School age after-school sports. How do you do it?

KL777 · May 2013

DS starts kindergarten this year and there is an opportunity for him to play in a soccer league. The league meets twice a week during the week (once for practice and once for a game). I already have a one weeknight commitment for myself, which often I'm exhausted going to just once a week.

If your child is in a league, how do you do it while working FT? He's been in swimming before, but that was always on a Saturday. TIA.

*sparky* · May 2013

I am assuming by the way you have worded this that your DH's hours do not allow for him to assist with this? DS plays lacrosse and soccer, and actually played both this spring so there were weeks we had something every single night. I do not recommend that but it is feasible if the seasons are short. My DH is not at all available in the evenings to reliably get DS to practice/games so I flex my time to leave work no later than 4. He gets a snack before sports and eats a late dinner, which is usually something light. He has to have his homework done before we go or we don't go. Doing homework after sports is not an option...

If you know some of the other kids try alternating with a parent so you go one night and the other parent drives the other night. Do not have high expectations for making fabulous dinners on sports nights. My dad picks DS up from school sometimes so they go straight home after school and knock out homework and he gets his downtime. Dad will get him ready too if I know I will be pressed for time. Sometimes I am only home for 15 minutes before we run out for sports.

KathrynMD · May 2013

not there yet, but I have been thinking about this too - I think we will end up flexing our time so that one of us can take DD.

My plan is to try to limit her to 2 activities/2 nights out a week max.

itsmevkb · May 2013

Sorry, I don't have a great answer for this. We looked into little league and I passed after reading that it requires two weeknight games (sometimes starting as early as 5:00pm), a weekend practice and something like 20 hours of volunteer duty (making it not so volunteer afterall). That seems like a ridiculous amount of time for 6 year-olds and there was no way I would consisently be able to make 5:00 games.

For now, we've got our two oldest in things at the YMCA on Saturdays. When and if they find something they really love and are good at, my husband who is lucky enough to have a fairly flexible schedule will see if he can work things out. I have just accepted that I most likely won't be the parent doing the majority of driving or attending of these things.

KL777 · May 2013

*sparky*:
I am assuming by the way you have worded this that your DH's hours do not allow for him to assist with this? DS plays lacrosse and soccer, and actually played both this spring so there were weeks we had something every single night. I do not recommend that but it is feasible if the seasons are short. My DH is not at all available in the evenings to reliably get DS to practice/games so I flex my time to leave work no later than 4. He gets a snack before sports and eats a late dinner, which is usually something light. He has to have his homework done before we go or we don't go. Doing homework after sports is not an option...

If you know some of the other kids try alternating with a parent so you go one night and the other parent drives the other night. Do not have high expectations for making fabulous dinners on sports nights. My dad picks DS up from school sometimes so they go straight home after school and knock out homework and he gets his downtime. Dad will get him ready too if I know I will be pressed for time. Sometimes I am only home for 15 minutes before we run out for sports.

Thanks! Yes, DH is available to assist, but it still seemed like a lot to us. You're right about being aware if the season is short or long. This is my first time so I have no reference to "long" or "short". DS's swimming lessons were for 7 weeks and to me that seemed "average". Soccer will be 8 weeks long.

KL777 · May 2013

itsmevkb:
Sorry, I don't have a great answer for this. We looked into little league and I passed after reading that it requires two weeknight games (sometimes starting as early as 5:00pm), a weekend practice and something like 20 hours of volunteer duty (making it not so volunteer afterall). That seems like a ridiculous amount of time for 6 year-olds and there was no way I would consisently be able to make 5:00 games.

For now, we've got our two oldest in things at the YMCA on Saturdays. When and if they find something they really love and are good at, my husband who is lucky enough to have a fairly flexible schedule will see if he can work things out. I have just accepted that I most likely won't be the parent doing the majority of driving or attending of these things.

Thanks!! This sounds like a very good option as well.

*sparky* · May 2013

KL777:
*sparky*:

I am assuming by the way you have worded this that your DH's hours do not allow for him to assist with this? DS plays lacrosse and soccer, and actually played both this spring so there were weeks we had something every single night. I do not recommend that but it is feasible if the seasons are short. My DH is not at all available in the evenings to reliably get DS to practice/games so I flex my time to leave work no later than 4. He gets a snack before sports and eats a late dinner, which is usually something light. He has to have his homework done before we go or we don't go. Doing homework after sports is not an option...

If you know some of the other kids try alternating with a parent so you go one night and the other parent drives the other night. Do not have high expectations for making fabulous dinners on sports nights. My dad picks DS up from school sometimes so they go straight home after school and knock out homework and he gets his downtime. Dad will get him ready too if I know I will be pressed for time. Sometimes I am only home for 15 minutes before we run out for sports.

Thanks! Yes, DH is available to assist, but it still seemed like a lot to us. You're right about being aware if the season is short or long. This is my first time so I have no reference to "long" or "short". DS's swimming lessons were for 7 weeks and to me that seemed "average". Soccer will be 8 weeks long.

IMO 8 weeks is not bad and goes by pretty quickly. Where we live, football and baseball have longer seasons and are a much bigger commitment, even at this age. If your DH is available I would alternate nights w/him and/or another parent if your DS has friends on the team.

2chatter · May 2013

We tend to do more individual than team sports for this reason. Eldest plays tennis, younger does gymnstics. We did one season of soccer, three months, and I wanted to die. There was no coach so I was on the field "helping" four year olds with DS (weeks old) in a sling. Seriously, there were moments where I thought I was going to lose my mind. Two nights a week and Saturday games was brutal with three kids and a career. In a school league with a total two day a week commitment it might be more feasible....but you might work your way up. Try one evening a week swim lessons first to get your feet wet....then try a team sport.....

MammaBear81 · May 2013

We are booked most afternoons/evenings with at least one activity with the kids. Monday DH takes DS1 to soccer practice. Tuesday he takes DD1 to her morning dance class, and my mom takes DS2 and DD1 to dance in the afternoon (DH could take them, but my mom likes to watch the class). Right now we have nothing on Wednesdays, and Thursdays I have a "short" work day and I take the older four kids to swimming lessons. Saturday we "divide and conquer" because we have three in soccer and they all play Saturday mornings.

rubber_chicken · May 2013

Doesn't anybody carpool anymore? I just assumed I could bribe a SAHM with gasmoney. I mean, parental attendance is not expected at practices, right?

jennmomof3 · May 2013

It really is doable if you put your mind to it. We live in Canada where hockey is very popular! My two older kids both play in a competitive league - this means at least 4 or 5 days on the ice (each!!) The poor baby is dragged along a lot - but he fairly happy about it most days!

It just takes pre planning with regards to dinners and homework....I hate if they eat chicken fingers more than once a week - so I have to rely on my crockpot or make dinner ahead so they have something healthy to eat before we are out the door!

And as they get older - we definitely do carpool with other parents - this makes it A LOT easier!! There is no point in every parent going to practice!

LoCarb · May 2013

Does you school offer aftercare? Our elementary offers aftercare with a sports option. I assume practices can be without me and actual gams/recitals I will adjust my work schedule to attend.

krub · May 2013

I pretty much don't do activities that meet 2x a week b/c I find them to be such a time suck. If my kids loved it, I would do it. But, it drains them too. activities that meet at 5 pm are really tough for us, but 6 or later is doable. I didn't sign DD up for activities in KG on a weekday until the 2nd half of the year, though. I wanted to see how she handled a full day in school first. She is fine now, but I think she needed some time to transition and would have had a rough go of a PM activity during the week for the first few months of kindie.

carlab44 · May 2013

DD is in 1st grade and has played soccer the past two falls. Games were always on Saturday and practices during the week. This past year her practices were right after school and right at school which made it convenient. For those with scheduling conflicts the parents would just take turns bringing the kids from school to the practice. I have a flexible schedule so I could often do it.

I'm not looking forward to this year because she'll have two practices during the week (plus games on Saturday) and DS will have practice once a week (plus games on Saturday)

gimmietimmies · May 2013

rubber_chicken:
Doesn't anybody carpool anymore? I just assumed I could bribe a SAHM with gasmoney. I mean, parental attendance is not expected at practices, right?

We carpool. And weather permitting the older kids ride bikes. My dks, with the exception of dd4 are in something 11 out of 12 months. May - August its M-F and mid-September to April MTWFSun for T and TWSat for E and TW for K. Mostly water sports with dance thrown in and a few competitions.

7 weeks is nothing.

KL777 · May 2013

krub:
I pretty much don't do activities that meet 2x a week b/c I find them to be such a time suck. If my kids loved it, I would do it. But, it drains them too. activities that meet at 5 pm are really tough for us, but 6 or later is doable. I didn't sign DD up for activities in KG on a weekday until the 2nd half of the year, though. I wanted to see how she handled a full day in school first. She is fine now, but I think she needed some time to transition and would have had a rough go of a PM activity during the week for the first few months of kindie.

Great point. I was wondering about that too.

heyitsme · May 2013

We haven't been able to manage it thus far. Sad

DD does gymnastics on Saturday. We even stacked gymnastics and swimming for a month (one before the other) but she was too tired afterward.

She is in our church choir and they rehearse from 5-6pm on Mondays. Even fitting that in has been a challenge. It means our before-school routine changes so that I can get to work earlier, so that I can get out earlier. But Mondays are just chaotic. I feel rushed, by the time we get home the kids are starving, etc. DH can't help with pickup because he goes from a day job to a night job on Mondays...

I don't know how other two-parent working families do it. Especially when a lot of stuff in our area has practices at like 4pm. Do people not work 9-5 anymore? In our area there are a lot of SAHMs, though, and I think that is why it happens naturally that practices are earlier.

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