Don't not have an only because you feel they will be alone someday...

littlelamb99 · May 2013

So, to preface this; I have an only but am not an only.

My grandma passed away this past weekend at the ripe old age of 86. Loved that woman.

Anyways, my grandma had two sons, my dad and my uncle. Even though there are two of them, my dad is the only one that has been taking care of arrangements, etc. because my uncle is sitting in his apartment, addicted to pain medication, and is on disability. He's 62.

For those who say they don't want an only due to them being burdened by your death someday, a prime example is my dad. He has a sibling but is not comforted by him in the time of need. In fact, it is pretty likely that my uncle will not attend his own mom's funeral, which is in the same town, just like he didn't in 2004 for his father's.

Please don't feel that having one child will isolate them when their parents pass on. My dad has his wife (my mom), and my sister and myself. He is comforted by family and friends even though he has a blood sibling.

Siblings are not guarantees. I have a great life and great family and my grandma raised both of her sons the same way, but they didn't end up the same.

MrsCCParra · May 2013

I am so sorry to hear about your Grandma. Thoughts and prayers go out to your family. I know how that loss feels.

I totally agree with your post. My mom had 2 sisters when she lost her Dad and she was the only one who traveled the 3 hours to take care of him while he was sick and also when he passed she helped my Grandma with all of the arrangements. Then when her sister(at age 30) passed she felt the need to be the rock again for my Grandma and her other sister just made it all about herself. It was awful. My mom still grieves over this 10+ years later. Then when my Grandma died it was the worst yet, my mom felt like she had no body to support her because my Aunt did what she does best and turned it into an emotional circus with her being the star of the show. I know that everyone mourns differently but that is when family should come together. Especially when there are only 2 sisters left out of a family of 5.

I feel bad for my mom all the time because most of her immediate family is gone now and i'm really all that's left. Her living sister lives 5 hours away and does not make the effort to ever come to where we live to just visit.

Once again, your family is in my thoughts and prayers.

Fianschneid · May 2013

I'm sorry for your loss.

Thank you for sharing your story.

ferris0906 · May 2013

First, I'm so sorry for you loss. Even when you lose someone at a "ripe old age" death still sucks.

Second, thank you for sharing your experience and perspective, especially since it's one that simply does not get told a lot.

salt78 · May 2013

I am so sorry for your loss.

blue33 · May 2013

So Sorry for your loss. I pray that your dad remembers all of the wonderful times with your grandmother and that it helps him get through the pain of losing her.

eyenigh · May 2013

I'm very sorry for your loss. I agree with you 100%. I would think that in your father's place, at a time like this, actually having a sibling that offers no help or support would make the situation even more difficult for him, or if nothing else, very frustrating.

Mrs_Lady · May 2013

sorry to hear about your loss and yep that never went thrpugh my decision about choosing to not have another child, we have plenty of family and my son has tons of cousins around his age right now.

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Don't not have an only because you feel they will be alone someday...

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