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Help from family?

Sherrita82Sherrita82 member
in Single Parents
My csection is scheduled for June 14th. I have an aunt that during my entire pregnancy that has said that she would love to watch my LO while I work. So, this past week I confirmed with her that this was something she was really interested in doing and told her to really think about it.

Fast forward to Saturday. My father is at my apartment and tells me that he was at my aunts house when I called. He then asks me "what are you trying to do, drum up some support?"

Then he proceeds to tell me that this is an awful plan and I need to come up with another plan. I told him that she has offered several times and that I told her she should think about it and let me know to which she immediately said yes. He tells me "your aunt doesn't want to be around your screaming baby."

Later that night during a family dinner he tells this to my brother and sister and law like its a joke laughing the entire time.

Am I wrong, she wouldn't have offered her help if she didn't mean it? Also, is there something wrong with my family offering their support for their niece that's about to be a single mom? Is my dad embarrassed? Do I say something to him about this?
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Re: Help from family?

  • tig594tig594 member
    No...i would have a heart to heart face to face with your aunt. Not sure about your dad but he seems insensitive and unsupportive.
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  • tracy41tracy41 member
    Your dad seems like he's being a jerk. Sorry he's not very supportive. I would sit down with your aunt, let her know your dad has made some comments, and you just want to verify that she is okay watching LO, and let it be between you two. You may want to sit down with her anyway to verify what baby gear you need to buy for her if she's going to be watching LO at her house. I've got 3 different people who will be watching mine when I go back and it's been a pain getting gear for all of them but its the only plan I could get to work without going the daycare route.
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  • CoIvieCoIvie member
    imagetracy41:
    Your dad seems like he's being a jerk. Sorry he's not very supportive. I would sit down with your aunt, let her know your dad has made some comments, and you just want to verify that she is okay watching LO, and let it be between you two. You may want to sit down with her anyway to verify what baby gear you need to buy for her if she's going to be watching LO at her house. I've got 3 different people who will be watching mine when I go back and it's been a pain getting gear for all of them but its the only plan I could get to work without going the daycare route.


    This..

    Is he upset because he's not the one watching your kid? If your aunt didn't want to watch 'your screaming kid' I don't think she would offer. But like PP said, talk to her and tell her what your dad said just so she knows and can clear it all up. It's not wrong at all that your family is offering you support, that's what a good family does! You didn't beg her, she offered.
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  • 20thirteen20thirteen member

    Also, if for some reason she bails out on you, you should check out what your state offers in subsidized child care.

     That was a shitty thing for your father to say/do, if he can't handle the fact that your aunt offered and you're taking her up on that offer, that's his own problem.   

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  • inthelostinthelost member
    That's really a crappy thing for your father to say to you, and I'm really sorry he's being such an insensitive jerk. I agree that it's his problem if he can't deal with the fact that your aunt just wants to help you. I mean, she offered and it seems like she genuinley does want to help you, don't be afraid to take her up on it!
    Liliana Seraphina born 9/5/2103


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  • Sherrita82Sherrita82 member
    Thanks ladies! I was afraid I wa just being sensitive.
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  • MrsHKMrsHK member

    You handled it well and you're are not pressuring your aunt into this at all. It may be because your dad is feeling like this would set up the expectation that he'll be pressured into baby-sitting sometime too, even if not by you but by himself. He could feel inadequate that he can't/won't do that you himself. 

    We had a similar situation last year with my parents and one of my brothers. The kids were going to stay overnight with my parents so that DH and I could go away for one night. My brother confronted me that he didn't think they could handle it and that mom was stressed about it. Not the case. The whole thing was her idea! Not only had she wanted to take them overnight her originally request was to bring them back to her house (from our house in another state) and keep them for a week. We ended up doing the one night overnight while we were visiting them. 

    I went over and over it with my parents to make sure that they didn't feel like we were dumping this on them. In the end I think either brother took a comment/joke the wrong way or he was really worried that this would set the expectation that they would be expected to leave their son overnight with our parents. They still had a really young baby at the time and (reasonably so) were/are a little more hyper protective about him. 

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