Wipes and DC Follow Up (long, sorry)

TJ1979 · May 2013

So I started looking into and questioning the wipe situation... and now it's this huge ordeal! So the issues are 1) going through wipes too quickly; 2) diaper changes not being written down accurately on DC log sheet and 3) one of my $20 BG cloth diapers went home on another kid. I could care less if they write down every diaper change. But because their rules state that they will write down every diaper change, I think they should do it correctly. My diaper going home on another kid does upset me though.

I started asking questions and trying to figure all of this out, and it has turned into this huge thing. Now they're keeping a log sheet of when people bring in wipes and diapers and other products like that. Which perhaps is a good idea, but I'm sure now the teachers think I'm being a PITA and causing them more work. And they are now talking about going ahead and moving E up to the next class basically just to avoid the situation. Which I kind of want to move her up anyway since she's the oldest in her class right now and not able to learn from the other kids since they are all littles. But MH doesn't want to lose her one teacher that just loves E so very much.

So now I feel like between her dairy intolerance (I have to check the menu every day and request special meals if they are serving dairy that day) and the whole diaper/wipes stink, I feel like I'm "that" parent. I know I'm not interested in switching DCs, this DC is by far the best fit for my family. But I don't want them to think I'm a pain and treat E differently because I'm annoying.

WDYT? Am I annoying? Am I being ridiculous? Should we just move her up to the next class? Should I just buy wipes whenever they ask and not question it? Does it matter if the log sheet has the correct number of diaper changes noted? Thanks in advance for talking some sense into me.

Suebee8 · May 2013

Absolutely not! It is their job to do their jobs correctly. And it is our jobs as parents to be interested/invested in what goes on with our children on a daily basis. It would be wrong to just sweep things under the rug and not question what is best for your child. And I would be totally PO's if they do not get that $20 diaper back for you or reimburse you for their mistake. And shame on that other parent for not bringing it back the next day.

TJ1979 · May 2013

Suebee8:
Absolutely not! It is their job to do their jobs correctly. And it is our jobs as parents to be interested/invested in what goes on with our children on a daily basis. It would be wrong to just sweep things under the rug and not question what is best for your child. And I would be totally PO's if they do not get that $20 diaper back for you or reimburse you for their mistake. And shame on that other parent for not bringing it back the next day.

She did bring it back after she washed it. That's the only way I even knew it happened, I ran into her in the hallway and she was holding my pink diaper, when she has a boy. (Not that boys can't wear pink, but this boy is always wearing blue.) It just made me wonder... if they are not paying attention to that, what else might be going on? Would I have ever even known if I hadn't run into her in the hallway that day?

Suebee8 · May 2013

TJ1979:

Suebee8:
Absolutely not! It is their job to do their jobs correctly. And it is our jobs as parents to be interested/invested in what goes on with our children on a daily basis. It would be wrong to just sweep things under the rug and not question what is best for your child. And I would be totally PO's if they do not get that $20 diaper back for you or reimburse you for their mistake. And shame on that other parent for not bringing it back the next day.

She did bring it back after she washed it. That's the only way I even knew it happened, I ran into her in the hallway and she was holding my pink diaper, when she has a boy. (Not that boys can't wear pink, but this boy is always wearing blue.) It just made me wonder... if they are not paying attention to that, what else might be going on? Would I have ever even known if I hadn't run into her in the hallway that day?

Good, that is good she brought it back. What did she have to say about the situation?

And I apologize, I got a call from our daycare this AM and I was totally venting my frustrations on yours;)

TJ1979 · May 2013

Suebee8:
TJ1979:

Suebee8:
Absolutely not! It is their job to do their jobs correctly. And it is our jobs as parents to be interested/invested in what goes on with our children on a daily basis. It would be wrong to just sweep things under the rug and not question what is best for your child. And I would be totally PO's if they do not get that $20 diaper back for you or reimburse you for their mistake. And shame on that other parent for not bringing it back the next day.

She did bring it back after she washed it. That's the only way I even knew it happened, I ran into her in the hallway and she was holding my pink diaper, when she has a boy. (Not that boys can't wear pink, but this boy is always wearing blue.) It just made me wonder... if they are not paying attention to that, what else might be going on? Would I have ever even known if I hadn't run into her in the hallway that day?

Good, that is good she brought it back. What did she have to say about the situation?

And I apologize, I got a call from our daycare this AM and I was totally venting my frustrations on yours;)

She just said, oops I think this is yours and came home on my kid the other day, and that she washed it for me and brought it right back. She didn't seem concerned. I am though... what if her kid had a yeast diaper rash and infected my diaper and I didn't know? Or if she used a detergent E was allergic to? Obviously I rewashed it just in case. But that shouldn't be something I have to worry about. And if she had just given it to the DC and I hadn't seen her, I wouldn't have gotten that option.

It's fine, vent away. That's all I'm doing here. Hugs, hope everything is okay.

amandaleigh1 · May 2013

I agree with everyone. You are not being annoying, you are doing your job as the mommy, and as DCP, they need to do their job too, which they are not.

My daycare gives a really long list of foods that we check off if they are okay or not to feed. They also provide the menu like a month at a time for approval or to check off things that are okay. Why can't they just put no dairy on E's stuff and be done with it? I don't think you should have to constantly remind them about a food sensitivity or to not use your stuff on other kids behinds!

TJ1979 · May 2013

amandaleigh1:
I agree with everyone. You are not being annoying, you are doing your job as the mommy, and as DCP, they need to do their job too, which they are not. My daycare gives a really long list of foods that we check off if they are okay or not to feed. They also provide the menu like a month at a time for approval or to check off things that are okay. Why can't they just put no dairy on E's stuff and be done with it? I don't think you should have to constantly remind them about a food sensitivity or to not use your stuff on other kids behinds!

Teehee, this made me giggle.

I agree, I shouldn't have to remind them every day about the dairy thing. And I think most of the teachers get it. But there is one teacher with a language barrier, and she is really bad about just giving E what she wants. Like, she gave E puffs without our permission because another kid was eating them and E really wanted them. But she is just the sweetest teacher and loves E so very much. Yes, they are all aware of the dairy sensitivity, and I may be going overboard reminding them every time they serve pizza or grilled cheese. But I'd rather be annoying and safe, than sorry.

PennyLane26 · May 2013

I am (well.. was...) a first grade teacher. Now I am a SAHM, yikes, still getting used to this. Anyways...

From a teacher's perspective I would not AT ALL consider you a helicopter mom based on the two situations you mentioned (dairy allergy & wipes situation). The fact that you are even concerned that you are being annoying proves that you aren't being annoying... does that make sense?

Documenting should be standard at this point and not just to please the parents, but to cover their butts too! Sadly, there are far more serious concerns in regards to diaper changes than using too many wipes ad because of that it should be documented every time that's happening. Even at the fist grade level we document if a child has an accident and needs help to change or clean up.

Move her to the next class if you feel it's best for her, not because you feel bad. A good teacher would NEVER treat your child differently because of your behavior. If it seems as if they are, it should be reported immediately.

You are a great mom and you've proved it in the way you've advocated for E in both of these situations. Any teacher who thinks differently is crazy and shouldn't be teaching.

TJ1979 · May 2013

PennyLane26:
I am (well.. was...) a first grade teacher. Now I am a SAHM, yikes, still getting used to this. Anyways...
From a teacher's perspective I would not AT ALL consider you a helicopter mom based on the two situations you mentioned (dairy allergy & wipes situation). The fact that you are even concerned that you are being annoying proves that you aren't being annoying... does that make sense?
Documenting should be standard at this point and not just to please the parents, but to cover their butts too! Sadly, there are far more serious concerns in regards to diaper changes than using too many wipes ad because of that it should be documented every time that's happening. Even at the fist grade level we document if a child has an accident and needs help to change or clean up.
Move her to the next class if you feel it's best for her, not because you feel bad. A good teacher would NEVER treat your child differently because of your behavior. If it seems as if they are, it should be reported immediately.
You are a great mom and you've proved it in the way you've advocated for E in both of these situations. Any teacher who thinks differently is crazy and shouldn't be teaching.

Wow Penny. Thank you so much for sharing from a teacher's perspective. All of this really helps. I appreciate you.

Mr. & Mrs. Woodtick · May 2013

WDYT? Am I annoying? Am I being ridiculous? Should we just move her up to the next class? Should I just buy wipes whenever they ask and not question it? Does it matter if the log sheet has the correct number of diaper changes noted? Thanks in advance for talking some sense into me.

I do not think you are being annoying or ridiculous at all. YOU are paying THEM! With the cost of diapers I would not want any of DSs diapers to be going on any other child. I also wouldn't want my wipes used on other children and I think you should question it. Honestly, I do think the diaper log sheet matters. It is the first think that I look at on DS sheet everyday. I have my own reasons for it and I'm sure I'm not the only parent who does that. I would be very upset if I found out his DC wasn't logging things correctly.

I don't understand why you have to go over the menu all the time. DS has dairy/soy intolerances and I go over the menu monthly. I mark things that I think are okay for him to eat, the cook checks the ingredients list to verify they are okay (some vendors send different brands each month), and if something isn't okay they don't give it to him. They sub it with something or we bring in something. His DC is more than happy to do this because they want to ensure his safety as much as we do.

It's probably time to move E up anyway. She would have to leave this teacher at some point and if she is the oldest in her class now she might be getting bored in there. I don't think you did anything wrong though.

Sometimes I feel like I'm "that parent" aslo, but then I remind myself, I'M paying THEM!

OceanBreeze1 · May 2013

DD doesn't go to DC, but I don't think you are being annoying at all! With the whole wipes issue, I would think you questioning was very innocent in a nonchalant, "Hey, dudes, I think you may have misplaced my wipes. No biggie, just wanted to mention it."

The resulting actions are not because of YOU -- they are because the DC needs to be accountable for their own actions there. You questioning them just made them realize that. If they are annoyed with anyone, they should be annoyed with the teacher(s) who are swapping out wipes/diapers/etc. -- which by the way it sounds, was definitely not a one-time oversight (which happens).

And ditto pp, with all the sensitivities and allergies out there it's very important not to be sharing everything, as you know. And I would hope they would look at LO's dairy intolerance as something that has nothing to do with the way you parent.

If you're ever worried, you can always bring in some cookies/whatever for the staff to "thank them" for all their hard work. Kill 'em with kindness and all.

TJ1979 · May 2013

OceanBreeze1:
DD doesn't go to DC, but I don't think you are being annoying at all! With the whole wipes issue, I would think you questioning was very innocent in a nonchalant, "Hey, dudes, I think you may have misplaced my wipes. No biggie, just wanted to mention it."
The resulting actions are not because of YOU -- they are because the DC needs to be accountable for their own actions there. You questioning them just made them realize that. If they are annoyed with anyone, they should be annoyed with the teacher(s) who are swapping out wipes/diapers/etc. -- which by the way it sounds, was definitely not a one-time oversight (which happens).
And ditto pp, with all the sensitivities and allergies out there it's very important not to be sharing everything, as you know. And I would hope they would look at LO's dairy intolerance as something that has nothing to do with the way you parent.
If you're ever worried, you can always bring in some cookies/whatever for the staff to "thank them" for all their hard work. Kill 'em with kindness and all.

We do that as well. We always bring stuff for holidays and teacher appreciation and all that. They probably think I'm bipolar, one minute all upset over diapers and wipes, the next minute baking them treats. Haha.

Dragonfly1226 · May 2013

Another teacher perspective... The is a big difference between a parent who is involved and questions things and a parent who is difficult. It has a lot to do with tone and attitude when interacting with the teachers. Something tells me that you are fine. Andplusalso all you did was ask about things they were supposed to be doing anyway. You had every right to inquire about the wipes. When it comes to her diet, you are right to remind them about her issues - especially since you know they have given her foods that they shouldn't.

TJ1979 · May 2013

Thank you everyone for your thoughts, suggestions, and reassurances. We did decide to go ahead and move E up to the next room. I really want her to be able to learn from the other kids, and she isn't going to learn much from littles who don't crawl yet. Hopefully this will solve our issues as well as being better for E in the long run. Thanks again.

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