Depressed about summer

jmlind · May 2013

I just turned my a/c on for the first time and started bawling. Last year at this time, I had just found out I was pregnant and was staying up late at night to research on the bump! This year, I'm lying here with empty arms. My baby should have been able to play in the water by the end if the summer, and he can't.

I can't stop thinking about holding him. Those fifteen minutes were all I had, and even though it's almost been half a year, I still feel him there and feel like I just have empty arms. I just can't stop feeling so lonely.

cawettig · May 2013

I was at walmart today looking at bikes for my ds and dd1, I seen a small Jeep brand little bike... I started crying in the aisle at walmart. I should be getting that for her soon. I have been laying on the couch tonight thinking everything you are right now. I am so upset that I can't bring her for summer strolls in the stroller I researched for weeks on end for the safest and best one out there. I should be thinking about swimming with her in the pool, I should be dressing her up in little summer rompers. My belly hurts tonight. I want to feel her in me so bad.

I feel alone all the time too, I know we have the support here and it makes us not feel alone. But I feel alone in a physical way... I want her body back in my belly and I want her body not cold laying on my chest from being still born but warm laying in the center of my chest with her head turned to the right so that way I can just put my head down just a little bit and kiss her soft brown hair and smell her...

JessicaG220 · May 2013

I am so sorry. I know exactly how you feel. Ava was due June 27 and I was SO excited to have 3 months off of work in the summer to spend at home with her. I hate that it's almost June... June 1 is going to kill me knowing my summer will be spent at work without my sweet baby girl.
I have a coworker and close friend who is due mid July and we spent the last 7 months sharing stories every single day. She is still pregnant, and seeking her growing belly every day absolutely kills me. That should be me right now. I should be 9 months pregnant and awaiting Ava's arrival.

This summer is going to suck. Not only am I stuck working, but I was planning to quit and stay at home permanently after my maternity leave. Life is so difficult to understand.

shandorfml2 · May 2013

I feel yah. I got pregnant with Ana at the end of June, and found out right after the 4th of July. I was obsessed with the bump and was on every day learning about my little bean. It's hard. I miss my girl so much and just want to hold her. Sorry your having a hard time.... lots of hugs

angelsnight · May 2013

I didn't have any particular attachments to having a summer baby, I was just happy to be pregnant. But now, once I get pregnant again I don't want a fall or winter or spring baby, I don't even want any other summer baby, I just want HER.

I was excited for summer birthday parties, cute flowy maternity dresses, being comfortable at my shower in a dress and flip flops and having the summer off to be with my girl. I miss her so much. I'm sorry you're hurting right now, but you're definitely amongst people who get it. Big hugs to you.

shandorfml2 · May 2013

cawettig:
I was at walmart today looking at bikes for my ds and dd1, I seen a small Jeep brand little bike... I started crying in the aisle at walmart. I should be getting that for her soon. I have been laying on the couch tonight thinking everything you are right now. I am so upset that I can't bring her for summer strolls in the stroller I researched for weeks on end for the safest and best one out there. I should be thinking about swimming with her in the pool, I should be dressing her up in little summer rompers. My belly hurts tonight. I want to feel her in me so bad.
I feel alone all the time too, I know we have the support here and it makes us not feel alone. But I feel alone in a physical way... I want her body back in my belly and I want her body not cold laying on my chest from being still born but warm laying in the center of my chest with her head turned to the right so that way I can just put my head down just a little bit and kiss her soft brown hair and smell her...

I understand this too. I was looking forward to getting her a little bathing suit...spent hours researching strollers and car seats. Now it all sits unused in her room. It just sucks so so so much.

meli1025 · May 2013

I feel the same way. We found out about our pregnancy the day after Father's Day and I spent the entire summer and early fall pregnant and happy. DH bought me a rocking chair for outside last summer, specifically for Ava and me to sit on. Every time I see that chair and think of it, I cry. I pictured my sweet girl wearing the cutest little summer dresses...when I see them in Target hanging on the racks I cry.

I also understand the alone feeling and the physical yearning. It hurts so deeply.

((HUGS)) This is all so unfair for all of us.

OSUWifey09 · May 2013

I'm a little bummed about summer, too. Devon was born sleeping last August, and I spent all last summer enjoying my growing bump and anxiously awaiting his arrival. I'm trying not to think about it, because it just makes the ache worse. I get it. *hugs*

shawzee · May 2013

I lost my son when I was 32 weeks pregnant. It will be 2 years in October. I still think about him everyday. Me and a friend were due around the same time and every time I look at her daughter I think that's how big he is supposed to be right now. It never goes away it just gets easier over time. Im just thankfull I have wonderful husband and family who were there for through the whole thing.

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