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Stay at Home Moms
Mrs.Hizzo
member
S/O grandparent poll
Mrs.Hizzo
member
How would you try to keep a grandparent "alive" to your kids? It kills me that my boys will likely start to forget my dad. They're 4 and 6, so they'll probably always have some memories of him, but I know they will get hazy as time goes on. I really want them to know what a great man he is, and how much he loves them, even after he's gone. I don't want him to be "that grandpa I never knew."
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Re: S/O grandparent poll
I sort of answered this in your other grandparent poll, but in this time, take as many pictures with all of you as you can. Keep the pictures out and talk about him. Tell funny stories of things he used to do. Think of advice he'd give and pass it on to your kids. Find ways to bring him up often in fun and light-hearted ways. Continue any traditions he might have had. Tell them often how much he loved them. If you believe in Heaven you could talk about that aspect too.
I think pictures are priceless.
Best of luck as you go through this difficult time. I'm so sorry.
What a horrible thing for you to have had to go through. I'm so sorry.
I guess this really is more about me. My dad has been very special to me my whole life, and I just hate that he might not mean anything to my kids. I had a grandma who died before I was born, and when someone suggested that I name a child after her, I thought "Why would I do that??? I didn't even know her!" I just hate that my kids will feel that way about my dad someday.
I was 1 when my mom's parents both passed and I feel like I know them. My whole life I've seen their pictures and heard stories about them.
In fact, this weekend I was at my mom's for a bbq and she put potato salad out on the table and my first thought was my mom always saying as she put things out in plastic containers that her mother would kill her for not putting it in a nice bowl. I said that and she laughed and said she was just thinking about her mom saying that when she told me to bring it out in the container.
At my wedding my mother-daughter dance (my father wasn't invited) was to "Wonderful World" because it was her father's favorite song and I think of him every time I hear it.
Even though I was a baby when they passed I still feel like I knew them. They aren't strangers to me.
Your sons will have memories of their grandfather and will see pictures and hear stories and anecdotes about him their entire lives. He won't be a stranger to them even after he passes.
Ha! My dad adores lefse! I made a lefse/smoked salmon appetizer just for him last Thanksgiving. He's very into Norwegian heritage. The other thing I've done for years is to make him oyster stew on Christmas Eve. Not sure if that's Norwegian (his mother was German) but he had it every Christmas eve growing up, and the whole time I was a kid he was always trying to make his own that night. It was always horrible, he's a terrible cook (and my mother thinks it's nasty, so she never offered). So a few years back I started making "real" oyster stew for him, with raw oysters instead of canned, and way too much cream and butter. I've already thought that I'll keep doing that, even though only a handful of my family likes oysters. Even if only DH and I and one sister eat it, it will make me feel like he's still there with us, in a way, and I can tell the kids why I'm making it.
TY. Responded.
This, exactly. DH lost his dad when DH was 25. I never got to meet him, and obviously he wasn't at our wedding. DH's mom dealt with it in her own way- by putting away all of his stuff, putting away all of his pictures, and never talking about him. The only reminder is his wedding ring on a chain around her neck. So DH actually doesn't have many photos of his dad. We plan on doing the opposite of DH's mom for DS. We've displayed the few pics DH does have of his dad, and DH often reminisces to me, so as soon as DS understands, he'll get to hear cool stories about him too. DH also does have a hat his dad used to wear, and we let DS play with DH's father's old police badge, and tell him that was Grandpa's.
Another one.
Keep putting your dad in context. So, with my mom, if we were at the garden picking flowers, I'd say- oh Jo-Jo loved those pink flowers. The other day Parker had a scallion and I told her that Jo-Jo would serve those with salt when we were kids. It's cathartic for me and I think it keeps her relevant to the kids.
My grandfather died when I was one so I didn't know him. But, my cousins had made up this photo book of him and I leafed through that thing every time I was at my grandmother's house.
Think of the special things that he does or likes. My Mom made the best apple pie. So someone always makes Grandma X's pie for holidays. The first time my niece was old enough to do it I cried for an hour. Their parents also chose something for them after she was gone. The candy bowls that always held something special for them. Bracelets for the girls.
My son will never know any of our parents. But when my husband's mother died we saved two jewelry boxes with costume jewelry in case we ever had a daughter. Our son found it recently and screamed "treasure" and looked at every piece. So he'll have that. And he'll always make the pie with me. And I'll tell him how my Dad used to take me kite flying.
I'm sorry about your Dad. It's really, really difficult.