Rant!

Re: Rant!

• babymakin17

  May 2013

  I hated that. I ff fed my first because I just mentally could not bf and people were so rude. Now this time I bf and I've really made a point to acknowledge the good in both. You are only a bad mom if you don't feed your baby. I don't know why people care!

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• runningyogimama member

  May 2013

  I HATE this, too. How is it anyone else's business??? And I felt badly enough when I first started FF, I didn't need the judgement from outside sources, too!
  
  I think I've shared this link like 5 times on here, but this is such an awesome article on the subject that I just have to pass it on: https://m.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2009/04/thecaseagainstbreastfeeding/307311/
  
  Eta: freaking mobile ate the hyphens in the link, sorry...

  
  

  

  

   

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• stephrodgers07 member

  May 2013

  A woman asked me this the other day. I BF but I thought to myself what if I said no? What would this stranger have said to me? And yes, it isn't any of their business either way!
  
  I've also been told breastmilk doesn't have enough nutrients to "chunk up" my baby anyway. People and their unwanted "advice."
  
  Let's just all ignore them together!

  

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• tig594 member

  May 2013

  Your child's food source and your boobs are no one else's business and it's rude for people to ask.  I'd probably be a bit snarky about it but I'll just suggest smiling and walking away or changing the subject or something. 

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• gradbeth member

  May 2013

  Lurking from April.  My pediatrician actually pointed this same thing out.  I am trying to breast feed but don't make enough so I heavily supplement (more than half). I was really upset about this and the doctor said that society is just skewed toward breastfeeding and it's hard when you have issues that prevent success when everywhere you look "Breast is best" reigns.  It makes people with low supply or latch issues, or premature babies feel so guilty that they can't provide for their child, like something is lacking.   Formula is not the devil.  

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• cottingham3 member

  May 2013

  Let me start by stating a few facts 1. My baby was born at 26 weeks 2. I EPed round the clock for four months and still pump 3x per day giving him 3 bm bottles per day and 3. I understand WIC is a voluntary program and by participating I subject myself to their rules and apparently their ridicule as well...here's what happened.
  
  I have always worked full time and so does my husband. I was put on bedrest at 14 weeks and delivered 26 weeks so I pretty much used all my leave and fmla and was let go. I have a new job and will return to work June 15th. So i decided to participate in WIC to help out during this time I am not working.
  
  It was my LOs first appt and there was a new nutritionist there that day. First, I got a dirty look because I have private insurance and do not receive food stamps. Then she asked the question I was prepared to answer...do you breast feed?
  
  I gave her all the background about how he took bottles in the NICU and how I put him to breast some and pump some but I am not getting as much milk now so I will need to supplement with Formula. She looked at me and said "you must be getting lazy with your pumping then." I controlled myself not and did not slap her. I nicely explained that now that the baby was home and with my two older children it was harder to pump. To which she replied, "well, babies are demanding. I don't understand why you don't just put him to breast that would take less time and that way you could provide the very best for him." I broke down! I was so angry and I cried. She said, "what's wrong?"
  
  I said YOU are what's wrong. I pumped 10x per day for FOUR months waking to an alarm at night so that he could have the "very best" crying and missing him. I continue to do my best and I intend to give hi m as much BM as my boobs will make until the run dry! Do you think this is how I WANTED his birth and first few months to go. I nursed my other two and do you think I made my decision to supplement lightly? Do you think I did not cry and feel like I was not doing the best I could and need my husband to calm me? Do you also think I want to be HERE...feeling like I cannot provide for my own child? I get its best...I get this government program spends less if I BF...but good grief lady!
  
  It was aweful!

  
  
  

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• amykins1283 member

  May 2013

  My body goes completely haywire when I as m breastfeeding because of the hormones. I tried with both kids and between the night sweats, mood swings, boob issues, and everything else it just wasn't something I could handle. Not to mention my first had horrible reflux and my milk dried up with my second because my ulcerative colitis flared up and I didn't eat or drink for 3 days.
  
  So, agreed, sometimes breastfeeding doesn't work out and it's no ones business.

  
  

  
   
  

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• Nodoubtvw member

  May 2013

  mal922:

  We recently switched to FF and I hate that I feel like I have to give an explanation to support my decision when people ask. I tried BFing for two months and the only time my baby was ever able to gain weight was when he was supplemented with formula. I could get into more details, but the point is I shouldn't ever have to justify the eventual decision to switch to FF to anyone, except perhaps DH and he was certainly on board after seeing how hard I tried to make BFing work and that I was not doing well emotionally or physically when I was BFing. I know I should just say that no, I don't BF my LO when people ask, and leave it at that, especially since it is none of their business in the first place. Yet, I always feel compelled to tack on an explanation that they don't deserve and shouldn't expect.

  
  
  This is exactly how I feel. I ebf for 5 weeks and my Lo only gained 1 oz. I was a mess emotionally and almost depressed. After I stopped my Dh and sister noticed a dramatic change in my mood. That right there should have been enough to make me feel better about ff yet I was upset for a while. I couldn't even talk about it without crying. Then to be asked over and over if I was bf really got old. When did it come to this?! In my bf class the teacher said that in the 80's most women ff because bf had phased out for a while.

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• llarkinburns member

  May 2013

  People are such intrusive jerks! I try to tell myself they're just making conversation when i get asked how I'm feeding my kiddo, but i don't think anyone should be judging a mama about how she feeds her baby. Whatever works for you is what you should be doing. I don't even think its okay to judge people about why they choose what they choose. The only thing that matters is that baby is healthy and mom is happy. FWIW i was a formula baby and I'm turned out just fine. I mostly BF my son and supplement with formula and having that option has allowed me to just enjoy it and not stress about how much i can pump at work. I love that moms have options and screw anyone who tries to make you feel bad about doing what's right for you and your baby!

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• daniliza

  May 2013

  I exclusively breast feeding but it def has the disadvantages of comments too! My baby has acid reflux and everywhere I go I have people commenting to me that I should prob watch my diet and he won't spit up so much.. People continuously are like "well its probably your breast milk thats doing this to him" like really? No I tried no dairy for 2 weeks and it had no effect on his acid reflux. I just wish people Would mind their own business, pretty sure I know what's best for my son!

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• carig63 member

  May 2013

  I'm with you! I got really upset with my first one, but I have a better response for my second now: "How is that any of your business?"

  It usually makes them realize they're asking a personal question they don't have any right to ask, and it allows you to not say "no" and then take the crap for formula feeding. 

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