WWYD? (kinda long)

kerrigrooves · May 2013

my fiend is having a baby in Oct. and she hosted my shower at her house and I offered to host her shower this summer. She accepted and has another friend who is going to co-host with me

There are a few things going on:

1 - Im trying to move soon and we're not sure when but it could be this summer so I dont want to have it at my house in case we move. The mom-2-b offered to have it at her own house in her backyard...does that seem weird? would you be ok with that?

2 - the mom-2-b is toying with the idea of having a couples shower, I think its a terrible idea...most guys loathe that stuff and it doubles the amount of people which could get hectic since she's probably going to invite like 30 ppl. Do I tell her my opinion?

3 - the mom-2-b is insisting on paying for food and booze and I am totally against this. But I also cant afford to pay for everything if she has a couples party...do I let her help?

gnomemom · May 2013

1. As long as the invites indicate who is hosting, I don't think it's a big deal if you have the shower at the MTB's house.

2. Co-ed showers are NMS, but if everyone is on board with the idea, I think there's nothing wrong with it. I agree w/ PP that a backyard BBQ sounds like fun. Is she suggesting this partly because she doesn't like the traditional games and stuff that go along with a typical baby shower? I would ask her how she feels about this. Also, I would make sure the party doesn't get so laid back and completely lacking structure that she neglects to open her gifts at the party. I think that is definitely rude to the guests who bring something.

3. I think the host should pay. But if she wants the bigger party than you are prepared to throw, I'd make it clear to her what you can provide. If she insists on paying for some refreshments and it's going to be at her house, I'd probably give in and let her, but still try to throw the most amazing party I could on my budget.

You will get some different opinions about # 3 in particular if you post this on the Baby Shower board. Yes, a shower is a gift and she should appreciate whatever you can provide for her, but I don't see that much harm in letting her help if she wants. I'm sure others will disagree, but at the end of the day if both of you are happy, then that's what matters. The guests don't need to know who provided what. If you are the host, a reasonable person would assume you provided it, so no one needs to clutch their pearls about the MTB helping out.

SurpriseAt39 · May 2013

1. I would have preferred to have my shower at my house. I wouldn't have had to load up the car and try to get everything in it. We were gifted the stroller, highchair, crib and mattress for our first, as well as all sorts of clothes etc.

2. You are hosting, so you determine what you can afford. If it doesn't include booze, it doesn't include booze. Honestly, until this baby, I had never had alcohol of any kind at a baby shower I had been to. Pop, water and punch were the only options. As for a couples theme... Most guys I know wouldn't come to a 'shower'. They'd come to a BBQ, but then there may be less 'showering' of the MTB.

3. No, MTB shouldn't pay for her shower.

shella923 · May 2013

SurpriseAt39:
1. I would have preferred to have my shower at my house. I wouldn't have had to load up the car and try to get everything in it. We were gifted the stroller, highchair, crib and mattress for our first, as well as all sorts of clothes etc.nbsp;2. You are hosting, so you determine what you can afford. nbsp;If it doesn't include booze, it doesn't include booze. Honestly, until this baby, I had never had alcohol of any kind at a baby shower I had been to. Pop, water and punch were the only options. nbsp; As for a couples theme... Most guys I know wouldn't come to a 'shower'. They'd come to a BBQ, but then there may be less 'showering' of the MTB. 3. No, MTB shouldn't pay for her shower. nbsp;

WSS. And we had my sisters shower at her house and it was fine. Getting all my gifts home from the restaurant was a major PITA!

ExcitedMum2B · May 2013

1 - Lugging things home was a nightmare. Half the showers I've been to were at the MTB house, the invitation makes it clear who the host is.

2 - I had a co-ed shower, only half the husbands/dads came. They hung out in the kitchen and talked sports. We didn't have games or anything overly showery, which was perfect for me.

3 - No, the MTB doesn't pitch in. Let her know what you can afford, or talk it out with the co-host and maybe between the two of you it will be affordable. But don't let her pay or bring anything.

LuckyMissus · May 2013

1. Hosting at MTB's house is NBD. Just make sure you indicate on the invites "hosted by KSherwood & friend at MTB's home."

2. I'm anti on Co-ed showers. But, ditto what MandJS said about how you're the one throwing the shower. So you just have to tell her the deal. It's really two separate issues, 1. the number of guests, which as the hostesses you absolutely get to set, and 2. who the guests are. I think the guest of honor should get to invite whomever she pleases within the number of guests the hosts are ok with. So, if she really wants to invite couples, then I think you just have to roll with it and make it as painless as possible for the guys. =0 But if it were me, I'd have a conversation with her about how what you're planning isn't geared for couples, and it will be much more fun for everyone if it's just the ladies.

3. Under no circumstances should the MTB pay for anything. (FFFC: I bought some gourmet cookies that I love and packaged them with a "thanks for coming" tag for my shower bc I knew my hostesses weren't doing a favor. So, there you go.)