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Working Moms
daisy662
member
Gut/maternal instinct
daisy662
member
in Working Moms
Have you ever had just a bad feeling about someone that you can't put your finger on? My MIL's new bf seems very odd to me. Just a little too friendly, a little too helpful... Also, my MIL and the bf are nudists and swingers. Not sure that is relevant, and I don't care what they do when I am not around but this adds to my concern around this guy. My MIL likes to watch my son somedays and we pull him out of dc. She is a teacher so has lots of time off... Now she brings the bf. i told dh that this is not ok with me, i dont want him here when i am not. my DH thinks I am overreacting though he agrees the guy is strange. his viewpoint is that his mom would never allow for our son to be harmed which i agree with but if she turns her back for a moment... My gf yesterday told me (completely 100% unsolicited) that she thinks he is creepy and watches him like a hawk when she and her daughter were here and so was he. Am I overreacting? I trust my MIL for the most part but she is the type that doesn't take my direction because she "raised 2 kids and knows what she is doing"...
So question is - do you go with your gut and risk your MIL being pissed which I am fine with. Or am I overreacting as I truly have no evidence that this guy is a creeper and am being an overprotective ftm?
give it to me straight! Thank you for your viewpoint, I am trying to not be crazy here...
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Gut/maternal instinct
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
my thought exactly.
Always go with your gut!! It's usually right.
Your gut is right!
I think you brought up so many reasons to leave DS at his daycare.
Also why do you know your MIL is a swinger? honestly that lack of appropriate boundaries would make me avoid her.
I can only iterate what everyone else has said - TRUST YOUR GUT! It's not the fact that he's a swinger and a nudist, because that doesn't make someone a pedophile, it's simply that you say "MIL's new bf seems very odd to me. Just a little too friendly, a little too helpful..." and that you can't put your finger on why you don't trust him. You don't need a reason. Your gut is telling you no and that's all you need.
My MIL in the sweetest woman in the world and has my kids' best interest in mind, but there's some safety things I don't trust her on, which is why I install the car seats in her car for her, for instance. If she had a boyfriend who gave me a funny feeling, the rule would be he can't be around my kids unless I'm there, if he's allowed to be around them at all.
Usually I say couples have to be on the same page, but I think this is serious enough that you state what the rule is whether your husband is on board or not.
Son #2 - October '11
Son #3 - Hoping to adopt from China some time in 2014!
Our adoption journey: Talkin' 'Bout the Next Generation
i could not agree with you more. I know way too much... Thank you all for your responses. I feel less crazy now. And for the record, my DH does not agree with their lifestyle either he just trusts his mom. This is one I am going to put my foot down on. Thank you again!
Always pay mind to that gut instinct...,I would leave LO in daycare and arrange for LO to see MIL only when we were around.
Have you tried googling this guy? Searched for him in the paper/police blotter? That's how I found out my neighbor is a prostitute.
But yes, go with your gut. Keep him away.
It is correct that we do not use my MIL for daycare. He goes to a center unless she decides she would like to watch him one day. It is not going to be easy to say no, but I am going to. I don't really care what she thinks of me because she isn't my favorite person anyway. But, my husband trusts her... I have already told him she is not to watch my son if the bf is with her. We'll see how this goes. She just posted on fb that they are "in a domestic partnership". For Goodness sake, for a 63 yr old woman, she has had no shortage of boyfriends over the years...
good idea on googling him. Trouble is his name is extremely common so it may be tough to find anything. Worth a shot! Thanks again everyone for the support. It is truly appreciated!