December 2010 Moms
theuntaggablek
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Independent play?
theuntaggablek
member
This is kind-of a follow-up to Halo's post.
For everybody & especially those of you that are mamas of 2, did you encourage your first LO to play independently before LO #2? How?
When he's not at daycare, our LO is usually one-on-one with one of us or with both- he has a playroom and toys of his own in his bedroom, but he doesn't play for more than 5-6 minutes by himself before it's "mama come" (or lately - "daddy play.") If we had a fenced yard, I'm sure he'd be happy digging and dumping dirt by himself for hours, but we don't and we live by a busy street, so we're always close to him when he's outside.I'm afraid he's in for a rude awakening when #2 comes, and I don't know what to do.
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Re: Independent play?
Mine's the same way. Even with a yard and toys and stuff out there he still wants me to play with him constantly. I've started saying "When Mama finishes ____ she'll come play with you" but I'm thinking of getting a timer and setting it for a period of time and saying when the timer goes off then Mama will come and play with you. But then I feel guilty even though I know he doesn't need me playing with him from the time he gets up until the time he goes down.
I have no advice about how it goes with a newborn since I don't have #2 yet but I think kids in general are pretty adaptable. So even though it'll probably be hard at first he is going to realize that mom and dad's attention now has to be shared with the baby, too. I'm sure some of the STMs here will have some good pointers for you!
I think I'm just lucky that I have a kid who likes to play by himself. He has forced quiet time each day. I babygate him inside his room and refuse to collect him for an hour, so I guess that has helped. He refuses to nap and I need an hour to pee and eat a snack without an audience. So, he can either play by himself or scream at the gate, whichever he chooses that day. We also have a safe yard where he can play outside by himself, usually he wants to draw with chalk on the little porch right by the open door. He also likes quiet toys that encourage pretty independent play too though, like books and puzzles and painting. I think it may just be the luck of the draw on their personality though. Caleb isn't going to be so easy I don't think. Nate was a pretty chill baby too. Caleb is clingy and high-needs.
I don't know how I lucked out, but Noah is great with independent play. Almost to the point where sometimes I wonder if he's playing too much by himself. It makes me feel guilty like I should stop what I'm doing and go play with him. But then I also think daycare is so loud and busy, that maybe he is looking forward to his "alone" time.
So I don't really have any advice for you, but I think being worried can go the opposite way too.
Pretty much this.
A will play happily by himself while I get stuff done around the house. He goes to day care 2x a week so he gets to play with others there but at home he doesn't mind playing by himself.
Good luck!!
My LO is the same way and I don't really know if there's a lot you / we can do to change things. There will just be an adjustment period where the new baby and LO both learn that they can't always have their needs met immediately.
Pretty much the only time LO is playing quietly on her own is when she's hiding in a corner pooping or when she's making mischief!
Good idea on the timer. I might try that soon, too. The sticker book is also good - he got a truck one in his easter basket & loves it, but the stickers are pretty hard to reposition. Maybe if I can find one that's a bit easier for him to use, it could work.
PGASTL - you've described my LO to a T - only time he's playing quietly alone is when he's making mischief or a mess! (digging in dirt, jumping in puddles, doing dishes (read splashing water all over the kitchen) or cooking (pulling out stuff from the pantry & putting it in pots and pans). He just wants to be in on the action at all times
He's really a sweetheart, and luckily usually naps - but he's nonstop action!
This. Griff was very clingy. Before Bishop was born I tried to get him to play by himself but he'd always look for me. I think he was just too young? or maybe thats just his personality.
After Bishop was born it was hard for Griff to play alone but he got it after a while. Sometimes hes still clingy and constantly wanting to play with me but for the most part he'll understand when I can't. Like today we were reading books and Bishop crawled around the corner so I told Griff that he had to read by himself cause I had to watch Bishop. He was like ok and kept reading. Had this been months ago, he would've had a tantrum. For Griff, its something he learned in time and from experience.
Ditto pps...I wouldn't beat yourself up about it too much; I think personality has a lot to do with it. My DS is a very independent player, although like pps, I have to watch out when he's too quiet because he can be a little too creative at finding trouble to get into.
I do seem to notice that he's a little better at quiet play when he's had plenty of exercise and activity that day or that weekend. If he's too physically wound up, I end up having to intervene more.
BFP #2 5/27/12. EDD 2/1/13. m/c and D&C 6/21/12.
I'm in a unique position with Brody's diagnosis that play is one of his struggles. He doesn't know how to play with things - he'll read books all day long, but doesn't know how to play with toys unless I'm sitting with him and teaching him how. And even then, it doesn't carry over to independent play.
Sadly, he watches more TV than we did before, especially when I'm nursing. He'll read a lot, wander around the house, play with stickers or color (with me), do puzzles (with me and alone for 2-3 minutes). He's in daycare 2x a week which is wonderful and the days he's home he has services in the morning. I try to do an errand or outting in the later morning before lunch so we're not just hanging around. We're getting our yard fenced in as soon as the fencing company can "Get us on the schedule" thank god!
My little man at 0-1-2