I would start researching your state and see what is usually done in a situation like yours. Talk to your ex if that's an option for you and see what he is wanting. It is always better to try and compromise but don't let him walk all over you. The absolute best advice I can give you though is to NOT do anything without your lawyer! Wait for your appt. with your lawyer and let him know what is going on and how you want to precede. Make sure that everything is legal.
I'd let him take your son for two hours every Saturday until you're able to talk to a lawyer. He picks him up at your house and you pick your son up for him at the end of those two hours. If he's more than 15 minutes late, he doesn't get his visitation. I think two hours is a reasonable amount of time to see your kid but not enough time to get in trouble. Also, unless your kid has asthma, no judge is going to care that it's a smoking home so I wouldn't bother mentioning that part.
If you make it so that he has to pick your son up, then you don't get stuck waiting around for him. Same thing with the 15 minute wait. If you're the one who has to pick him up at the end, there's no dawdling or worrying about when he's coming back.
Make sure you set up phone visitation as well. Maybe Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Sunday between 6pm and 7:30pm.
This way, you should the court should it come down to that, that you aren't trying to take this kid away from his father, that you're willing to be reasonable, etc.
And honestly, you'd be amazed how much better of a parent some of these douchbags become when they have to do it on their own, when they aren't occupied with being diicks to their wives, or when they don't expect you to do all the heavy lifting. I'm not saying he's going to wake up tomorrow and be a damned Walton. But you know.
Re: Needing advice
https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/74348905.aspx
just to make this post easier.
BFP #1 11/07/2012 EDD 07/09/2013 M/C 11/22/2012
BFP #2 02/05/2013 EDD 09/19/2013 Arrived via c-section 09/27/2013
I'd let him take your son for two hours every Saturday until you're able to talk to a lawyer. He picks him up at your house and you pick your son up for him at the end of those two hours. If he's more than 15 minutes late, he doesn't get his visitation. I think two hours is a reasonable amount of time to see your kid but not enough time to get in trouble. Also, unless your kid has asthma, no judge is going to care that it's a smoking home so I wouldn't bother mentioning that part.
If you make it so that he has to pick your son up, then you don't get stuck waiting around for him. Same thing with the 15 minute wait. If you're the one who has to pick him up at the end, there's no dawdling or worrying about when he's coming back.
Make sure you set up phone visitation as well. Maybe Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Sunday between 6pm and 7:30pm.
This way, you should the court should it come down to that, that you aren't trying to take this kid away from his father, that you're willing to be reasonable, etc.
And honestly, you'd be amazed how much better of a parent some of these douchbags become when they have to do it on their own, when they aren't occupied with being diicks to their wives, or when they don't expect you to do all the heavy lifting. I'm not saying he's going to wake up tomorrow and be a damned Walton. But you know.
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