Without doula?

supersarah77 · May 2013

I am planning on a med free hospital birth. I am very confident about a positive experience in the hospital where we'll be delivering for a number of reasons, one being that they are very supportive of natural birth. They also have the lowest csection rate in the city by far, well below the national average.

We are currently studying Hypnobirthing and I'm on the fence about hiring a doula. On one hand I know they decrease odds of a csection and can provide guidance and support in the delivery room giving me more confidence. On the other hand if I know myself like I think I do I won't want anyone touching me, talking to me, looking at me, around me, etc. I know, what a peach.

Has anyone had a natural hospital birth without a doula?

Khaleesi07 · May 2013

Superzuber:
I am planning on a med free hospital birth. I am very confident about a positive experience in the hospital where we'll be delivering for a number of reasons, one being that they are very supportive of natural birth. They also have the lowest csection rate in the city by far, well below the national average. We are currently studying Hypnobirthing and I'm on the fence about hiring a doula. On one hand I know they decrease odds of a csection and can provide guidance and support in the delivery room giving me more confidence. On the other hand if I know myself like I think I do I won't want anyone touching me, talking to me, looking at me, around me, etc. I know, what a peach. Has anyone had a natural hospital birth without a doula?

I can't offer much advice, but I am in the same situation as you. I'd love to see if having a Doula will work for me, but my boyfriend and I can't really afford to be out of $1,000 if it ends up not working out for whatever reason. My main issue is that I have no idea if I will be super cranky/irritable and won't want a stranger hovering over me. But at the same time I feel my boyfriend is the one who could actually use the support more than me! I'm currently in the process of looking for an apprentice doula. I've emailed a couple of different Doula practices, last night actually, and I plan on calling my hospital today to see if they have any contact information for apprentice Doulas.

If you're willing to go with an apprentice, that might be a good option for you since it's usually much more affordable.

Haley.Beth · May 2013

I wish I had hired a doula when I was a ftm. No matter where I was birthing. You can prepare all you want, you can take all the classes, your SO can be as supportive as they come, but the honest truth of the matter is, you have no idea what you're getting into lol. I had a natural friendly OB, and the hospital claimed to be natural friendly, but that didn't stop them from pushing various interventions that they saw as "normal" and putting us in situations we weren't ready to deal with. Dh was awesome, but both of us were way too overwhelmed dealing with figuring out the labor process itself to be able to concentrate on what the hospital wanted from us. Also, I had a long-ish labor, and I know dh got tired, and he forgot to eat and take care of himself because he was too busy taking care of me; that started to show around the time we had been up for 48 hours.

I wish we had someone to advocate for us in more detail than our birth plan provided without having to break my concentration during labor. I wish someone had been there to reassure us everything was going well during those times I was doubting myself and dh honestly didn't know what was happening. I would have liked to have someone to play tag team with him and remind him he needed to take care of himself to take care of me.

Long story short, I really think a doula is beneficial to ANY ftm. A doula will be whatever kind of labor support you need, not necessarily someone hanging over you and touching you the entire time. I do suggest at least interviewing a couple of them and see what she can offer.

aylafsu88 · May 2013

Haley.Beth:
I wish I had hired a doula when I was a ftm. No matter where I was birthing. You can prepare all you want, you can take all the classes, your SO can be as supportive as they come, but the honest truth of the matter is, you have no idea what you're getting into lol. I had a natural friendly OB, and the hospital claimed to be natural friendly, but that didn't stop them from pushing various interventions that they saw as "normal" and putting us in situations we weren't ready to deal with. Dh was awesome, but both of us were way too overwhelmed dealing with figuring out the labor process itself to be able to concentrate on what the hospital wanted from us. Also, I had a long-ish labor, and I know dh got tired, and he forgot to eat and take care of himself because he was too busy taking care of me; that started to show around the time we had been up for 48 hours.
I wish we had someone to advocate for us in more detail than our birth plan provided without having to break my concentration during labor. I wish someone had been there to reassure us everything was going well during those times I was doubting myself and dh honestly didn't know what was happening. I would have liked to have someone to play tag team with him and remind him he needed to take care of himself to take care of me.
Long story short, I really think a doula is beneficial to ANY ftm. A doula will be whatever kind of labor support you need, not necessarily someone hanging over you and touching you the entire time. I do suggest at least interviewing a couple of them and see what she can offer.

I agree with all of this. Birth can be a long, painful, emotional process and as a FTM I did not know what to expect. I had a doula and she was worth her weight in gold for the exact reasons Haley.Beth described. There are women on here who have had a natural birth without a doula. It can be done. However, the women I know IRL who wanted a natural birth but thought a doula was to expensive or that there H would be able to support them did not have the births they wanted. It is exhausting when you are in labor for 15+ hours and relying on your H to support you. IMO a additional support person (a doula, friend, mom) is key, even if it is so your H can eat or go to the bathroom.

sschwege · May 2013

I didn't have a doula either time and don't regret it. We were at a hospital that is very pro-natural childbirth and I am one of those woman who just likes to be left alone to do my thing. With DS I labored by myself until I told DH it was time to go to the hospital and I was complete when we arrived, so I definitely like to be left alone. Both times we had a second support person in the room with us. The first time it was my MIL and the second time my mother, so there was someone extra in case DH needed help (he's Type I diabetic, so I wanted to make sure there was someone there to make sure he checked his blood sugar, ate, etc).

Since your hospital is so supportive you might ask to see if they have volunteer doulas, mine did!

thegoodpotato · May 2013

I delivered naturally in hospital without a doula. I was living in rural British Columbia (Canada) at the time, and they are VERY natural-friendly, right down to not giving episiotomies. The nurses were awesome - at check in, they asked what I wanted out of labour, and I was coherent enough at that point to tell them I didn't want an epidural, although I didn't rule out anything else. They didn't even offer the nitrous until I asked for it.

They don't even call the doctor until you're getting close to delivery... But I'm not sure if that's normal, as my labour was unexpectedly fast, and I almost delivered without a doctor because the on-call doc lived one town away and it was 3:00am.

If your hospital's policy is to be natural, you probably don't need a doula, but go in prepared to let everyone know exactly what you want. .

abell77 · May 2013

If you are confident in your husband's ability to support you, then you should be fine. We took Bradley classes and I delivered at a natural birth friendly hospital. I had no doula, but with my husband and midwife I never felt the need for additional support.

MrsBigTime · May 2013

I had a natural hospital birth without a doula. My DH was my labor support and I was fortunate to have an awesome nurse and a very attentive Midwife.

Doulas are awesome, but definitely not necessary if you have good support from your husband or medical team.

A37licia · May 2013

If the hospital is natural birth friendly with low cs rate, as you said, I think you can get by fine without a doula. You might want to keep the option open to have the guts to ask for a different nurse if the one you get upon arrival seems counter to your wishes, but other than that, there are tons of women who have done it without a doula. You could also consider asking a friend to act as a doula if you want that extra support.

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