I'm losing it!

nekorayne · May 2013

What do you do when you feel you need an attitude makeover?

I'm just overwhelmed and having trouble dealing right now. I feel like my blood pressure is always had and everything makes me mad. It makes me feel guilty, that makes me feel sad and then that just makes it worse. I know its just so much at once right now and in a few months it will calm down and I'll look back on this time and miss it, but I'm going nuts.

DD is breastfeeding constantly and DS is in full swing of the "I'm turning 3 this week and now having those "terrible 2's" that get worse at 3 and have decided to just go full blown destruction, fit throwing, and whinyness mode". DH has been working a ton. I feel like I'm totally disconnect from DH, we need some alone time. I feel like I'm not connecting with DS because he is just constantly getting in trouble. I mean he is CONSTANTLY wanting to eat and when he is not eating he is tearing up something or whining. I'm touched out and don't respond to the pump and DD hates being put down. I'm just in a bad mood and have snapped at everyone I love just about every day last week. I'm not handling DS well right now at all....I just need a day where we have fun and he does not tear everything up while whining for food he never eats! Its the poor kids birthday Tuesday and he has a party sunday and I'm snapping at him constantly!

I need a complete attitude rehab....STAT!!!

jensriot · May 2013

When I feel this way, which I think happens to most of us, it usually means I need to do something for me. Girls night out, a little shopping alone (not the grocery store), or something alone with DH really help me reset. If none of that is possible, a little wine on the porch after bedtime can help in a pinch. I hope it gets better soon. I just talked to DH a couple nights ago about feeling guilty for constantly getting on to the kids.

DisneyFreeek · May 2013

You are not alone. Mine are making me nuts too, and hubby doesn't get why I need a break. I also think the kids would do well with a break from mommy. I have no one that can really take them away without them freaking out about it, so I rarely get an hour to myself, except when they are asleep. Hubby works til Midnight so I can't even go out after they are in bed. I am going nucking futs here. If I am super frustrated with the 2 year old, I try to just leave the room. Baby is napping and she is coloring now, so I can sneak off for a few to chill out. Sigh. It will get better, right?

MesmrEwe · May 2013

We've all been there at some point!! Anyone who says they haven't isn't a parent or has an amazing amount of backstage crew help.

As the PP pointed out, usually when I get that way too, it means MOM NEEDS ALONE TIME STAT! And yes, you also need on top of that alone time with your DH with NO KIDS AROUND! Could be pizza night at home, but time to unwind.

If BF is getting that stressful, introduce the bottle. One bottle here or there even of formula IS NOT going to ruin your supply. I know it's a hard decision to come to, but it's really o.k. because if you're stressed out to the max you aren't producing as much anyway. I know with DS where I determined before I even had him I wasn't going to get myself in a tissy about EBM or FF or combo feeding, all that I was going to concern myself with was DS fed. I was so less stressed out especially with supply issues (I EP and had some challenges getting my supply established then 3 cases of mastitis didn't help matters any)..

One thing that has significantly helped is that DD is in school, but also that DS goes to daycare 3x/wk. The first two days are spent just unwinding and catching up. The third is, who am I kidding, it's still trying to catch up or possibly do some projects around the house that need to be done. It has been well worth the money/investment (we started with 2x/wk and a flex third) because the other work I do around here would have to be hired out to a professional and I quite enjoy some of it so I'd rather do it myself and have the no kiddo time even though I love them both to pieces, Mom needs her unwinding time!

Nollie0207 · May 2013

I think every parent has been there. When I feel like this I have to get some alone time. Hire a sitter for the day, drop them off with some friends, whatever you need to do just get away for a few hours. It will help your sanity so much.

sbevmc09 · May 2013

Ugh, been there.

My LOs are just about your LOs' ages and it's hard. 4 months is a rough point and 3 years is rough point. You'll get through it though. It just sounds like everything is coming together and you're really stressed right now.

I agree with PPs, do something for yourself? I was going to type "can you do something...?", but no, you NEED to do something. Make it happen. I don't care how you do it, but you need some you time. Have your H care for the kids while you relax in your room for a bit. Get a sitter and have a date night. Go out and get a massage. Retail therapy. Whatever. It's your turn for a break!

Even if a bottle isn't an option for your DD (hopefully it is) you can at least get away for a little bit. You deserve it.

MountaineerMomma · May 2013

When I feel like that I know it's time to give the sitter a call and schedule 3-4 hours of kid-free time. If I need time alone, I will shop half the time then meet DH for dinner. If we need some together time, we will do dinner and a movie.

Gym daycare is also helpful. You could always come back and nurse lo if you can't pump, then resume what you're doing.

nekorayne · May 2013

Thanks everyone! You have no idea how much hearing all that helped. DH just came home from work and told me I looked stressed and that he thinks I need some alone time. I'm not really worried about my supply, I BF DS for a bit over 2 years and never had a supply issue (I have no idea why I can't pump...it just does not work, ugh) and I have not had a supply issue with DD so I may just get formula to use on the occasional break/date night with DH. I'll just remember to BF right before I go and right when I come back so it won't be an issue. I really see now that I have been neglecting myself.

Thanks everyone

nekorayne · May 2013

Oh and DS is going to MIL's once a week so that helps! But DD hates being put down so I'm still holding her all day, which I LOVE! But its not time alone... I need REAL time alone. And with DH of course. DH loves watching the kids and so does MIL so I have no excuse not to take it besides BF DD. DH thinks I'm just not in the habbit of asking for time or something....like I won't go do it unless someone asks to watch the kids a certain dau. Like MIL ASKED for DS on Fridays every week! I'm bad about that ....

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