Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
financialdiva
member
Re: Open Letter Wednesday
(I already wrote about this on Parenting yesterday, but I feel sufficiently frustrated to discuss it twice.)
Dear People at Grocery Store Self-Checkout Lanes,
If you have an entire cart full of groceries, if you are buying a few weeks' worth of produce, or if you have a pile of coupons to use, you are not a candidate for the self-checkout lanes. These lanes are meant to be a quick convenient place to check out, not a place to leisurely type in dozens of codes while chatting on your cell phone. Also, if you are going to require a great deal of assistance to complete this procedure, then go to the full service lanes where there is (shock!) someone there to assist you in checking out.
Sincerely,
The Frustrated Mom with One Item at the Self-Checkout Lane
Dear DS2,
Why didn't you tell me you don't want to be swaddled anymore?? oh wait...I guess that's what you were trying to tell me the last few nights when you were up three or four times a night escaping it. Glad you were only up once last night and unswaddled the whole time. Mommy needed that sleep! Can't believe you're four months old already!
Love, mama
Dear Weekend,
Hurry up! Looking forward to spending you with all my boys!!
Much thanks, me
Dear Diet,
You suck. Why can't I be one of those moms who loses a ton of weight while breastfeeding and not have to worry about what I eat??? And you better not affect my supply either!!!
Signed, fatty
Dear DC-
You are wonderful! The multiple communication of emails, twitter and FB feeds keeping parents fully aware of the safety precautions and updates before, during and after yesterday's storm solidifies why I chose to enroll my kids with your center. Thanks for rocking and making me feel comfortable!
-Forever a parent attendee(or until DD2 goes to elementary)
Dear Handyman,
The updates you are making to the house look fabulous. Thanks for doing a great job. It feels good to have positive changes in life and sometimes that's as simple as painting a door.
-client
Dear LoCarb - stop binging
Dear body - perform a miracle and lose a noticeable 10 lbs by Saturday.
please stop logging me out each time I leave the site so I can actually participate. There have been so many posts I didn't respond to just because I didn't feel like logging back in.
Love, lazy in NJ
Dear Foster and Adoptive Services Recruiter,
Please call me so we can get this very long show on the road. I am excited to start the process of becoming a foster parent and don't want to wait!
Love, Have extra love and looking for someone to give it to.
Dear new medication,
I love that you make me not eat but I don't love that you make me so tired and out of it. Please end this "introductory side effect period" very soon, except the never hungry part, that can stay, so I don't have to find a new med.
Thanks, enjoying not being depressed but want to be awake for it.
Dear MIL,
Just beacuse LO cries does not mean she is hungry. So please stop asking me to bring more milk. Babies fuss and cry for many other reasons.
- concerned mother
Dear DD,
I hope you were just as excited as I was shopping for summer clothes for you last night. And let's try and not make this thumb sucking a habit.
xoxo-mama
Dear Daphne-please get better and let me feed you medicine. I'm very sad and think you may be dying; evident by the lethargy, loss of appetite and dehydration. I wish the vet knew what was wrong and we can treat you accordingly. You are a big part of our family. Don't leave us.
Love Mommy
Dear Mom,
Please stop being jealous and making passive agressive comments about our relationship with my inlaws. I would think you would be thankful we have a healthy relationship, but I guess that is asking to much of your maturity level. I will not justify how we choose to spend our time and I refuse to feel guilty.
Love,
Your daughter who loves you, but can see through your BS
Dear New Position,
Please be all that I hope you to be. I am so anxious to learn something new and I am excited to join a new team.
Your soon to be employee
Dear current coworkers,
Please stop saying that the new position was created for me, since I am our boss's favorite. It was posted in the career portal and everyone had an equal oppurtunity to apply. I rocked that interview and I deserve this promotion.
Signed,
I know you are talking about me
Dear Muffin Top,
Consider this your eviction notice, you have overstayed your welcome, please go away so that I can fit in my shorts for our vacation in 3 weeks! I would love to just go shopping for tops and sandals.
Body landlord
Dear Grant people,
Please give me this grant today! I really need it to get our infrastructure headed in the 21st century!
My dearest Lillian,
I am sorry this molar and 2 other teeth are bothering you, causing you to get up several hours earlier than normal. If you would take your advil without me having to hide it in yogurt I promise you will feel better!
Love,
Tired mama
Dear sickness,
Why do you continue to haunt me? Can I get a break? Coughing and no voice again. It's like summer here and I should not be continuing with the sicknesses!!
Sincerely asking you to get the he11 out of my system
Dear Coaches,
Enough of the drama about the team changes already. Stop emailing potential recruits and then getting worked up that you have too many kids; stop emailing me about my son trying out for your teams; stop trying to tell everyone how fabulous you are as a coach. We have seen all of you in action and have already made up our minds. Now grow up, act like adults, and set a good example for these kids.
Thanks,
Fed up soccer mom
Dear people who own the house we are trying to buy,
You didn't disclose the problems with the pool or any of the things you have fixed in the last year (and yeah, we are not idiots, you fixed the cosmetic items, not the real problems). I know we have had two extensions on the option period, but your realtor didn't get us the documentation you gave him. We have had four inspections (and nope, not a one of them was free for us). There are issues you will have to resolve - but we WANT TO BUY your house. Saw that you took it off the market yesterday - not as a pending sale, but as not for sale. I have NO IDEA what to think of that. Please let it mean that you plan to fix the pool, foundation and tile as concessions and you are just done with trying to sell it. Please let it mean you are in this contract and we will get this house, after you fix the issues you bloody knew about and tried to cover up.
Thanks,
The person who is obsessed with having three doors between me, the kids, the dog and DH when I need to work - that office off the master is amazing.
Dear Rude People Who Are Politicizing the Tornado/Making Light of What Happened In Oklahoma--
Have some compassion. Reach down in your cold, black heart and find a little bit of empathy for what we're going through here. This isn't about our congressmen and their views/votes, it's not about how redneck we are, and it's not about "Why do you live there if it's just going to get wiped off the map". It's about 24 families, who will never see their loved one again. It's about the children huddled in schools. It's also about how we come together in time of need. My hubby and 2 year old, and I survived Sunday's tornado in a walk-in freezer. How would you like to be in that situation with your child? Have a heart, we've been through enough.
--A Fed Up Oklahoma Girl
Dear DH--
Our 5th anniversary is Friday! Can you believe it? Now, let's find a babysitter and go out on the town! Someplace where my capris and t-shirt wardrobe can be traded for that red dress you like me to wear.
--Your Wife Who Wants a Little Romance and Celebration in Her Weekend
Dear DS1 ~~
I love you, you are so funny and sweet and a joy to have around. Except when you whine. Let's try to keep the whining to like 10 minutes a day. I don't think that's unreasonable.
Dear DS2 ~~
Wow you have been sleeping a lot lately. I LOVE not getting up at night but I miss playing with you in the morning before I leave. I know it's totally too much to ask but can we set 7am as a happy wake-up time? By that time I'm done with working out and ready to nurse/play for a bit.
Dear DH ~~
I know your project is crazy busy. But the lawn had to be mowed a month ago (and I can' ride the stupid tractor). Please, let's pay someone if you don't have time to do it. And I love you!
Dear Nanny ~~
We are going to miss you so so so much. I know he'll love daycare but we'll miss you.
So sorry to hear about your dog. My parents put down our family dog last Friday and I cried for several days every time I thought about her. Hoping she takes the medicine gets better very soon!
Dear Mom and Dad,
I know you are enjoying having all of your kids out of the house but blowing off my kid does not leave me very happy. Just tell me you are busy instead of making plans to cancel them. Luckily DH's parents enjoy being grandparents as much as being a couple.
Frustrated daughter
Dear Medical bills,
I'm not sure why there is a 9 week delay on your presence. I plan on taking at least 9 weeks to pay them. Tit for tat right?
Conscious of time requirements but don't care
It sounds like it's just part of the problem, but calling you teacher may not be disrespect. In some cultures, the title "teacher" is a sign of respect. I had a Hispanic student who I thought didn't know my name three months in, until I learned it was part of what he had been taught in Mexico to show respect for his teachers.
Demanding to see graded papers early is another issue of course.
thank you. She spent the day at the vet on an IV. The vet suggested to euthanize. I took her home for one last night with me.im an emotional mess.
Oh no. I am so sorry to hear this. :[
Dear self,
Please do well on your interview tomorrow! You really need a job in the new town!
Dear potential employer,
Please hire me!