Tell me it gets better

LaxMOM44 · May 2013

Hi, 4 days pp.....I knew this would be hard but it's gotten to where I dread the nights because it's so exhausting and frustrating and honestly I just want to hear that it gets better soon even if it's not true. When did you ladies feel like you knew what to do and had some sense of normalcy? I'm not looking for a schedule but maybe a three hour sleep stretch would be nice or even the ability to put her down.

mommatotwo2 · May 2013

You can put her down now momma. Try a swing or bouncy seat. It does get better and a lot easier. You will sleep through the night again. You will not ever go back to "normalcy" as you once knew it, you have somebody to take care of, now and forever. But it gets easier each day/week/month and you will soon have a new sense of normal.

amcongdon · May 2013

It does get better. I had a good freak out at 5 days PP after a bad night of basically no sleep and latch problems. I was fortunate my mom came to help day 7. We are now at day 10 and I know we will have bad days but we will also have good. I get more confident every day. Just hang in there because it will all work out.

babykuz · May 2013

I know it doesn't seem like it now, but these first weeks will pass and you will look back on it as such a SMALL time frame of their first year. I had a really hard time finding a new "normal" after my DS was born. I felt like I couldn't shower, eat, go to the bathroom...because he would cry/wake up if I put him down. What I learned looking back was it is OK if they cry for the 5 min it takes to eat I would inhale my food..ha ha or shower. Put him down!! I borrowed a moby with my DD and it was a lifesaver...it's not just for going out..wear them around the house!

Also, try lots of different things. ALL of my kids spent the first month or more sleeping in the bouncy or car seat at night...it worked so I went with it. DS Would only nap in the swing. Don't let people tell you that you are spoiling him and that he has to learn to sleep in his bed. my kids are great sleepers and sleep in THEIR bed just fine. Do whatever makes your life easier. These first few weeks usually around 6wks are the hardest but are over before you know it! I bet you are doing a great job being a mama, but don't forget to take a few min for yourself too!! GL

virginiagirl11 · May 2013

What PP's said. It definitely gets better. My first was a very difficult baby and I dreaded a lot of nights during those early weeks. You will definitely adjust and LO's sleep will improve as he gains weight and gets a little bigger. Generally, the rule of thumb is around 10 lbs., they start being able to sleep longer stretches.

Hang in there. I promise it gets better. You just have to power through the first 4-8 weeks. If your friends offer to make food for you or do a grocery run or watch LO for a couple of hours to let you sleep, accept! If you need to put LO in the swing for a nap because it's the only place he'll sleep right now, do it. He'll be ready for his crib eventually.

BeesMomma00 · May 2013

It gets better. There will be good days and bad days. But it definitely gets easier.

With your first baby, everything changes. You are a mom, you have no freedom anymore, your relationship with your SO changes, hormones are surging and dying off, you're not sleeping, you feel like you haven't showered in days...

Make sure you take time for you. I know it's hard, but give the baby to someone, anyone... Go turn on the shower and melt away.

Eventually, you will figure out what is normal for you now. In the meantime, be sure to breathe and relax.

And sleep. Every chance you get.

Schell2013 · May 2013

It definitely gets better. You could always sleep sitting in a lazy boy type chair and let LO sleep on your chest. I know it's not a cure but when your exhausted and nothing else works at least you could catch a few hours maybe that way.

jedimindtrick · May 2013

Haha, no advice here since I'm a FTM but I hear you. I was about 8 days PP when I cracked. And that's with my mom staying with us since he's been born. But the lack of sleep got to me. But I have faith it will get better. I feel the same as you, I don't need a whole night, but 3 hrs at a time will be nice. The LC at the hospital said after 3 or 4 weeks they start to learn to sleep more at night and be awake at day. I hope so.

lcriordan · May 2013

It gets easier every day, I promise! I wish people had told me that at four days post partum but I am so grateful I know it this time around.

1and1is3 · May 2013

It's gets easier! Autumn slept in her swing a LOT that first week! Don't feel bad, your LO will get used to a crib eventually. At this point, wherever she will sleep so you can get some sleep is a good thing! Don't ignore the advice to sleep whenever she sleeps. I ignored it for awhile because I felt good but the lack of sleep caught up with me and I cracked. It will get better though!

Vera8413 · May 2013

I had a crack at 6 days pp. DH sent me to bed and took her for 4 hrs. it was heavenly.

A little trick I just learned because my little one wouldn't let me put get down is,...... Take the shirt wore today and place it on the bed or where ever your going to lay them. They will smell you and think they're still cuddling. H
I'm on night 2 of it. Worked great. Good luck, and it will get better

1and1is3 · May 2013

Vera8413:
I had a crack at 6 days pp. DH sent me to bed and took her for 4 hrs. it was heavenly.

A little trick I just learned because my little one wouldn't let me put get down is,...... Take the shirt wore today and place it on the bed or where ever your going to lay them. They will smell you and think they're still cuddling. H
I'm on night 2 of it. Worked great. Good luck, and it will get better

That is a wonderful little trick!!! You should def suggest that to all first week moms posts. The first week is so tough that I wish someone had told me that for my first week pp. I am going to try that next time she has a hard time falling asleep! Thank you!

sugarfingers · May 2013

It gets better and I think around two months things really settle down. The best advice I can give in the early weeks is nothing is a pattern yet. I felt like I needed to get things into a rhythm that I could live with forever, byt the beginning is just survival.

If your bedtime routine takes two hours, so be it, because by next week it will be completely different and you'll have a hard time even remembering what you did last week.

Each phase feels like: this is how my life will be forever! but the phases are pretty short lived. ESPECIALLY in the beginning. So take heart!

TradeMama · May 2013

I agree with PP. it does get better. Early on just do what you need to do and don't worry about bad habits... You can't spoil a baby and you can break bad habits later.

With this LO, I swore he'd sleep in his crib from day one... But he slept on my chest for the first few weeks until I caved and bought a RnP. Gas drops, Dr. Browns bottles, and burping twice made a huge difference... At about 10 days PP he started sleeping 3 hours at a time and it made a huge difference. We still have good days and bad days...sometimes I just have to ask my DH to take him so I can sleep. Make sure you ask for help if you need it!! Hugs! This too shall pass.

LaxMOM44 · May 2013

Thanks ladies. I've been reading your posts every time I get discouraged. It really has helped. I am really grateful for what you've said and for the advice so thanks again. I don't know how single moms do it. And for all you ladies heading back to work soon. Good luck and again thanks.

CRLSMC2011 · May 2013

I have three things that are working for me: (1) he hates laying flat on his back so we put him to sleep in the swing so he is at a slight angle; (2) while he is in the swing, we give him a pinky to suck on since he has a high need for sucking and Mom's diner has limited hours; and (3) (most important for my sanity) I feed him and then give him to DH to change his diaper and get him settled for sleep. He still screams, but I know he ate and DH can take care of the rest--changing, comforting, putting down.

Allure816 · May 2013

Like the others have said it does get better. With my first I had a third degree tear and was so tired. Then by 6 weeks pp for some reason everything changed and I felt better. I am 4 weeks pp with DS and I feel better already. I only had a second degree tear so I think that helps, but I promise it really does get better. The first few weeks and months are the hardest. Hang in there! I remember crying all the time with my first!

brrkrrs18 · May 2013

I was having a very hard time putting DD down to sleep as well. Try playing some white noise, like womb sounds or lullaby music. I downloaded an app on my phone last night and it worked great!

kdmaloney4 · May 2013

14 days pp for me is when i started to feel like myself again, just now with a beautiful baby.

MrsRKJ · May 2013

Are you EBF? If not, is there a way that maybe your SO can stay up with her for a bit? So you can sleep for a good 4-5 hour stretch? I agree with the PP's - it will get better.

Now I'm a bit different, my LO was in the NICU for the first month of his life (he was born at 33 wks), but when we brought him home, it sure was a change. DH & I took turns sleeping out in the living room with him (he was in a pack n play in there), but when DH went back to work, we put him in the cosleeper in the bedroom with us, and I get up with him in the middle of the night, DH puts him to bed and gets up with him in the morning (I'm pumping though, so DH can feed him too)

I know it's hard now (because she's so little), but starting thinking about trying to establish a routine. I'm just getting around to it, and my DS is 11 1/2 weeks (4 1/2 weeks adjusted).

Good luck, and hang in there mama! You're doing great

jenb1205 · May 2013

It gets WAAAAAY better. 4-14 days PP were probably the worst for me. I cried (sobbed is more like it) multiple times per day. It was awful and I am pretty sure 95% of it was hormones combined with lack of sleep. Even if you sleep whenever baby sleeps, you're still only getting such small stretches that it makes you crazy. I was ebf-ing in the beginning and really struggled with my husband getting full nights of sleep when I had to get up and feed. We just had to work out our system.

Plus, most pediatricians will allow you to let your LO sleep as long as they want to when they get past birthweight. It's not uncommon for us to have stretches of 4,5 or 6 hours at this point. At almost 4 weeks, he's getting more alert and fun. We even got the makings of a smile the other night for Daddy and me.

I promise you'll start feeling more human again when your hormones start to calm down. Every day gets a little better until you can finally look back and realize how far you've come from the beginning. My sweet boy is sitting next to me in his Boppy and just hanging out while I type. Sometimes I go a little crazy thinking that all I do all day is either nurse the baby, pump or wash 1 billion dishes but I am definitely enjoying myself a lot more.

Most babies love being in their carseat in a moving vehicle, we went somewhere almost every day even if it was just to a sandwich shop for a quick lunch or the baby store for more supplies. It helped to keep me sane!

jenb1205 · May 2013

Two more things I forgot to mention... I would just cry as night would approach every day. I felt like as the sun set, I would start to lose my mind. That goes away over time. But I've been where you are.

There were a few nights that I couldn't get him to settle down and I half slept with him on my chest on the couch. It was horribly uncomfortable, especially while I was still so sore from birth but we haven't had to do that in more than 2 weeks. He's totally comfortable in his sleeper.

klibby707 · May 2013

I just wanted to add...IT GETS SO MUCH BETTER. With my first DS, I would LOSE IT in the middle of the night, sobbing because he wouldn't latch. I ended up nursing him for close to a year. We battled thrush and him not latching for weeks without a shield. This time around is much harder with my two year old who won't sleep at all anymore (he is currently passed out in the toy room, haha). But it's also easier because this DS latches! I am much more sane. But for awhile, you just feel like you're not yourself. But it gets better as you get sleep.

Hang in there!!!

SandiaPinaMama · May 2013

Give it a few days. Things get better, I promise! Until then try very hard to just stay in the moment, and try to get help with the normal stuff like cooking.

MaggieMooMom · May 2013

It gets better. I had a rough time with my first too because it is such a big adjustment (and I had thrush for 2 months which made things worse).

But with my first, around 7 to 8 weeks she started sleeping 4-5 hour stretches at night.

Hang in there! It's tough!

nixieknox3 · May 2013

all three of my children have spent the first 2 weeks sleeping on DH's or my chest while we were semi-reclined in bed. it does get better, i promise! do you have a rock n play? i highly suggest you get one if you don't. the first 2-3 weeks of having a newborn is a rough time, but then it starts to get better. if you are still feeling overwhelmed in a few weeks, give your OB a call.

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