Calling ALL Mommies of boys

MrsMommyofDom · May 2013

Mobile: calling all mommies of boys

I have 2, one 3 and a half and the other is 4 weeks old. When I bf the baby, ds1 will run up and talk to his brother, kiss him or try to watch him eat. I know it is innocent, but yesterday my husband told me he was talking about his private parts and today he lifted up his shirt and said "my brother is hungry, ill feed him with this" and touched his left nipple. My husband told him that him and our son cannot make the baby's food, only mommy can and soon she wont be able to. He has asked only once if he could nurse, I told him no. I would find it weird and uncomfortable if he did, I just told him that he drinks milk from the fridge, and his brother has mine because it is made for him. He was fine with it.

My question is, is my husband told me to cover up whenever I am nursing or pumping, home or in public. I have 2 boys that shouldn't see my breast. I can see his point, but should I really cover up in my own home? What would you do? When I go in another room, my 3 year old follows because he wants the company. What do I tell my son if he asks why im covered?

mrst-tobe · May 2013

My nephew was 2 when his sister was born and I remember him trying to breastfeed things like his stuffed animals shortly after she was born. I think it's completely normal behavior and nothing to worry over. He only did it for a short while. I think once the new of the baby wore off! ;-) he is a totally normal 5 year old now. No emotional scarring! Haha

If you don't make it a big deal it won't be a big deal. You could get a book like "Mama's Milk" or something to help him understand about it if you want.

pmduggan01 · May 2013

How adorable that your LO is so caring and wanting to help his little brother. It all sounds normal to me, and I agree with what the other moms wrote about not having to cover yourself in your home.

Sesame Street also had breast feeding stories, and here is one of them on YouTube:

https://youtu.be/7-L-Fg7lWgQ

FYI, I've nursed in front of my young nieces and nephews, and my sister nursed in front of her sons when they were little. They really didn't even pay attention to me.

HattieDornbush · May 2013

This is completely normal. I wouldn't cover up.

ncbelle · May 2013

Um...bluntly, your husband is being immature.

I never cover up in front of my 4 year old - he still sees me change clothes. It's a body and not sexual. I would not cover up in my home. If your son sees you nursing, he will see nursing for the biological non-sexual activity that it is - and grow up more enlightened than your husband

TexasMom7137 · May 2013

DH insisted that I cover up in frontof DS1 as well. That lasted all of 5 minutes. DS1 did show a lot of interest at 1st but now he just says "mommy feeding my brother?" I just tell him yes and he walks away to go play. DH realized he had actually made way too big a deal of asking me to cover up and hasn't said anything since.

ChrisLipstick · May 2013

ncbelle:
Um...bluntly, your husband is being immature.
I never cover up in front of my 4 year old - he still sees me change clothes. It's a body and not sexual. I would not cover up in my home. If your son sees you nursing, he will see nursing for the biological non-sexual activity that it is - and grow up more enlightened than your husband

This! Breastfeeding is natural and not at all sexual. Your son should see you do it so he can learn and appreciate what a gift you are giving baby.

MrsMommyofDom · May 2013

Thank you everyone for all of your advice. I feel like I shouldn't have to cover up at all in my home. My son and I have been close, walking around our house half naked is completely normal.I want him to be comfortable with his body so I had a feeling that this would draw attention. I have big boobs. As it is, DD so getting and keeping the baby comfortable and holding my boob and the wrestling with a cover is too much...like baby cant concentrate on eating. So to hell with the cover! I will gladly cover up in public or outside my home. My hubby can chill!

kreeper611 · May 2013

DS is the same age and I don't cover up. However, it wasn't like he saw something new. He is usually in the room when I get dressed and we have showered together also so he knew what my boobs are.

He hasn't tried to feed the baby, but I know friends who said their boys tried to pretend nurse stuffed animals. No big deal. It would just be a phase and would pass. Right now he is more curious about the pump than bfing. He actually calls my boobs bottles and knows that it is special milk for DD only.

I do kinda wonder what he tells the kids at daycare, but oh well.

laurenann82 · May 2013

We took our son to visit my BIL and his family this weekend and my 5 year old nephew was really interested in me feeding the baby. I let him watch and he asked lots of questions. Nothing about it seemed inappropriate or wrong to me or his parents.

MrsMommyofDom · May 2013

I am so thankful that this board is up. There is so much support on here and it really keeps me sane. Breastfeeding is a commitment and it isnt always easy. I was the only one pregnant in my family and friends and now I have the only baby. It is hard not to get discouraged when people give you weird looks or just dont know much about breastfeeding. It makes me uncomfortable. My mil and sister are the only ones who make me feel normal. Everytime i come on here, all the women make it sound like everyone else isnt and that makes me happy! Breast is best!

LoriLee14 · May 2013

He is 3 not 13. I would not go anywhere or do anything special to cover up or exculde your first son every time you have to feed the new baby. He will move on to a new tangent and you won't be feeding the baby as much as he gets older. He also will not have any memories when he gets older.

emolee84 · May 2013

I don't use a cover in public (I don't just whip them out or anything but I don't wear a blanket over us), so I def. don't/won't cover up in my own house.

My 3 year old son has more than once sat down with his baby while I was feeding his baby brother and lifted his shirt to feed his baby, it's completely innocent.

Actually funny story, a couple days ago he was holding his baby brother and lifted up his shirt and told me he was going to help feed his brother and that his milk is chocolate milk. It was too cute

ILoveRunning · May 2013

jfresh:
No I would not cover up. Your 3 year old needs to know how babies eat and that it's completely normal. You are in your own home and you need to be comfortable, I would think my H was completely out of line if he suggested something like that. Your son needs to learn that women feeding babies is normal and what breasts are for, it will be healthy for him to understand that part of the body and relationship between mom and baby. There is a clip from an old Mr. Rogers episode on YouTube, I bet it would be helpful to show it to your son.

Agree with all of this!

brownibite · May 2013

DS1 will be 3 in August, and DS2 just turned 8 weeks, and I've been openly nursing since we came home from the hospital. DS1 understands what mommy is doing with the baby and will very freely state, "He is eating your boob". He has even tried to nurse the baby with his "boobs", which my husband and I think is cute and not offensive at all. At this age children will imitate behaviors that they see at home, and it is only awkward if people make it that way. I really hope that your husband understands that it is normal for young children to imitate behaviors and that it is an innocent act and nothing to be frowned upon. Good luck!

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