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SS is getting tired of BM's crap - small update on us

karatechrissykaratechrissy member
in Blended Families

So now that SS is getting older (he's still only 7... but he isn't 2 anymore), he is starting to see through his mom's BS. BM has been leaving him with her parents more and more and going to new BF's house, but taking the baby with her. So SS is left with family, yes, but he is being super left out, and is starting to realize it. He is coming home stating how his mom 'just left me' and how he is just going to ask his mom to stay here since she doesn't see him anyway. This broke my heart last week when he was saying it at dinner. She didn't show up to his karate belt ceremony, and in the moment he didn't notice, but after when I told him his grandma couldn't come because she was sick he said 'wait, where was my mom??'. We don't know that answer. Her parents said she wasn't home all day and didn't come home until very very late at night. Not sure where this will lead but, it's where we are right now. 

On another note, BM DID come to the actual belt testing, just not the ceremony of receiving the new belt. She brought new BF, and surprisingly? He is really nice. I met him a few weekends ago briefly, and then again this past week. He was very polite, joked around a bit with my children, was respectful, and even said goodbye to us and shook hands.

Time will tell... time will tell... perhaps, somehow, she didn't end up with a complete psycho/loser this time! Now hopefully he can handle her crazy... sane people don't put up with crazy well... crazy puts up with crazy, but sane and crazy don't always mix the best. 

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Re: SS is getting tired of BM's crap - small update on us

  • TasheystarTasheystar
    How sad for your SS. I couldn't imagine doing that to one of my boys. The good thing is he has you in his life.
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  • MrsHKMrsHK member
    That is sad, I think we all had our BM figured out around that age too. Of course my dad and SM insisted on still speaking kindly of her and reminding us that she loves us. By the time we were in high school we basically told my parents to 'cut the crap bc we know she's a POS'. Haven't looked back much since then but I am thankful that my SM is my mom and was able to teach me how a real mom acts and shows love unconditionally. Without that I don't know that I would have learned how to properly be a mom myself. 
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  • socloudy99socloudy99 member
    I would not be suprised if custody changed from 50/50 to BM having EOWE in the next couple of years. I will say in a year if she has another baby with this guy. It seems best for SS. He would have a stable loving home all the time. BM would probably spend more time with him if she only had to focus EOWE. I sadly think he would see her more this way.
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  • Lavender PLavender P member
    imageandrea99:

    imageMelRC117:
    That makes me so sad for SS :(
    What I don't get is, shouldn't her BF be like "Where's SS?" If I was
    dating someone who had a child but they were always with me and the
    child was never around I'd question their priorities. Not saying they
    can't have their time as a couple, but why couldn't it be when you guys
    have SS or having her mom watch him every now and then? Obviously this
    is rhetorical.

    I've often wondered this.&nbsp; We know that
    with BM's XBF, she was lying to him about DH not letting her have SD.&nbsp;
    That's one of the main reasons he left her.&nbsp; He knew her priorities were
    screwed up, and I have tons of respect for him for this reason.

    Chrissy, if this is a good guy like you think he is, hopefully he'll see this light too.&nbsp; Maybe it'll be enough to make her want to actually hang out with SS.&nbsp;


    Maybe she lies to the boyfriend and says that SS is at his dad's house so she doesn't look like a bad parent. He probably wouldn't question it, especially if you guys have 50/50.
    I'm sorry for your SS. It is awful to realize your parents aren't perfect and I feel like in blended families it happens at a much younger age. It was at that age that my SS started making comments about how he thinks his mom wants him to hate his dad. We never talked about it in front of him but he picked up on it from her telling him how awful DH was all the time.
    "Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." ~ Lao Tzu
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