Single Parents

Single mommytobe

Hello, everyone. I'm Katie. Due in November and doing it all alone. It was too much responsibility for the father, he took off to party. However I have the better end of the deal.
I'd like to talk to other moms going through the same thing. Loneliest period of time I've ever experienced.

Re: Single mommytobe

  • While I was pregnant, I took myself out for lunch about once a week and spent a lot of time with friends and family. Now that my baby is here, I'm staying with my parents until I can get back on my feet... my job doesn't pay very well and I can't support myself and my son on my own with what I make now. My parents help me out by babysitting when I have work, and I help with household bills and chores. 

    I left my son's father when I was about 19 weeks along, had a few nasty phone conversations with him between then and the birth of my son, and haven't heard from him at all since the day DS was born. I'm working with the state on getting child support started, as well as looking for a better job so that I can move out of my parents' house and live on my own with DS.

     My advice to you would be to turn to your family and friends who are willing to be supportive and help you, and just focus on staying healthy and enjoying your pregnancy as much as you can. You need to be at your best for your baby, and that's all that really matters. Just focus on the good and try not to let the bad get you down. 

    AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers
    photo 9df49095-cf0f-4192-a338-7695f445291a_zps876ddeb4.jpg
  • It gets better.

    My advice to you would to think very hard and carefully about wether it's worth it or not to get child support and have to share your child with someone who isn't a good fit for a dad. You should check into abandonment laws in your state and by all means DO NOT contact the father. If he wants to contact you then you need to leave that up to him. Trying to get a hold of him will just hurt your chances of getting anywhere if you decide to take a legal route.

    Stick close to your family too. I moved back in with my parents because it sucked being alone. Now I think I'll live here forever! Just kidding though.

    Try to focus on yourself and your baby and not worry about anyone else.
  • Loading the player...
  • My BD ran off with his tail between his legs too when he found out I was pregnant.  Trust me, as time goes by, all you will think about is your baby and how wonderful (s)he will be when (s)he gets here.  I stopped focusing on BD when I started feeling my daughter moving.  She's a little acrobat in there.  I'm not at all concerned about him, I have made all the decisions about her name, her doctor, how to raise her, I don't have to compromise with anyone.  Not even his nagging mother who insists on being in my baby's life (she actually tried to convince me to change the name I chose to a name she chose and I told her, "even if your son was involved, this still wouldn't be your decision.").  It may be lonely at first, but he's the one missing out and in time he will regret it.  But you will move on, maybe find someone who is a thousand times better than the douchebag who walked away. Keep your head up.

     Much love <3 

    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers
  • I really appreciate all of your responses. When he left I gave up the new home we had just moved into and also moved in with my family. He had just convinced me to resign from my job to take care of being pregnant because I've miscarried before. He took every bit of money and disappeared, so I had no choice. I'm glad I came home, though, because my family has helped me so much in getting used to this little miracle.

    I have thought about it, and child support really isn't worth it. I'm scared to death when it comes to our divorce because I don't know how to go about it. There's no way I can allow little peanut around him or his family. The family thing I put my foot down about even when we were together I have a lot of people on my side about getting full legal and physical custody of the baby. I wish he'd make it easy on me and sign his rights away, but unfortunately he's the stubborn type who does things just to prove a point.

    I feel really selfish saying I feel so alone when I have this baby growing inside my belly, I just wish I still had someone to lay down with at night and talk about the future of our baby.
    My mom keeps telling me, "now is when you'll meet a man worth something, because they'll be in a relationship with you AND your child."
  • imageKtkent27:
    I really appreciate all of your responses. When he left I gave up the new home we had just moved into and also moved in with my family. He had just convinced me to resign from my job to take care of being pregnant because I've miscarried before. He took every bit of money and disappeared, so I had no choice. I'm glad I came home, though, because my family has helped me so much in getting used to this little miracle.

    I have thought about it, and child support really isn't worth it. I'm scared to death when it comes to our divorce because I don't know how to go about it. There's no way I can allow little peanut around him or his family. The family thing I put my foot down about even when we were together I have a lot of people on my side about getting full legal and physical custody of the baby. I wish he'd make it easy on me and sign his rights away, but unfortunately he's the stubborn type who does things just to prove a point.

    I feel really selfish saying I feel so alone when I have this baby growing inside my belly, I just wish I still had someone to lay down with at night and talk about the future of our baby.
    My mom keeps telling me, "now is when you'll meet a man worth something, because they'll be in a relationship with you AND your child."


    Family really is the best support system around!

    As far as custody goes, meet with a lawyer and see what the abandonment laws in your state are. I know here if the father doesn't make any attempt to contact you or check on the welfare of his child for a certain amount of time the mother gets full custody and is still granted child support. It sucks because you have to be super diligent about keeping a calendar or journal or something and saying if you've heard from him at all every single day but, in my opinion it's so worth it! If you do hear from him and he has nasty things to say about you or the baby make sure you record that too! Save every text message, every Facebook message, every voicemail, just saw everything!

    I feel alone sometimes too. It's supposed to be a happy time and you have no one to intimately share that with. I've been very closed off about it because it hurts and in doing that I've really hurt my mother's feelings because she wants to be included and be a part of it. So just make sure you're not pushing away the people that do love an care for you and your baby. It really is ok to be sad!

    You'll meet the right guy, all of us will! And it will be even more special because you'll know if he's the one or not even sooner than you would normally because of your baby. Everything will work out in the long run!
  • Hi! I'm also a single mommytobe due in September! It's also the loneliest time in my life too. Her father made it VERY clear where he stood and that he doesn't want anything to do with our daughter at all. I'm so happy to hear that you have family at least that will love you and support you. I really wish i had the same...my family blames me alone for my situation..so I'm alone in this pregnancy as alone can get! I feel where you're coming from, I really, really do. You can always PM message me if you want, I would love to chat with you! Sometimes it can be nice to have a hearing ear.
    Liliana Seraphina born 9/5/2103


  • I'd love to, if I could figure out how!
  • L RosL Ros member
    Omg Im so glad you posted this!!! Idk if today has just been a hormonal day or what, but I just feel completely alone. BF and I broke up a could weeks before we found out. Id love to connect with some of you ladies stuck in this situation too as Im due in December!
  • L RosL Ros member
    How do you private message someone???
  • That is something I'm curious about too. LOL, I'm not exactly technically inclined... 
    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers
  • It's definitely hard, and I'd love to connect with the same people in my position.
  • Hi Katie, I"m also due in November. Not sure if you're on the November board but it's pretty light hearted and focused on the baby and pregnancy more than the trials of single-hood which can get exhausting. There are a few other single moms on there but a fair about of DH-ing.

     

    I was not "with" the BD, but he has cut off all contact and I'm a little lonely too. Try to surround yourself with supportive family and friends and keep busy focused on baby, not BD.

    hugs. 

     


  • I sent you a private message Katie! I just hit "contact" left click on the bottom of your post and then clicked on "private message" that's how you send someone a message, so check your messages please!
    Liliana Seraphina born 9/5/2103


  • CoIvieCoIvie member
    Due in November and no reply from the "father". It bothers me only because I didn't do it alone and we born had our fathers in our lives so your kid deserves the same. Everyone is saying he'll come around..I'm the only one that has no faith in him
  • imageCoIvie:
    Due in November and no reply from the "father". It bothers me only because I didn't do it alone and we born had our fathers in our lives so your kid deserves the same. Everyone is saying he'll come around..I'm the only one that has no faith in him

    honestly..I'm not sure how much faith I would put into him "coming around" either..I mean he might, there is always that possibility but he very well may not either. People told me the same exact thing "he'll come around" and I had false hope for a long, long time that he would and it left me so dissapointed. so in theory he could, but he probably won't. I don't like how people always make it seem better than what it is though (i'm not trying to be rude or mean, just telling you what I'm going through since we're both in the same boat)

    Liliana Seraphina born 9/5/2103


  • Yep, still don't see it. But Im trying! Bear with me. 
  • I sent a private message back to you! Ha.
  • CoIvieCoIvie member
    imageinthelost:

    imageCoIvie:
    Due in November and no reply from the "father". It bothers me only because I didn't do it alone and we born had our fathers in our lives so your kid deserves the same. Everyone is saying he'll come around..I'm the only one that has no faith in him

    honestly..I'm not sure how much faith I would put into him "coming around" either..I mean he might, there is always that possibility but he very well may not either. People told me the same exact thing "he'll come around" and I had false hope for a long, long time that he would and it left me so dissapointed. so in theory he could, but he probably won't. I don't like how people always make it seem better than what it is though (i'm not trying to be rude or mean, just telling you what I'm going through since we're both in the same boat)



    Didn't take it in a rude or mean way at all because I know EXACTLY what you mean. Smh
  • imageKtkent27:
    I sent a private message back to you! Ha.

    and I replied!

    Liliana Seraphina born 9/5/2103


This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"