People Are Asking Questions...

megbpoff · May 2013

So, I've been pretty tight lipped about my pregnancy because of my miscarriage last year. I'm not wanting to tell people until I'm safely out of the first trimester... but I'm thinking this kiddo has other ideas.

I'm only 10.5 weeks but I'm already showing! I went to my friend's doctoral graduation this past Sunday and his family was asking me questions about my if my DH and I had children. I told them, "not yet... we're working on it!" Then they asked questions to my friend, which caused me to admit that I was PG....

I guess I have two concerns... If I'm showing this early, what the dump will I look like at week 37??? Second concern, should I just tell people even if I don't want to, just because I'm showing???

I'm blessed to have this conflict considering... but I really wanted to wait after my first trimester!

malamutemommy · May 2013

It might just be bloat, but if you are showing, don't be pressured into telling people. Just say you've been gaining some weight, or have been retaining water, or have a beer belly or something. But really, you don't have to say anything at all. You're not required to answer, and if it bothers you people are asking, just say to them that you really don't appreciate all the questions about your body, or that they're being rude.

swirl25 · May 2013

I am having a similar issue...I want to wait till after the NT scan to tell everyone [though immediate family and close friends know]. Not for any particular reason, but I just wanted to wait. Well, I definitely have an obvious little bump at 10w. A couple people have already guessed, so I just fessed up to anyone who figured it out and asked outright, and will continue to keep it to myself with those who are not as observant. It's not so early on anymore that I feel the need to lie, and we have had a couple of u/s showing everything is all good. Only 2 weeks to go anyway!

natleilynn · May 2013

I've been wearing a lot of sundresses lately. It's harder for people to tell what's going on with my belly, plus it's just starting to get warm out so it's not "unusual." Most people at work don't know about my miscarriage, but I think they're smart enough not to ask a woman if she's getting fat or pregnant!

MelAnnDi · May 2013

Just say "You think I'm fat!?"

glitterface · May 2013

Don't tell people until you're ready. I never understand why people think it's okay to ask a woman if she is pregnant. I've been asked numerous times over the years because I lost a lot of weight and have some excess skin in my mid-section.

They are being rude by asking, so it's okay to make them feel like a jerk. I always say something like: Nope, just fat. Thanks for asking. Or my other standard: No, but I guess this shirt is going in the trash when I get home.

Ashley&DerekElliott · May 2013

I'm only 9 weeks in and I am noticing a little "pot" belly! I'm assuming it's just bloating, and I've just been wearing looser shirts. I have a hard time not telling people because I am so excited about it. But we are trying to keep quiet until our 12 week mark. We are having a little BBQ / party and will announce it to all our friends then!

However, I think my friends are already suspicious since I am no longer drinking. (I have been drink "vodka" (I filled a bottle of vodka with water) and cranberry juice.. but I can only drink so much watered down cranberry juice in once sitting!) HAHA

I also had a girl that barely knows me ask me if I was pregnant weeks ago (I would have only been 7 weeks). She said she could tell by the twinkle in my eye... weird. I am looking forward to telling her just to find out really how she knew!!

golfingdarwinfish · May 2013

megbpoff:
So, I've been pretty tight lipped about my pregnancy because of my miscarriage last year. I'm not wanting to tell people until I'm safely out of the first trimester... but I'm thinking this kiddo has other ideas.
I'm only 10.5 weeks but I'm already showing! I went to my friend's doctoral graduation this past Sunday and his family was asking me questions about my if my DH and I had children. I told them, "not yet... we're working on it!" Then they asked questions to my friend, which caused me to admit that I was PG....
I guess I have two concerns... If I'm showing this early, what the dump will I look like at week 37??? Second concern, should I just tell people even if I don't want to, just because I'm showing???
I'm blessed to have this conflict considering... but I really wanted to wait after my first trimester!

Regarding the bolded, there is absolutely no reason to tell people just because you are "showing" (which is likely bloat), or because they ask. It's your information to tell when you and DH are ready, and not a moment sooner. Good friends of mine have asked me why I'm not drinking and I respond, "because I don't feel like it.", I even told my mother I wasn't pregnant when she asked because it wasn't the right time yet (she now knows, and I think if asked she would say she's happier I announced when I was ready rather than randomly saying, "yes mom, I'm pregnant.")

Share the news when you and DH are ready. Period.

lifesaverz · May 2013

I wouldn't tell until you're ready & you're choosing to tell. I actually had one of my middle school clients ask the other day if I was pregnant, which was super weird since I'm really not showing, & no one else has asked, but she tends to ask inappropriate questions in general so I wasn't too surprised, lol. I just asked "why would you think that?" and she told me I had "a little pooch". I just busted out laughing & said I probably just ate too much for breakfast, lol. You can always make light of the situation or make some joke...I personally found it hilarious.

Hunterloren · May 2013

I'm gonna have a freakout moment here.

First of all, it is so unfair that people press on like that. What if you were bloated because you were constipated, sick, or were gaining weight because of some other illness?

Second, what if you were trying and were not successful and their constant questions were hurting you deeply?

Third, what if you had just recently experienced a miscarriage? Their questions would be like driving a knife into you!!!

Gah! People have been all up in my business about me having another since Seth is 15 months. I just keep thinking- "You are so lucky I am having a healthy, secret pregnancy right now instead of infertility or recent miscarriage." I would just jump their a$$.

Rant over. I needed to get that out.

CHI-06 · May 2013

I totally look pg. I am pretty sure a lot of people know but no one has flat out asked me. I feel like in knocked up where she is huge and still avoiding telling everyone. This is my fourth and I am definitely showing. I still am waiting to tell though... Let them think what they want!
I am 11 weeks

lifesaverz · May 2013

Hunterloren:
I'm gonna have a freakout moment here.
First of all, it is so unfair that people press on like that. What if you were bloated because you were constipated, sick, or were gaining weight because of some other illness?
Second, what if you were trying and were not successful and their constant questions were hurting you deeply?
Third, what if you had just recently experienced a miscarriage? Their questions would be like driving a knife into you!!!
Gah! People have been all up in my business about me having another since Seth is 15 months. I just keep thinking- "You are so lucky I am having a healthy, secret pregnancy right now instead of infertility or recent miscarriage." I would just jump their a$$.
Rant over. I needed to get that out.

I totally agree with this.

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