Anyone skip doing a registry with baby #1?

RedLucia · May 2013

I am having a co-ed BaByQ instead of a baby shower. I am thinking about not doing a registry and asking for "no gifts."

I feel like as soon as I decide I need something, I may as well buy it. That way I'll have exactly what I need and I won't have to spend hours setting up a registry or writing thank you cards.

Also, I have already received 6 bags of 0-12M cloths and 3 bags of toys as hand-me-downs. In both cases, there were items that still had tags on them, because my friends had received them as gifts. I don't really want a lot more stuff.

Did you skip the registry OR are you planing to skip the registry? Did you regret it? Did it work out alright?

My girlfriend who is helping me with the BaByQ says people will still bring gifts and I will end up with a bunch of stuff I don't want.

iLoveChocolateMilk5150 · May 2013

skipped with #1; did it with #2 although people completely ignored what I put on the registry and got what they thought I needed making the registry process a waste of time.

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irishgirl0525 · May 2013

Personally, I think if you are doing any kind of gathering that has to do with the baby, before or after the birth, it's inviting people to bring gifts. If you don't want gifts, why are you doing the party? If you have any kind of event to celebrate the impending arrival of a baby, people will bring some sort of gift, and it's very nice of them to do so, even if not necessary and very likely it will be something you don't want or need. Or maybe you will need it and you didn't realize it. But it was nice of them to think of you and your husband and the baby, so I wouldn't get too wrapped up in "I don't need this or want this".

I am also not a fan of referencing gifts in any way in an invitation (whether it's a registry or telling people not to bring them), but even if you say don't bring gifts, people still will. Also, since you are concerned about people not getting things that you need, then do a registry for the sole purpose of putting specifically items that you think you want or need. If someone searches it out, great, then you get something that you have selected. If someone asks you about a registry, you can take that moment to say, "oh, we are not asking for any gifts", and if they insist, you can direct them to that registry.

Abeille · May 2013

I'd also expect some people to bring gifts no matter what. It's really up to you if you have registry or not. I have an Amazon one this time just to help keep me organized but I'm not having a shower.

Also I don't really see what's different between a co-ed BaByQ and a co-ed shower? Just the no gifts? I think as a guest at a celebration for a new baby I'd bring a gift regardless, but that's just me.

I had a co-ed shower for my 1st and it was a lot of fun. We registered at a couple of places....some people went by the registry, others didn't. Also I went to a shower recently where the MTB registered at Target and the registry didn't update properly after purchases were made....she ended up with about 8 sets of the same hooded towels. So having a registry does not gaurantee much of anything anyway.

synergy_gd · May 2013

Love the babyQ idea. I'd go for it and just put no gifts please.
I don't like gift registries full stop, I think it's presumptuous to pick things out and expect others to buy them. And I REALLY don't understand people who think any baby celebration is all about getting gifts! It's about celebrating a new little life and getting together with family and friends.
There's been a bit of a debate going on the dec 2013 board about this and I find it so sad. So many people's first thought seems to be that having a celebration is all about getting free stuff. They say no one should have a baby party unless others are hosting it.
Screw that. Do what you want to do I say. We're not all gen y gift grabbers.

Guennie · May 2013

I have been quiet but I am offended by that last comment. I don't think it was fair to slam people for doing a registry. We are doing one because after all we have been through our family and friends really want to give us gifts and they would like to get things we need. Quite honestly it will help in our current financial situation, so we are very appreciative. If someone chooses to get something not on the registry we will still be thankful. If someone chooses not to send a gift we are just as appreciative for a heartfelt congratulations. I really don't think it was fair to judge and label people so rudely just because they are doing a registry. Maybe you could give that some thought before making such comments in the future. You have a right to your opinion on the matter but you have slammed an entire group of people when you don't even know their story.

Guennie · May 2013

Maybe I took it wrong...I do agree that the celebration is not about getting gifts...but that last comment just rubbed me the wrong way.

Jacque Sills · May 2013

The baby library is a good idea or better yet, don't have a party at all...and, then you don't have to go through any trouble of sending out any, 'Thank you' cards, or the hassle of returning any non desirable gifts.

Best of luck.

cyndilouwho77 · May 2013

People are going to buy you stuff regardless, esp since you are throwing a babyQ. I think its smarter to go ahead a do a small registry of may just some things you know you will need anyways....most people we ask around where your registry is so you don't even need to put that in your invite.

RedLucia · May 2013

For us, having a BaByQ is a chance for friends to get together at our place and see the nursery and us (well mostly me with a super big belly) before the baby comes. We will have some baby themed games, but we aren't doing this for the gifts.

However, I love the idea of "build babies library"...and as long as some people will really want to give gifts, I could put together that type of registry. I have not bought many books and I was thinking about getting a book shelf that matches the nursery furniture.

Thanks everyone for sharing your diverse views on this!

2MamazInSeattle · May 2013

Lurking.

The best baby shower I went to was a "book shower" for a 40 yr old mom...the books were a mix of more current ones from her mom friends, and a bunch of retro kids books that were the childhood favorites of us nonmoms. It was eclectic and really fun! Plus hers was an oops pregnancy so she was admittedly way outta the loop on kids things, but had plenty of money to get the usual baby stuff.

kaneohekoala · May 2013

I've skimmed all the comments related to this question as well. My husband and I are pregnant with baby #1 but I'll be 40 when she's born and he just turned 50. Because we live in a different state than our families and moved not that long ago, many of our close friends are not local. We are not planning to do a registry though I definitely think it is perfectly acceptable if people want to do one. I love the idea though of a book shower or building baby's registry. We've already bought most of the big stuff (minus stroller, car seat and a pack and play) but we plan to get this stuff. I think if anyone does end up asking us for ideas because they WANT to get something, I might suggest more baby/children's books (though we have a bunch from a close friend whose children have outgrown them). We want her to grow up with a love of books and plan to read to her daily so why not have more to choose from. So...we do plan to skip a registry but if people are insistent in wanting to get us something I'm going to suggest books. We're already getting some clothes from family and I'm concerned we'll end up with too much newborne clothing.

ocho2002 · May 2013

If you are having any kind of baby party and this is your first, do your guests and yourself a favor and register. They will be annoyed if you don't and you will have stuff you don't want/need.

Anyone skip doing a registry with baby #1?

Re: Anyone skip doing a registry with baby #1?

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