said, if people are offering to throw you a shower, feel free to accept, but make sure it is kept small and that you don't do a registry (or if you do, don't tell people you did one).
I am fine with very low key second showers. I find a shared registry pretty greedy. I attended 2 second showers this past month and one had 14 people and one had 5 guests. No registry info at all.
If you are asking for personal opinion, I have to say second showers are in poor taste-- despite how many years in between or sex of the child.
Now if your friends have offered, and you would like to accept, I would take that to mean that second showers might be more of a norm in your social circle.
I would maybe hide your registry though-- if you are planning on buying the big things anyway you will most likely get clothes, toys, bibs, diapers and toiletry items as gifts (which is what I assume is what you mean by "supplies")
Also, I would try to keep the guest list small.
BFP 1- EDD 2/09/11 Missed MC DX @11 weeks D&C- 7/25/10 BFP 2- EDD 12/22/11 Natural MC @ 5w 2d BFP 3- EDD 1/25/12 DD Josephine born 1/16/12
This.
I think second showers are fine as long as they are kept small and only your closest friends and family are invited ( people that probably would have gotten you something anyways).
However, if the point of all this is to get gifts, then you need to lower your expectations. All the second showers I have been to, the gifts are on the smaller, inexpensive side like clothes, blankets, books etc. So if you were hoping someone was going to buy you a new high chair or a pack n play, then maybe you should decline.
I really didn't over think/analyze the post. I was merely trying to give people a perspective of my situation. I have friends who kept everything. It wasn't meant to seem like I was asking for gifts. I apologize to those who thought different.
How can a party be about the new baby if the new baby isn't even there to celebrate? Showers are about gifts, period.
And yes, people can do what they want - and other people have the right to think that what they do is tacky.
OP, if your friends REALLY want to throw you a shower, by all means go for it. Keep the guest list small, and don't publicize the registry.
This group of friends were not around when my first was born. You are absolutely right about the invites. It will be small, and I only registered for the random small stuff one may need. I do plan to take care of the majority of the purchases for this baby. Thanks for the post.
NO. I do NOT want a party for the gifts. Don't assume the worst! Again, My statement of not having any baby items was a comment. The age gap was to explain MY situation. My friends want to do a shower.
I understand your comment, and I agree. I just wanted others to know that I'm not wanting the shower for the "gifts". I appreciate my friend's gesture of a party, and I'm not involved in the planning or throwing of the shower. This was what I was intending to convey. I never expected a shower for this baby. I wanted others to know more about my situation for one, and two was asking what others thought about secondary showers.
If second showers are the norm in your circle then I think it's fine. But because you are asking it leads me to believe that it is not the norm, in which case I would be declining. I personally find second showers tacky, but that's just me and the way my circle does it.
I remember being on The Knot when I was engaged and people talking about how tacky a large gap is between the ceremony and reception. In my group it is unusual not to have a sizeable gap, so I shrugged my shoulders and did it anyway because that's the way we do it. I guess it's all about what is the norm.
Good thoughts. Yes, I've been to more and more showers for 2nd and 3rd babies/pregnancies. I just wanted to know others thoughts on the subject.
Agree with all of the above.
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
If someone wants to throw you a shower and you're not opposed - then go for it. Send out the invites and include the special letters "RSVP." Those letters let people know that they don't have to go if they don't want to or have some kind of moral stance on the matter.
It might be a cute theme to make it a secondhand party, since it's your second kiddo - unless that grosses you out.
Baby 2: EDD: 8/06/14 CP: 11/13
To the OP!
First off, you don't need to apologize to any of these women for what you posted. My God, you did nothing wrong and owe nobody an apology.
Second, It's your life, your family, your friends. If they want to throw a shower for you, then enjoy it.
Honestly, some of these "rules" I have read about baby showers on here seem to make things complicated and stressful. A baby shower should be for laughs, gifts from loved ones, celebration and company. Not "omg, did I break a rule"
Good luck!
Girl 1: I am so not friends with Becky anymore!
girl 2: Why not?
Girl 1: Because she had a 2nd pregnancy baby shower. I am so offended!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Henry Cavill...You're welcome!
BFP #3: EDD 1/10/13 **DS born 12/30/12!!!**
BFP #2: MC 7/2/11 @ 12 weeks
**Missing our February '12 LoveBug**
BFP #1: MMC discovered on 12/6/10
Just because someone offers doesn't mean you HAVE to accept. Personally, I wouldn't. Even if it was JUST my friends who were totally cool with it and really small. Because my family would be mortified. My mom lives 5 hours away, so even if it was seriously only 5 friends and she wasn't invited, so would find out, and be mortified. My family just. doesn't. do it. Even if I had a good time at the shower/sprinkle and my friends did too, part of me would be embarrassed because I was raised to know that second showers are not a thing.
But if you're cool with it, you're cool with it. I will say that, given how small a second shower should be, and how excited your friends sound, they will likely give you gifts anyway when the baby is born without technically breachingetiquette. And you could all go to brunch when the baby is a few weeks old.
40/112
You are right I'm sure people were inconvenienced and I'm sure some people did see it as rude. I know we had a handful of people not come to the ceremony, so it probably was for that reason although it was also a full mass which may have deterred some people as well.
Social circles do encompass many groups of people from varying background and experiences, so perhaps my logic is flawed. Not a note of snark here, but I think you have a point.
For the record, I actually like gaps and as do a lot of our friends and family. Typically women wear two dresses one for the ceremony one for the reception. People get together at bars or hang out at someone's house We also tend to get hotel rooms even if we are local, so people might hang out at the pool in between. It turns it into a full day of festivities where you can catch up with people you haven't seen in some time. So to address you statement, 'Gaps are rude" as a blanket statement that simply isn't true.
sorry but i never heard of a 2nd baby shower being tacky. ive been to a lot of 2nd time baby showers. if someone wants to through you a baby shower for your 2nd pregnancy just go ahead with it.
seriously, i wouldnt listen to whats tacky and not tacky. people are having co-ed showers, showers where they request not to rap your gift because they are going green, diaper raffles, showers where they dont open your gifts, calling a 2nd shower a sprinkle which i think is stupid, just called it a damn shower. lol some people will say these type of showers are tacky but who cares what other people think. i would say these people are tacky. lol
The fact that you are registering at all says to me that you want gifts. Honestly, if I got an invitation for a shower for a second baby, I would think the mom was incredibly tacky and would make up an excuse not to go.
Totally agree with this one. For crying out loud, it's not 1954 when women clutched their pearls at every breach in ettiquette. A friend of mine is having a 3rd baby and if she has a shower I'll enthusiastically attend and buy a gift. And if no one else offers to throw her a shower, I'll do it myself!
No, it's not the friends' or family's "responsibility" to outfit her entire nursery. We all know that. But what's so wrong with being open and honest about your needs, particularly if your loved ones are happy to help you out?
OP, say "yes" and just enjoy it. I'd be hurt if my friend rejected my offer to hold a shower for her.
I'd also be hurt if I knew that she turned it down b/c she thought it/I was tacky. God knows I wouldn't be offering to throw a shower b/c I want to "gift-grab" for her. I'd be throwing it, b/c I want to celebrate!