Ferber/sleep training and still letting LO nurse during the night?

dodgerfantobe · May 2013

My son is almost 8 months old and for various reasons I have been indulging him in a middle of the night feed or two for quite a while. But he's waking up way more often than necessary, and he isn't hungry each time anymore.

We did Ferber with my daughter, but only to address nighttime wakings, she was already able to fall asleep on her own. I currently hold him to sleep every time. I'd like to help him learn to fall asleep in the crib without my help. But I still think he will need to eat in the night once. Isn't it confusing for baby to make them self-soothe back to sleep at night sometimes and not at other times (when you think they are legitimately hungry)? Is anyone successfully and logically managing sleep training along with a MON feeding?

Kimberskirby · May 2013

I do. We decided to do Ferber when he was up like 7 times a night. Each time, I was nursing him back to sleep. He was waking just to comfort nurse. When we did Ferber, I just kind of decided that I would nurse him once, after 2. I actualy enjoy nursing once at night, and didnt feel like he should have to just drop it altogether. so when I get up to nurse him, I go in his room, pick him up, rock and nurse him. When he is done nursing, I pick him up so that his head is on my shoulder and I whisper "okay, mommy loves you...go back to sleep." Doing this wakes him just a little so that he knows he is going back in the crib. It only took him like 2 nights to just roll over and go to sleep. Honestly, it has been amazing how fast he learned, and how much more secure he is now with sleeping in his crib.

mamaHippo23 · May 2013

Yes, similar to what PP said, set a time limit. If he wakes up before or after his usual feeding time you can let him soothe himself back to sleep. When you do the feeding, just get in and out as quickly and quietly as possible, so he learns to just take care of business and go right back to sleep.

pb_bride · May 2013

The Ferber book has an entire chapter dedicated to MOTN wakings/feedings. If you have the book, you may want to review that chapter as it has suggestions for different circumstances.

When we did sleep training, DS was still getting up 1-2x/night to eat, then he weaned himself down to 1x/night. I weaned him off MOTN feeds at 5.5 months. He was waking up at random hours at night - some nights at 11p then STTN til the AM, while other nights at 3am and stayed up for another hour even though after nursing.

In any case, if you don't think your LO is hungry, it's best to send your DH in to do the soothing, and you should go in only when LO needs nursing. That way, it'll be less confusing for your LO.

Also, even though your LO gets hungry in the MOTN, according to Ferber, it is learned hunger out of habit of you feeding him MOTN. Ferber says it's okay to wean the MOTN feed by 5 months as long as you have a healthy, full-term baby; you're pushing the hungry time to the AM when he wakes up instead of happening MOTN.

My son sleeps so much better now, now that he doesn't get up to eat. He may wake up MOTN but he babbles/talks for a few minutes and goes back to sleep. As I said, he used to stay awake/wired for over an hour after his MOTN nursing sessions; as a result of that no one was getting quality sleep in the house back then.

JoNi2010 · May 2013

Like PP said, there is a good chapter on MOTN feedings. And Iike other PP, I've set a time limit - greater than 4 hours I will feed him. Most of the nights he will only awake once to feed, other times (if he is not teething) he will go to sleep on his own. I was concerned about the baby confusion initially too but it has worked out okay, and I don't mind waking up that once to feed him. I actually enjoy MOTN nursing when it's just once, and NOT multiple times, as he was doing before we Ferberized him. Of course, my LO is teething now so these nights recently have been bad but I hope after a couple more days, I can get him back to once a night! (Fingers crossed)

gnomemom · May 2013

I always nurse LO when he wakes in the MOTN. I justify it because I've been having supply issues, so I'm kind of glad to add a nursing session to the day. He is usually awake when I put him back in his crib, so I leave him to babble himself to sleep. You can still feed and just do Ferber afterwards. Ferber is only for when all of their other needs are met, and hunger certainly counts.

austenfan919 · May 2013

We didn't do Ferber, but a version of Sleep Lady Shuffle for going to bed. I set a time limit, like many pps said. If has been three hours since he ate last, I will nurse him.

Sometimes he only wakes up at those times, some nights he wakes up one time before the first feeding. I go in to make sure he can reach a paci and turn his glow worm back on and he almost always is asleep again in a few minutes.

I am hoping next week to work on dropping one MOTN feed, but I felt better doing sleep training knowing that I wasn't also leaving him hungry. I know people say babies of a certain age shouldn't be hungry at night anymore, but I just knew I would worry about it if I set a longer time limit or made him go all night at least when we started.

NoelBird · May 2013

We did Ferber and still 1 night time feeding. The timing of his feeding varies depending on the night, sometimes its 2 hours after he goes to sleep sometimes 6 hours. When he wakes up in the middle of the night I let him fuss/cry for a couple minutes and if it escalates I know he is actually hungry. If he isn't hungry then he will put himself back to sleep.

We tried to wean him from this feeding by letting him CIO but it went terribly. He does sometimes STTN but it is rare. I don't have any issues continuing to feed him 1x a night at this point.

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