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Need a guys input

MommyP26MommyP26 member
in Dads & Dads-to-be
Hello , I had my baby boy about 51/2 weeks ago and me an the Dh have had sex around 4x now , well last night we had sex and he finished but about an hour later he wanted it again , but I told him no because I was feeling very uncomfortable in my lady parts area and that I didn't want to , and that maybe again in the morning . Well he starts begging so I give in and after him flipping me in a couple different posisitions he finally tells me to get on my knees and that's where I drawed the line and said hell no ! So he says yes I say no ect, and finally he lays down all angry with me . So this morning he ignored me and he left for a business trip and now I'm just like feeling guilty but at the same time trying to justify myself , and really I just dont know whether to apologize or stick to my guns??? We've been together for 21/2 years and married for 1 year.
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Re: Need a guys input

  • futant462futant462 member

    I feel like we've had a lot of these types of posts lately...

    Anyways, I don't think you need to ask us whether you have a right to refuse sexual advances.  The answer is pretty obvious.  He already got off, I don't see why he felt the need to push you into doing more than that.  Don't apologize. 

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  • BkuhmanBkuhman member
    Heck no, I wouldn't apologize. I wouldn't have even given in. He finished. Having sex during pregnancy and or after it can be painful. I wouldn't apologize for letting him finish and then giving in. He should.
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  • ColtsdadColtsdad member
    Stick to your guns.  Married or not, you have the right to say no.  Most doctors typically say no sex until 6 weeks anyways, so you probably shouldn't have done it 4 times by 5 1/2 weeks in the first place, unless you were cleared by your doctor.
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  • MommyP26MommyP26 member
    imageColtsdad:
    Stick to your guns.nbsp; Married or not, you have the right to say no.nbsp; Most doctors typically say no sex until 6 weeks anyways, so you probably shouldn't have done it 4 times by 5 1/2 weeks in the first place, unless you were cleared by your doctor.


    Yeah I know I haven't been to my 6 week check up I just gave in cause he wanted it , and its not like he's not getting absolutely anything . I mean sex is really the only thing keeping our relationship afloat right about now , he goes to counseling and has told me he doesn't love me any more but I'm just such a strong believer in family and I really don't believe in divorce unless there's infedelity . I guess I'm just trying so hard to make him love me again , but its hard to be how I was with 2 babies in diapers under my belt , it's just stressful and I just don't know what to do ! I feel like ripping my damn hair out and screaming "WHY?!?!!?"
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  • WulfgarWulfgar member

    Communicate, Communicate, Communicate.  My wife and I will talk to each other and if she doesn't feel like it she allows me to self satisfy. 

    As for after having our LO, she had a fourth degree tear that took an hour to sew up so I didn't push her at all until she was ready.

    I can kind of see his point since he was going out of town for a while but he should still respect you when you say no.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker


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  • Rmccaw13Rmccaw13 member
    I feel for the woman who's partners hound them for sex. I am 71/2 months and bless my husband I won the penis lottery. It not a matter of not wanting to have sex. I was the one pre pregnancy who had the high sex drive. I think you just prioritize and when you don't feel up to having sex as a pregnant woman it can be uncomfortable. It takes me 20 mins to crawl into bed and nest my pillows just right and get the sheets where they need to be. Let alone be treated as a sex toy and tossed around. I agree with the above post communication is key. This is the most intimate time for a couple and it has nothing to do with bumping uglies. Like my husband says it takes two of us and he knows how much work it takes for us to incubate and grow a baby and he thinks that is very prescious.
    Communicate you wants, needs and expectations with him .
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