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Does your LO "hate" you.

rayray3383rayray3383 member
in Single Parents
Ok hate is a strong word and I know she doesn't even know what that means, but I couldnt think of another one to describe what it feels like to me. Let me start by saying I am a widowed Mom. My husband was killed in a motorcycle accident one week after I gave birth to our daughter. So it's been a crazy 2 and a half years raising a child by myself. I have a fantastic family who is a tremendous help. Here comes part of the problem. When we are with my parents, who Lilly loves emensely, she acts as if I dont exist. Which I understand. She's with Poppop and Grammy, she's as happy as can be. But she gets very mad when I come to get her or even try to talk to her while we're there. She'll say No Mom, not you. And try to swing and hit me too. Now clearly, I dont tolerate it and my parents help to tell her that she needs to be nice to Mommy. But it gets old being the "bad guy" all the time. Her father isn't here to take half of the "badness". I will also say that when it is just the 2 of us at home, she's usually very loving with me and we get along pretty well. So I know it's just when my family is around and especially my parents. Does anyone have any tips on how to handle her when she's mean to me around other people? She's an excellent "screamer" when she isn't getting her own way....which is another part of the problem haha. Thanks everyone!
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Re: Does your LO "hate" you.

  • babymama619babymama619 member

    Sounds like she's testing her limits...and yours. Here's my 2 cents...

    1. If you ask her to do something or she is blatantly disrespectful to you in front of your family you need to have them on your side. Everyone in the room should be telling her and showing her with looks that those actions are unacceptable.  If she refuses to do something for example b/c grandma and grandpa are around they should tell her she doesn't get their attention until she listens to her mom.

    2. If she wants to scream, let her. Remove her from the situation, put her in another room or walk away and tell her when you're don, we can talk. Pretty soon she will realize screaming is not going to help her get her way. DO NOT GIVE IN WHEN SHE'S SCREAMING :-) If you're in a store, tell her before you go in if you do't behave we'll leave. Then leave if she misbehaves. 

    3. 2s get a bad rap, it's threes that are the trouble. As your LO is getting closer to three she's figuring out how to become a mater manipulator! She can see if she hurts your feelings and what your reaction is and she uses that against you. Don't cave, YOU'RE IN CHARGE. YOU'RE THE MOM. 

    4. She might be testing if you love her. You probably have a lot of other obligation being a single mom and  maybe she's testing to make sure she has your undivided attention. Be consistent with your rule and punishments and rewards. Just keep on keeping on and sooner than later she will figure out life is easier and more comfortable when she is nice to mommy. 

    good luck! 


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  • NokkouttmommaNokkouttmomma
    It could be a mix of things, one being her age. If she's starting to get more independent she probably wants to show that to people she doesn't see all of the time. When she's alone with you she knows that you know everything she can do and is ok with being more of a Mommy's girl. It could also be tha socialization that kids crave. When there's only one person at home all of the time she needs time with other people to share with and learn with. The getting her way thing is just beginning! Just wait until she starts getting even more vocal and articulate about what she wants! I think you just need to continue doing what you're doing because she seems like she's a very independent girl and she's learning that from you.
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  • rayray3383rayray3383 member
    Thanks Ladies. Now I'm reallly dreading 3's! haha. I just wish her father was here to help out....even though part of me thinks/knows I'd still be doing this all by myself lol. I'll keep being consistent and just have a few more "mommy" drinks! Big Smile
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  • NokkouttmommaNokkouttmomma
    Dads are always the good guys anyways! Moms are the only ones to get the brunt of everything and that's because even our kids know that our love for them is unconditional! Have faith in you abilities as a mother and keep sipping on the "mommy drinks"! :
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  • L RosL Ros member
    My mom told me that when I was around that age and my grandparents would watch me while she was working, Id tell her I don't want to go with her and she wasn't the boss of me. Unfortunately, my grandparents didn't help like your parents did, but eventually she just continued reinforcing that she was the mom and honestly I can't think of a single time in my life that I didn't want to be with her or didn't respect her. Im pretty close to my grandparents, but my mom is like my best friend an has been since I can remember [i was obviously too young to remember that stuff]. Just keep reinforcing that the grandparents are for visiting but at the end of the day you are the mommy. Hope this phase passes soon for you. :
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