Am I being unreasonable?
Hi ladies. This is my first post on this board. I have a feeling that my daughter will be an only child, and I am pleasantly surprised that I am OK with that! My husband, on the other hand, really would like another. I do think I have pretty good reasons for not having another:
1. My parents currently watch our daughter M-F and they have told me they probably can't handle another (my daughter is a handful). We would barely be able to afford day care for another.
2. Our finances are stretched right now with one child.
3. Our house is not really big enough for two children.
4. My husband works 2AM-10AM (I work "regular" hours) so I get myself and my daughter ready in the morning--I seriously don't know if I could handle a newborn in the morning as well.
5. I'm turning 36 this year. I'm exhausted. I don't really want to be pregnant at 38 or 39. I know lots of people do it, but I really don't want to.
Am I being unreasonable? We've gone over these points together, and he understands, but somehow thinks we can solve all of these problems in the next year or so! I told him I would certainly try, but I think he's delusional. 
I have a blog and it isn't about babies or motherhood or my life. It's just about eating, drinking, and traveling: Explore and Eat
Re: Am I being unreasonable?
This actually sounds completely reasonable and rationale. If you are not financially, emotionally, and physically ready for another child, then you should not have another child.
Continue to talk with your husband about these challenges and your desires--it's tough when you disagree, but if you are not ready for another child, it would not be fair to have one.
I WILL say that as DS gets older and easier on many levels, I have thought "huh- having another wouldn't be as hard".
But. it's still not compelling enough to actually have another.
(nevermind the list of other reasons we have for being OAD)
Your #4 and #5 are both factors for me too. I'm 43 and even just one is exhausting for me at time. I really do think about how much more exhausting and hard life would be w/ another child. And DH works a weird schedule which requires me to be "on" by myself a LOT of the time.
While I'm saying "it gets easier", I actually look into the future. DS himself is easier in that he's more independent. But "life" won't be easier. Juggling 2 school schedules, eventually 2 activity/ friend schedules, etc. When I think of how I'd have to do a lot of this on my own, while also working a FT job... it feels overwhelming.
Yes, people do it. but like you said - YOU don't want to. Neither do i! That's valid.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I can commiserate with a lot of what you just said! Especially the part about you working normal hours and your husband's hours being wonky.
You are the farthest thing from unreasonable. If you are questioning whether or not you could comfortably afford another child, I wouldn't do it.
Also, I'm 35. I have absolutely no desire to get pregnant again when I'm older. TOTALLY understand where you are coming from.
I have a blog and it isn't about babies or motherhood or my life. It's just about eating, drinking, and traveling: Explore and Eat
I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. What you just listed sounds almost identical to me:
-DS is in private pre-kindergarten- and I've been back to work for two years now, can't afford private school and a nanny for a newborn,
-our finances have no room for another child either
-our house is also not big enough for two children
-DH and I work regular hours vs. what you described
-I'm 39 and don't want to do pregnancy, birth, newborn, or mother two young children in my early 40s (or anytime really
.
This too! Forgot to say that in my initial response. Welcome!
Thank you!!
I have a blog and it isn't about babies or motherhood or my life. It's just about eating, drinking, and traveling: Explore and Eat
Burned by the Bear
There is nothing unreasonable about not wanting another child.
Even if your only reason was that you simply did not want one that is more than reasonable.
This is us right now. I love that we can both focus our time and energy on DS. We don't need to worry about running interference or splitting our time. I also agree with schedules down the road. I don't want to have to juggle 2 sports schedules, 2 kids at different friends homes, ect. Some days it's hard enough with one!
You are not being unreasonable at all! Welcome to OAD!!