Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
vlcoley
member
Re: Tell me about raising a family in Phoenix - might be relocating to the area
The heat is bad, but honestly- you get used to it. Currently, we live in Tucson, but are moving to Phoenix next month. We bought a home in the Roosevelt historic district because we like the walkability of the area. If you are interested in "suburbs" as you stated, I know a lot of families live in Mesa, Chandler, and Gilbert. Not sure what you're looking for there.
We will also be sending our kids to private schools.
Arizona native here! I've lived in Northern AZ & the East Valley. I will say this depending on where you are in the state the weather can be VERY different. The heat is bad but you're right I find myself spending enough time inside in the AC that it's not too bad.
As far as schools go Kyrene/Ahwatukee district is supposed to be very good. Gilbert, Chandler & Tempe aren't bad either. Surprisingly I've heard good stuff about some schools out in Gold Canyon/Apache Junction area too.
We were looking at houses this year too but unfortunately had to use a big portion of our down on a car instead this year. I myself prefer the East side. Prices are still really good so it's still considered a buyers market but it is turning around. Mesa is a little bit rough right now but prices are really good. Lots of older houses & some of the bigger yards. More retirement communities & fewer HOA's. Tempe, Chandler, Scottsdale, and Gilbert are good areas but the yards seem smaller and more HOA's (good thing or bad thing depending on what you are looking for). Queen Creek, Maricopa, and San Tan Valley have really nice new houses for really cheap but they are a big drive.
I've never heard anyone say people aren't friendly out here. I suppose it's like most places where it's just a matter of putting yourself out there & meeting people. Seems like there are plenty of things to do for families if you know where to look. I LOVE my zoo membership (during the right season). We have a pretty good zoo & they usually have something going on. I know of a weekly classic car show out in Scottsdale that my family loves to go to as well. Sea Life Arizona at Mills mall is pretty neat & if you are into that sort of thing the big Bass Pro Shop in Mesa has kids programs almost weekly that my little boy loves. Mom's groups in your area would be a great place to start when you know where you're going to be.
Hey!
AZ is very different from NY but as everyone says you will adjust. The heat can be hard but everywhere has the AC cranked up and there are pools everywhere! So the only bad part is getting in your car when it is 115 out because your car is like 140! So park in the shade and keep your windows cracked. Other than that I love AZ!
As for what city etc, it depends what you are looking for, schools, people, houses all depend on where you are at. Unlike some places all of our cities connect. So unless you are familiar with the area you never know when you are in Phoenix vs. Scottsdale etc.. Like many other states/cities there are good parts and bad parts of each city. If you would like to PM me and ask questions I will get real and answer seriously, BUT in an effort not to offend anyone or piss off anyone I will not get to in depth here.
Here is a fun website I used when picking out the neighborhood I currently live in.
Again I welcome a PM 
https://www.neighborhoodscout.com/