Getting together w/friends & family

pb_bride · May 2013

When you have a get-together with family or friends, do you

1) go visit them w/your LOs

2) Invite them over to your place

3) pick a public place (eg restaurant) and meet there?

Now that M is 6m and I feel like we finally have things "under control," I want to see our friends and SIL more often. However, we don't get invitations often (probably b/c sil and most other friends don't have children). When we do, I feel like we're always rushing there and back due to M's nap window (2.5-3hrs). Moreover, b/c his nap schedule isn't set in stone, I have to tell the hosts that we can't give them a definite time we can arrive.

So to me, it feels much easier to just have people over. That way, M can nap whenever he wants, and our friends/family can stay for as long as they want too. BUT - when we host, I feel we should have them over for a meal (usually brunch or lunch), and that adds stress to me. We had friends over last w/e and SIL is coming this weekend, so basically I spend Sat prepping for food while DH cleans the house, then Sunday the company arrives. As much as I enjoy seeing them, it feels like the whole weekend is all about getting the house clean/food ready. Our friends/SIL don't usually offer to bring food, even if they do, I feel bad asking them to b/c we are supposedly the "hosts." And none of us are fans of take-out/delivery... I just think that I can cook food better and healthier than take-out.

I know I'm stressing over this for no good reason, and I should just relax and go with the flow. Just wondering what's your take on this?

mnj05 · May 2013

I'm probably not much help. We go out places, or to other's houses most of the time. The people we visit the most do not live near us, so we travel a lot. Even though, we go places around here whenever, we don't plan around H's schedule. Sometimes we'll wait until his next feeding to go so he'll nap on the way and for a bit while we're there, but he always wakes up and we just deal with it.

Instead of a full meal/brunch, could you do snacks that maybe won't take as much time to prepare? Maybe some fruit, veggies, cheeses or something simple like that? I also feel like when someone comes over, there needs to at least be the offer of something to snack on.

OceanBreeze1 · May 2013

I was the exact same way...and still am a bit, lol. My thing is I hate cooking, especially for others...so we will meet my parents somewhere for lunch or dinner a lot.

When dd was little I met friends at the mall so she could sleep in the stroller. Other than that if I had anyone over it was usually in the morning before lunch.

Sorry, I'm no help, just wanted to let you know you aren't alone! It gets easier when naps aren't so often.

Saraevh · May 2013

I'm probably not much help because we do a little bit of everything. When we are hosting something I do get a little stressed out and go overboard with the cleaning (my husband cooks) and it is very tiring, but I really enjoy having people over so for me it's not really that big of a deal .... AND it's really the only time our house gets a good "deep" clean so my husband loves it when we have people over and we try to do it frequently

We also take the kids to other people's houses a lot. It messes with nap and sometimes that can be tough, but we make it through the day and it's usually not so bad. My kids always fall asleep in the car so that usually is our saving grace.

We take the kids to restaurants all of the time so we're cool with doing that as well as long as it's not too close to bedtime. I prefer doing brunch or early lunch outings because then we get home in time to keep them on a schedule. If not a brunch/early lunch thing an early dinner usually works out best and usually friends and family are pretty understanding when it comes to the whole, "we want to be home by 7pm" thing.

ELF4321 · May 2013

My advice is: lower your expectations! If you want to have people over but don't have time to cook, get takeout or delivery. So what if your cooking would be better? Nobody will complain about takeout once in awhile. It should be about spending time together, not about the food!

And as for trying to plan around nap time or bedtime, it won't be the end of the world if your LO gets off schedule one day . Sure, there might be some fussing or even screaming if things get bad, but then you excuse yourselves and leave early. The sooner you get your LO used to being flexible and going out, the better.

I have a sensitive bad sleeper and basically never did anything until she was 7 or 8 months because I was so worried about messing up her sleep. In hindsight, I realize that I missed out on a lot of stuff for no good reason.

TJ1979 · May 2013

We do all of the above. Most I our friends live an hour away so we plan it where she naps on the way there and on the way back. E is really good at restaurants but like PP, we have to do them a little earlier.
When we have people over I've learned to lower my standards. I clean the best I can, MH cooks the main dish. Apps and desserts have gone from something special to easy stuff like dips and cupcakes.
We try to just go with the flow and just do the best we can. But then again MH is jusbot a routine kind of person.

Mrs.AmyDylan · May 2013

Honestly, I try to invite people over. I'm really casual about cleaning and food. Half the time hubs grills up burgers. I try to keep my house 15 min from clean - meaning I could tear around and get it presentable in 15 min. I'm probably not much help.

Can you try crock potting? It is super easy and a lot less mess and effort. I would take people up on bringing something? I usually suggest something easy like salad or dessert ( only if they offer!). Are there corners you can cut to make your entertaining less of a chore? Like getting Pre-made kebabs from the deli? A housekeeper once a month and entertain the weekend after she visited?

pb_bride · May 2013

I appreciated all your replies and suggestions! Yes, I should lower my expectations and try to relax and enjoy the company instead of fretting over it. Though I DO LOVE a clean house, LOL, and that's the benefit of having people over. I will accept others' offer of bringing food over in the future.

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