Is This Normal For First Time Dads?

Re: Is This Normal For First Time Dads?

• Shopaholic30

  May 2013

  TMVman:

  Listen guys, I am new here and I need your help. I need some guys to answer this for me. I am having trouble having sex with my wife now that she is pregnant. I still love and adore her very much, very much. She is my world. That is why I am struggling with this. I am not unattracted to her, I think I'm just a little weirded out by the fact that she is pregnant. I don't know what the problem is. I have been struggling with it for a couple of months and it is putting small strain on our relationship. Can you guys please help me? Is this normal?

   

  Not a guy here but I have heard this concern many times. How far along is she? Try looking at it in a diff perspective. She is the ULTIMATE woman. She is CARRYING YOUR BABY. Sex, unless directed otherwise by your doctor, can not hurt the baby. It's actually great exercise for pregnancy! And theres NO WAY IN HELL your pee pee can hurt, touch the baby during sex, if that's your worry.

  What about the pregnancy turns you off? Good luck.

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• Coltsdad member

  May 2013

  It is a concern for some men.  Some think, wrongly, that they'll hurt the baby, poke it in the head, etc.  Some view their wives as more fragile.  Some just don't find pregnancy attractive.  Granted, in the 1st trimester, if she's dealing with morning sickness that isn't exactly "hot" when she's throwing up or looks like she's about to at any given moment... but, she's carrying your child.

  As long as there is no medical reason for you to avoid having sex with her while pregnant, you should be good to go.  Anything beyond that is a mental hurdle that you have to deal with, and unfortunately, there is no one answer or statement that can make it click.
  

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• Wulfgar member

  May 2013

  For some men this is very normal.  I got my first experience when I was a lot younger and didn't know she was pregnant so when my wife was pregnant it wasn't too big of a deal.  The thing is to communicate between the two of you.  My wife and I did this during the pregnancy and if she was hurting or tired or what ever we would not have sex.  When she was up to it we would.
  

  
  
  
  

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• ABowen1 member

  May 2013

  Yes it is normal. I am not  a man but this is a normal reaction. If you are worried about hurting the baby then take it easy during sex. Also ask a male OBGYN, they can be very helpful to a first time dad. Don't feel bad, talk to her and explain how you feel. Congrats and all the best.

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• RaeAnt member

  May 2013

  Perfectly normal. You are going through a huge change as well while what has and is about to happen sinks in. Some fear...as mentioned by p.p. that Daddy may fear hurting the baby or mommy.  They may fear weirded out because there is a baby in there and you feel like you are having sex in front of or with the baby. you may feel self conscience in trying to  figure out positions,etc. Don't worry mama may have similar feelings sometimes because it's new to her,too. Just make sure you talk about it so there isn't any hurt feelings.

  Oh, and just something to think about, some women become incredibly horny when pregnant; others don't want it at all.

  HTH
  

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• flkong member

  May 2013

  While I do think it's normal for some men, it did put a strain on us. This is our 2nd. With the 1st, sex stopped at 4 months and like pp said, I was super horny towards the end of 2nd trimester but he didn't budge. I just felt it wasn't fair because of times I don't want to but did to satisfy him. This time around, we agreed that he would try and I would be more understanding. We did both. Just when I was getting horny and frustrated after playing the "I understand role", he gave it a try. His response was "wow, that's what I've been missing". It was only once, but enough to last me until after delivery if that's what he wants. 

                                 

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
   

                               

          

                                        
  

                                                                       

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• AianAndAirisTate

  May 2013

  yah man this is completely normal. Had it for my first kid, had it again for my 2nd one. And it's stupid and funny to think of it but i guarantee deep down inside it's something along the lines of you concerned about your penis being near the baby. And the fact that there's a human being growing in there. If you think about it along those lines, who wouldn't be a little freaked and hesitant to have sex. Best way to get over this man is look on it as a health, science perspective kinda thing. Firstly, your penis will no where near touch the baby or anything like that. Nor do you have to worry about hurting the baby by having sex. Yah i mean don't get freaky with it and throw one leg up in the air and all that stuff lol (my wife and I after 20 weeks after reading just did the position they recommend which is "doggy style" or "spooning" or whatever, laying on her left side which helps the baby and relieves pressure off her spine) But the more you have sex too - the easier the birth process will be. Helps her be able to push the baby out easier. But trust me you don't want to bottle it up, people been doing it in the BC times and people still turned out ok. Plus it's probably a thing that makes her feel a bit depressed like that her husband doesnt find her attractive or something.
  

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• davead23

  May 2013

  Same here, I felt a bit weird about sex too at first. I was worried about the baby a bit but mostly about my wife. Take it slow and easy and all should be fine. Most of all don't press the issue. If she's into it great, if not then now is certainly not a time for her to "take one for the team". Good luck!

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