My view on teen pregnancy.

BbyCarter13 · May 2013

*I am NOT meaning to offend anyone, this is just my opinion.*

I sincerely think that if society was more open about how uncomfortable and miserable pregnancy can be to young teenage girls many of them would reconsider risking getting pregnant.

I was speaking with a friend this afternoon and her younger sister (maybe 15 or 16) was listening. We are discussing how rough pregnancy can be but that most ladies just don't speak about it. They hide the "bad" parts of pregnacy. The younger sister spoke up during the conversation and asked why I got pregnant if it was so horrible. I told her that my BF had been taking precautions (BC and condoms) to prevent pregnancy but they failed and I got pregnant anyway. I then had to explain to her how he left me at 15 weeks and how hard it has been get through pregnancy alone and that it will not get any easier once the baby gets here. It turned out to be a HUGE reality check for this girl because she just started having sex with her BF a few months ago (she's very open about that kind of thing with her sister). She didn't realize how easy it was for protection methods to fail.

The girl said she didn't know pregnancy could be so hard; that no one had every really spoke to her about it. She just always assumed that you got pregnant, your belly grew, you had the baby and that was it. She knew nothing of the risks or complications. She didn't understand why I was so miserable (hot, tired, achy, swollen, etc) or why apprehensive about L&D. She has had sex ed class but didn't really know what happens during L&D.

Sorry this ended up being longer than I planned but I just had to get it out tonight. I wish I could help enlighten more young girls without scaring them.

jennOK · May 2013

I had a family baby shower today. My husband's little 13 year old cousin was there. She was talking about how she couldn't wait to have a baby. I know she was just talking like little kids do without thinking, but she's a child and looking at it like it will be all fun and games, a new toy to play with. I think lots of teen girls think this way. I was sure to mention she had lots of time and how I wasn't ready to have a baby until after I turned 30 because I focused on my education, then my career and waited until I thought I was ready for such a huge responsibility of raising a child. Hopefully, some if it sunk in to her.

RachelLaree20 · May 2013

I agree with the fact that education needs to be presented more to teenagers about pregnancy and everything like that, dangers, complications, the more negative side of things. Not to mention the financial hardships that come from having a child young before you've been able to get through school and establish a career and so on.

I'm not a teen mom, I had my first baby a few days ago and am 21 but still feel like there was so much I should have done first before getting pregnant. I'm living with my boyfriend and money is incredibly tight, it's stressful but working for us at least. In my situation, birth control failed and I ended up pregnant. I wouldn't trade my child for anything in the world, but pregnancy was no walk in the park and it's completely life-changing.

steph_pegasus · May 2013

It definitely doesn't help that our society has glorified the teen pregnancy phenom with stupid tv shows either. Kudos to you for being open with her about how difficult it has been for you, a lot of people wouldn't be so open. Especially with someone they don't know that well.

notquiteblushing · May 2013

Well I don't think teens should get pregnant but I was SO scared of pregnancy being hard due to everything I've heard about. Turns out I love being pregnant and it was 100 times easier than I feared.

CoffeeBeanFiend91 · May 2013

My 17 year old niece is due a week after me and she still doesn't seem to get it. I asked if she ha a bag packed yet because I will be getting her things for the hospital instead of baby stuff for her shower. She seriously didn't even know she should pack a bag. Good on you to tell her about your experience. If teens had a wake up call before getting pregnant I garuntee the teen pregnancy rate would be lower. Hell, this was planned and was still thrown for a loop with everything that has come with pregnancy so far.

skio · May 2013

I think proper sex ed is way more important than trying to scare teens away from pregnancy, labor, and delivery with horror stories. Knowing about failure of protection and what happens to the body during pregnancy and delivery are important and should be taught, both in school and by parents. I'm surprised that the girl you encountered knew so little. Then again, I know that sex ed in our schools is lacking.

I am not going to sugar coat pregnancy to my girls as they get older, because god knows that my pregnancies are far from easy, but I also will be sure to explain to them how amazing pregnancy is in its way. I don't want them to be scared of it when the time comes for them. I can only hope that time will not be when they are teens, but nonetheless, I don't want them to be terrified.

So, I disagree that we should be scaring young girls away from pregnancy by telling our worst stories about the discomforts. This terrible, negative, fearful attitude that women in this country tend to have about pregnancy and birth is part of the reason our medical intervention and c/s rates are so ridiculously high. It's sad to me.

ilovemarfa · May 2013

I haven't had awful pregnancies so I don't think that pregnancy is horrible and necessarily a deterent for teens not to get pregnant. I know when I was a teen I wasn't ready to give up my life to raise a child and that's why I was careful to not put myself in a situation where I would get pregnant.

iggles09 · May 2013

I agree these kids need to be educated much better about sex Ed in general. They need the serious facts, girls and boys.

Trouble with just scaring them, in my opinion, is they almost always have that "it will never happen to me" outlook on life. I think they will still look at teen moms on TV, internet, wherever and just see these happy girls with their cute babies. The hardships of losing their bf, having a, medically complicated pregnancy, financial woes will still be pushed out of their brain as a possibility.

Hopefully one day soon we, as a society, figure out how to reduce much of the teen pregnancy issue. Unfortunately it will never go away BC accidents happen and kids make mistakes.

KCGold · May 2013

Absolutely they need better sex ed, but where? As a teacher, we can't do it in the schools. So many schools are abstinence only and you can't even mention any kind of precautions, let alone talk about pregnancy. I teach PE and I taught some health stuff also, at the time in an inner city. It's amazing the things that these kids thought. You can't get pregnant if the girl is on top, because of gravity... and more crazy things!

It's needs to be taught, but parents and gov't prevent schools from teaching it, but then the parents don't teach it either. It's a constant finger pointing game. I'd love to be able to sit down all my students and just talk to them about everything.

bumpuser8448316 · May 2013

skio:
I think proper sex ed is way more important than trying to scare teens away from pregnancy, labor, and delivery with horror stories. Knowing about failure of protection and what happens to the body during pregnancy and delivery are important and should be taught, both in school and by parents. I'm surprised that the girl you encountered knew so little. Then again, I know that sex ed in our schools is lacking. I am not going to sugar coat pregnancy to my girls as they get older, because god knows that my pregnancies are far from easy, but I also will be sure to explain to them how amazing pregnancy is in its way. I don't want them to be scared of it when the time comes for them. I can only hope that time will not be when they are teens, but nonetheless, I don't want them to be terrified. So, I disagree that we should be scaring young girls away from pregnancy by telling our worst stories about the discomforts. This terrible, negative, fearful attitude that women in this country tend to have about pregnancy and birth is part of the reason our medical intervention and c/s rates are so ridiculously high. It's sad to me.

totally agree.

megaroo64 · May 2013

Sex education certainly needs to be improved, but not just at school- at home as well, which is ALWAYS easier said than done. And abstinence- only education is about the stupidest thing ever. I know teachers don't make those decisions, but it seriously leaves our teenagers with NO information and people that DO make those decisions should take that in to consideration.

I taught at-risk high school students for awhile when I first graduated college. I had a lot of female students that had one or more children. Seriously, some of these girls had their first child when they were 14 or 15. Every situation is different, but I think in general, it is hard for hard for teenagers to really think about the future and really understand how having a baby is going to impact the rest of their lives. Many of my students lived with kind of a day-by-day attitude, so thinking about having that child to take care of for the next 18 years, was just not something they were capable of doing.

Anyway, while I think that teenagers should be aware of what pregnancy is really like, I don't think scaring them with some of the details of pregnancy is going to be as much of a deterrent. Like I said, many of my students had multiple children, so they already knew about some of the crappy aspects of pregnancy. I think finding a way to make teenagers really look at the long term consequences might be a little more helpful.

GirlWithAnchors · May 2013

I honestly wish the Sex Ed classes were more detailed and informative. In high school they just taught us how the baby was formed and how the process went from conception to birth. Never how the mother felt. But I also thought it was pointless to make the class only available to Juniors because by then most of the kids have already had sex and half were expecting/parents already. In my opinion, which most might disagree with, is that Sex Ed should be taught in middle school before entering high school. Once your in high school, the pressure is on to be accepted times a million. It's sad to say that I knew a bunch of guys who would knowingly "attack" the freshman girls their first month of school by inviting them to parties or dates and whoever "racked up" the most virgins won. It's really sad because what 15 year old girl isn't swept away by that 18 year old stud that says all the right things? I don't want to put all the blame on guys either cause I also knew a lot of girls that were so eager to jump into bed with any guy to "just get it over with".

It's also the parents. My mom was a teen mom. She had me two weeks after she turned 16. My father stuck around for two years but was extremely abusive. I knew that but she never really wanted to talk about how it all affected her. I know now that she was most likely embarrassed and ashamed of her mistakes but maybe if she had talked to me about her pregnancy experience, I would have waited a lot longer to have sex. I'm 20 FTM to twins and personally I'm not holding myself higher than a teen mom because I was 19 when I got pregnant. But luckily for me, DH wasn't a runaway deadbeat. He stuck by my side. He got a better job, works any and all over time, which is good because i had to stop working earlier in my pregnancy due to high risk, we moved out together, he bought a family car, and we only depend on each other. I was very blessed and truly lucky to find him because most guys wouldn't bother now a days.

This is getting too long lol

Point is! Schools should go over all aspects of Sex, pregnancy, and the after math. I personally will be as open as I possibly can with DD and DS about sex and hope they can be too.

lioness13 · May 2013

I believe sex education should be done at home. Parents depending on schools to educate their children on more than the biology of making a child is ridiculous IMO. I think there are many ways to educate teens about pregnancy but it isn't all about scare tactics.

Vmorris1194 · July 2013

Hi, I'm 18 and 24 weeks pregnant. This wasn't planned but that won't change how I feel about my daughter. Teen pregnancy isn't something I think should be in a teenagers mind at all even if they have a stale income, their own place, ect...A baby is a lot of work considering worked part-time at a day care just months before the doctors told me I was going to have a baby of my own.

I have literally sat through the Sex ED class, my class showed everything...it really did not hold anything back and my mom even showed me her delivery video...yeah that scared me half to death and made me set my mind to never having kids. But hey look where I am now, but I'm not like most of the girls in my school either, me and my fiance used condoms and I was on the pill. And yes, I moved back i with my parents because they wanted me to move back in, I had an apartment of my own, a good job, and everything under control but my parents wanted me and my fiance to be with them for at least a year and a half after the baby is born, so me and him can completely finish our classes in school like normal teenager.

I will not lie, I dislike the pains and everything that comes with pregnancy but I would not trade it in, I have thought about Adoption and I talked it over with my family, they didnt like that idea because they strongly believe that if you can lay in bed and play, you can take care of what you create.

If my daughter came up to me and said that she was a pregnant teenager, I would just support her in her actions, I couldn't really say very much since I already been through the same predicament so why get completely mad at her for something...I would try and educate her the I can before such incident were to ever happen but after that I can't really do much more, other than be a good mother and hope she makes the right choices.

This pregnancy has made me grow up a lot, I use to party and stay away from home for weekends and return just in time to rest up before school, but I also knew how to balance my life...Straight A student and never got into trouble...hehe can't say to much for my fiance. I plan on going to college to become a professional dancer and opening my own dance studio...but right now I feel like I should worry about the here and now. My daughter is going to need all the love she can get and it is obvious because my fiance's mom is like a lot of typical people that view teen pregnancy, she has openly said that she would not have nothing to do with Wynter and that we should never call or ask for anything, so the love has to come from my family and people that love us.

tantdylf · July 2013

Vmorris1194:
Hi, I'm 18 and 24 weeks pregnant. This wasn't planned but that won't change how I feel about my daughter. Teen pregnancy isn't something I think should be in a teenagers mind at all even if they have a stale income, their own place, ect...A baby is a lot of work considering worked parttime at a day care just months before the doctors told me I was going to have a baby of my own.

I have literally sat through the Sex ED class, my class showed everything...it really did not hold anything back and my mom even showed me her delivery video...yeah that scared me half to death and made me set my mind to never having kids. But hey look where I am now, but I'm not like most of the girls in my school either, me and my fiance used condoms and I was on the pill. And yes, I moved back i with my parents because they wanted me to move back in, I had an apartment of my own, a good job, and everything under control but my parents wanted me and my fiance to be with them for at least a year and a half after the baby is born, so me and him can completely finish our classes in school like normal teenager.nbsp;I will not lie, I dislike the pains and everything that comes with pregnancy but I would not trade it in, I have thought about Adoption and I talked it over with my family, they didnt like that idea because they strongly believe that if you can lay in bed and play, you can take care of what you create.If my daughter came up to me and said that she was a pregnant teenager, I would just support her in her actions, I couldn't really say very much since I already been through the samenbsp;predicament so why get completely mad at her for something...I would try and educate her the I can before such incident were to ever happen but after that I can't really do much more, other than be a good mother and hope she makes the right choices.This pregnancy has made me grow up a lot, I use to party and stay away from home for weekends and return just in time to rest up before school, but I also knew how to balance my life...Straight A student and never got into trouble...hehe can't say to much for my fiance. I plan on going to college to become a professional dancer and opening my own dance studio...but right now I feel like I should worry about the here and now. My daughter is going to need all the love she can get and it is obvious because my fiance's mom is like a lot of typical people that view teen pregnancy, she has openly said that she would not have nothing to do with Wynter and that we should never call or ask for anything, so the love has to come from my family and people that love us.

Wtf and TL;dr.

BLT20051 · July 2013

Blast from the past.

homebird · July 2013

skio:
I think proper sex ed is way more important than trying to scare teens away from pregnancy, labor, and delivery with horror stories. Knowing about failure of protection and what happens to the body during pregnancy and delivery are important and should be taught, both in school and by parents. I'm surprised that the girl you encountered knew so little. Then again, I know that sex ed in our schools is lacking. I am not going to sugar coat pregnancy to my girls as they get older, because god knows that my pregnancies are far from easy, but I also will be sure to explain to them how amazing pregnancy is in its way. I don't want them to be scared of it when the time comes for them. I can only hope that time will not be when they are teens, but nonetheless, I don't want them to be terrified. So, I disagree that we should be scaring young girls away from pregnancy by telling our worst stories about the discomforts. This terrible, negative, fearful attitude that women in this country tend to have about pregnancy and birth is part of the reason our medical intervention and c/s rates are so ridiculously high. It's sad to me.

All of this. Exactly.

kelseypie · July 2013

tantdylf:
Vmorris1194:
Hi, I'm 18 and 24 weeks pregnant. This wasn't planned but that won't change how I feel about my daughter. Teen pregnancy isn't something I think should be in a teenagers mind at all even if they have a stale income, their own place, ect...A baby is a lot of work considering worked parttime at a day care just months before the doctors told me I was going to have a baby of my own.

I have literally sat through the Sex ED class, my class showed everything...it really did not hold anything back and my mom even showed me her delivery video...yeah that scared me half to death and made me set my mind to never having kids. But hey look where I am now, but I'm not like most of the girls in my school either, me and my fiance used condoms and I was on the pill. And yes, I moved back i with my parents because they wanted me to move back in, I had an apartment of my own, a good job, and everything under control but my parents wanted me and my fiance to be with them for at least a year and a half after the baby is born, so me and him can completely finish our classes in school like normal teenager.nbsp;I will not lie, I dislike the pains and everything that comes with pregnancy but I would not trade it in, I have thought about Adoption and I talked it over with my family, they didnt like that idea because they strongly believe that if you can lay in bed and play, you can take care of what you create.If my daughter came up to me and said that she was a pregnant teenager, I would just support her in her actions, I couldn't really say very much since I already been through the samenbsp;predicament so why get completely mad at her for something...I would try and educate her the I can before such incident were to ever happen but after that I can't really do much more, other than be a good mother and hope she makes the right choices.This pregnancy has made me grow up a lot, I use to party and stay away from home for weekends and return just in time to rest up before school, but I also knew how to balance my life...Straight A student and never got into trouble...hehe can't say to much for my fiance. I plan on going to college to become a professional dancer and opening my own dance studio...but right now I feel like I should worry about the here and now. My daughter is going to need all the love she can get and it is obvious because my fiance's mom is like a lot of typical people that view teen pregnancy, she has openly said that she would not have nothing to do with Wynter and that we should never call or ask for anything, so the love has to come from my family and people that love us.

Wtf and TL;dr.

What I got out of it is that she wants to name her daughter Wynter.

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