Do you always feel satisfied as a SAHM

dragossoul84 · May 2013

I love my family so much but lately I have felt lacking. We moved to a new state about 9 months ago and I dont have any friends here I see three people (DH, MIL, and FIL) and I spend the days with DS. I used to love having our house clean and cooking everything seems like a mountain now. DH works in DC so he is gone from 6am to 6pm. I dont know I just feel like like nothing is done my house is never clean I am never caught all the way up on the work. When I worked I was a top earner a go to person but now that we've moved I cannot work at my company and daycare would cost what I would make almost so working really isnt an option. I'm really thankful we can do well on one income and I can be home with DS. I just feel kind of useless. Maybe its just the day perhaps I'll feel different tomorrow just wondering if I am alone or not.

kcisthebombdotcom · May 2013

Sah is like any other "job" in the sense it has its ups and downs. If you're feeling like you're in a funk, maybe it's time to switch things up. Join a new class or moms group. I find getting out of the house more makes it easier to keep organized.

Tally06 · May 2013

KC_13:
Sah is like any other "job" in the sense it has its ups and downs. If you're feeling like you're in a funk, maybe it's time to switch things up. Join a new class or moms group. I find getting out of the house more makes it easier to keep organized.

This is exactly how I feel.

Socialworkgirl · May 2013

Can you find a mom's group to get involved with? You could look on meetup.com. Is there something else you can get involved with that would help you feel fulfilled? I joined that social justice committee at our church which is right up my alley and related to my career and that has really helped give me just enough intellectual stimulation to fulfill that need. My DD is around the age of your LO and another thing that has helped me is finding little activities on blogs and stuff we can do together. We also like going to story time at the library

I definitely have days though where I feel like staying at home is a little monotonous but then there will be days that I absolutely know this is what I want to be doing fit now.

Socialworkgirl · May 2013

Oh also, I also can never manage to get everything done that I want to around the house. I am learning to manage my own expectations about what I can accomplish and doing a better job of prioritizing.

EnglishMajor03 · May 2013

Sounds like you're in the middle of a big transition. Moving and having a house that isn't quite the way you want can make you feel unsettled. It'll come together. Maybe join a gym so you can leave your LO in the daycare for an hour while you focus on yourself. Join a mom's group, if you're the type.

I remember transitioning to SAH was very tough for me on the work-front. I had a hard time leaving that type of tangible accomplishment behind.

blushingbride_08 · May 2013

I feel the same way. I have a list of to dos around the house. I'm also going to make a list of to dos for me. Like take a fun class ( I love dancing), learn another language, do a mini make over (new hair style, update wardrobe). I'm trying to do one thing from each list per day. It's the little things that make me feel good and productive that I've been neglecting. Start a moms group on meetup.com. I'm sure there are moms in your area feeling the same way. Go to the local library children's area for story time. Go to the playground. Go where kids are and make friends with the moms. Volunteer at a local nonprofit org. I do this mainly for adult interaction and like I'm not giving up on my career. GL!

jensriot · May 2013

KC_13:
Sah is like any other "job" in the sense it has its ups and downs. If you're feeling like you're in a funk, maybe it's time to switch things up. Join a new class or moms group. I find getting out of the house more makes it easier to keep organized.

This. I've had days when I feel I can never catch up. I had those at work too. Start small, get one room completely done. I always feel more motivated when I have had a little success. Beyond catching up around the house, getting out may give you a boost. Is your LO in any classes? Maybe you can find a kid friendly group on meetup. I enjoy knitting and crochet and found a group of ladies that meet once a week. The kids play, we talk and work on projects. I was a big wallflower before I stayed home. I've really had to come out of my shell, but it's been awesome. I haven't made any lifelong BFFs yet, but have variety in my days.

dragossoul84 · May 2013

I'm trying to find stuff in walking distance since we only have one car I havent had much luck there is a small park close to my house but when I go it's empty. We've had a lot going on maybe since I'm alone most of the day its starting to sink in we sold our house, moved then we rented an apartment, then we bought a house moved again renovated every three months my husband has to go in for blood work to find out if he needs a bone marrow transplant yet. I'm sorry for complaining I should be so thankful. I'm just lonesome and tired.

catycate · May 2013

I do 90% of the time. We get out A LOT, though, and I feel pretty good about the experiences and opportunities I can offer DS. I think that helps. I would probably not feel as satisfied if we weren't out and about, so maybe you should try that?

kcisthebombdotcom · May 2013

dragossoul84:
I'm trying to find stuff in walking distance since we only have one car I havent had much luck there is a small park close to my house but when I go it's empty. We've had a lot going on maybe since I'm alone most of the day its starting to sink in we sold our house, moved then we rented an apartment, then we bought a house moved again renovated every three months my husband has to go in for blood work to find out if he needs a bone marrow transplant yet. I'm sorry for complaining I should be so thankful. I'm just lonesome and tired.

thats a whole lot in a short period-no wonder you feel so beat. Could you drive dh to work/pick him up a few days a week so you have a car? If not, is your city/town bike friendly? You could always get a trailer for ds and cycle places.

MrsKipper · May 2013

I just try to get out of the house when I can and get together with friends when I can. It doesn't happen all the time...maybe once every week or two weeks. When I'm around the house I try to tackle all those things I never had time to do when I was working. That helps me feel very productive. When she is awake I just try to focus on letting her play and explore!

dragossoul84 · May 2013

KC_13:
dragossoul84:
I'm trying to find stuff in walking distance since we only have one car I havent had much luck there is a small park close to my house but when I go it's empty. We've had a lot going on maybe since I'm alone most of the day its starting to sink in we sold our house, moved then we rented an apartment, then we bought a house moved again renovated every three months my husband has to go in for blood work to find out if he needs a bone marrow transplant yet. I'm sorry for complaining I should be so thankful. I'm just lonesome and tired.
thats a whole lot in a short period-no wonder you feel so beat. Could you drive dh to work/pick him up a few days a week so you have a car? If not, is your city/town bike friendly? You could always get a trailer for ds and cycle places.

The cycle and trailer is an idea I could look into. Taking DH to work isnt an option he commutes 2 hours one way so I would be doing 8 hours in the car to drop him off.

Socialworkgirl · May 2013

dragossoul84:
I'm trying to find stuff in walking distance since we only have one car I havent had much luck there is a small park close to my house but when I go it's empty. We've had a lot going on maybe since I'm alone most of the day its starting to sink in we sold our house, moved then we rented an apartment, then we bought a house moved again renovated every three months my husband has to go in for blood work to find out if he needs a bone marrow transplant yet. I'm sorry for complaining I should be so thankful. I'm just lonesome and tired.

you have a ton going on. You have every right to feel the way you do. The playground by our house is always empty too. It drives me crazy! I know there are other moms in our neighborhood that stay home with their kids!

I am not sure how much I have seen you on here, but I have found this forum to help alot with feeling connected to a group of people. I lurk more than I post but even that helps. Also, what about an online book club? I believe goodreads has alot of them.

Hang in there!

freezorburn · May 2013

I'm in a similar situation, having moved to another country when DS was 4 months old. I didn't want to stop working but due to circumstances that's what happened. I've focused on meeting other moms with young children, signing up for classes with DS, and now that he is beginning to wean, I just hired a nanny to help out with him 2 afternoons a week so that I can have some time for chores, errands and myself. Hopefully I will also be able to carve out time to really research daycare options and start a job search.

Even if you were to break even on daycare costs, it might be worth it in the long run to go back to work, even if only part time. For one thing, if it's what you need to do in order stay sane, that's a benefit. Also, the longer you are out of the work force the harder it is to get back in, and my understanding is that wage earning potential also drops. In the grand scheme of things, you only need to foot the cost of daycare for a few years, but whether or not you go back to work sooner rather than later could affect your long-term earning potential.

nosoup4u · May 2013

dragossoul84:
I cannot work at my company and daycare would cost what I would make almost so working really isnt an option. I'm really thankful we can do well on one income and I can be home with DS. I just feel kind of useless. Maybe its just the day perhaps I'll feel different tomorrow just wondering if I am alone or not.

We spend the same amount I make on a babysitter for our kids. The fantastic thing about that is that in reality, DH pays for childcare, too, it's not all on me.

Get a job, it sounds like you guys can make do paying for childcare. Overall, I am happier working outside the house than I was SAH full-time.

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