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Attachment issues? Long

chardonnay24chardonnay24 member
in Special Needs

For mobile: Attachment issues?

Today we met with a behavioral therapist who specializes in behavioral issues with young children. This person was recommended to me by our pediatrician because we've been struggling a lot with discipline, or rather, our son's response to discipline.

Some background: He is 27 months old and has been a challenging child from about 12 months. He was a very easy going baby, active, curious, happy, never wanted to be held, met physical milestones very early. I struggled a lot with keeping him engaged from 12 - 18 months. He was easily bored, persistent, not easily distractable, and didn't listen well. At his 18 month well visit, the pediatrician asked about communication and I mentioned that he didn't respond to our requests. We were referred to an audiologist for a hearing test and he did well, so we were then referred to a speech therapist and developmental pediatrician. I also made an appointment with EI. He had a speech delay (most receptive but also expressive to some extent) and sensory issues. We began meeting with an OT and SLP once a week through EI. He has made significant progress in speech but we still struggle with sensory issues.

Recently, we've been struggling with just about every behavior problem imaginable. He is aggressive to other kids (older and younger) and adults. He is destructive, especially when angry. He doesn't easily put himself to sleep (or allow himself to be soothed to sleep). We have tried everything from timeout to removing him from situations where he has undesirable behaviors to natural consequences to positive discipline and nothing works. He doesn't seem to comprehend consequences of any kind, even pain. He's been in the ER from injuries that he sustained from jumping off things (the couch, the slide, etc) and it doesn't stop him from doing those things again the minute he can. He gets upset if we take away a toy (if he throws it, for example) but it doesn't stop the behavior - he'll just find something else to throw. If he hits and we send him to timeout or leave the situation, he just thinks it's a game. He doesn't take us (or anyone seriously). I am beyond frustrated and overwhelmed.

Today, the therapist said it sounds like he has some attachment issues. She asked if he was adopted, if we had any significant separation, and if he gets enough attention at home. I am completely shocked because I could not possibly give him more attention. I spend my entire day trying to keep him engaged because we run into these problems the most when he is bored. I am quick to praise any good behavior and show affection as often as I can. A quick Google search of "attachment disorder" shows that it occurs in children that have been neglected or abused. So now I'm not only concerned with the fact that he has attachment issues, but what caused them, and what will happen in the future.

Any insight or similar experiences?

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Re: Attachment issues? Long

  • chardonnay24chardonnay24 member
    imageUsm123:
    So sorry your dealing with all of this! I have no experience with attachment issues but I am a social worker and learned extensively about it in grad school. Therapist tends to let a school of thought lead their practice. Do you know her background? Is Attachment her niche? When you are very educated in something you sometimes see it even if it is not the driving force. While the behaviors could be linked to attachment issues, there are many other things it could be. Did she try to find the catalyst for the attachment issues? Try not to be discouraged. She may not be the right fit for your family.
    She specializes in kids with ASD, sensory integration issues, behavioral issues, and attachment. Maybe she focuses on the attachment more than anything, I'm not sure. We have only had the initial consultation. She said she wants to observe our interactions with him before actually starting therapy, so we're going to go back in for a viedotaped play session before we go any further.
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  • chardonnay24chardonnay24 member
    image-auntie-:

    The previous poster made a good point.

    I know a number of families with kids on spectrum who were told their child had RAD before getting the proper ASD dx.

    We've seen a developmental pedi and while he has mentioned ASD, nothing has been diagnosed. Where should I go from here? Back to our regular pedi for a referral to another developmental pedi? We don't see our regular DP until October.

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  • butterflygroovesbutterflygrooves member

    We have an almost 3 year old who has been with us since she was 18 months, she suffered severe neglect and trauma with her bio family and now has attachment issues related to primary caregivers.  We don't have a formal dx for her attachment issues but she does have PTSD and anxiety dx's along with her encephalopathy and CP.

    We did PCIT with Mental Health, it's a wonderful program that helps to give the child confidence and security while giving the parent good discipline tactics and teaching the child that there are consequences for negative behavior.  The program is geared more toward children who are out of control but it worked well for giving Owl the confidence she so badly needed, we did the first half of the program (the confidence building part) and are discussing doing the second half now that we have some behavioral problems.  We did this program for free through a local community resource.

    Feel free to contact me if you have any questions!

    Two Mommies Healing Hearts

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