What made you decide to FF?

DanniRae04 · May 2013

Hello Everyone!

I am currently exclusively pumping for my 1 1/2 week old daughter and I am toying with the idea to start FF full time. What made you decide to FF and did you feel guilty about it?

lkm2006 · May 2013

I tried it with my first but he was a preemie and had issues so we switched early.

I started BFing full time with DS2 and absolutely hated it. I was miserable, felt like it took time away from DS1 and did I mention, I hated it? I started pumping once a day and actually liked doing that because I was still giving him some BM and it wasn't a huge time burden. I got a stomach virus and my supply tanked so I was done pumping.

Why would I feel guilty? Are FF kids marked with some Scarlett letter I don't know about? Or denied college acceptance? I'm on mobile but pretend i inserted a smiley wink face.

bamabelly7 · May 2013

I decided to formula feed after having a difficult time waiting for my milk to come in. DD needed formula in the hospital after having high levels of bilirubin and my milk didn't come in until 6 days after delivery. My lactation consultants told me to pump 8-12 times a day, in addition to letting her try to breastfeed for 45 minutes. It was too much for me. I was already feeling overwhelmed with having a new baby but having a never ending cycle of BFing, pumping and then bottle feeding was just too much- I was miserable and I was making everyone else miserable too.

I started exclusively FF at about 2 1/2 weeks and since then things have been so much better for my family. I do feel guilty about it, because I know BFing has so many health benefits. Sometimes I think "I should have just stuck with it", but then I remember how tough those first 4 weeks were. Right now I feel like I get to be the mom I want to be. I get to enjoy having this adorable little crazy person instead of being stressed out, cranky and unhappy. She is almost 2 months and is doing great!

It's strange, but I felt like I almost needed "permission" to start formula feeding. What helped me was talking to adults who had been formula fed as infants and parents who had or were currently formula feeding- in every case the kids were healthy and happy.

Do what's best for your family.

CrazyMary77 · May 2013

I started out EBF, but 10 days PP I was back in the hospital with 3 different infections. I pumped at the hospital but couldn't feed the baby BM for over 2 weeks because of the antibiotics. Plus, although the nurse at the hospital told me the baby had a good latch, I found BFing to be painful and stressful. My LO was wanting to BF so often just to soothe what I later realized was probably pain from acid reflux. While taking the antibiotics, LO started drinking formula and I continued to pump but wasn't very good at doing it as often as I should have to keep the supply up. Once off the meds, I kept pumping as often as I could and fed LO BM plus complimented with formula. Eventually I decided to taper off the pumping and just FF because I felt I was devoting so much time on feeding. I was satisfied with the fact that LO did get a good amount of BM that she will benefit from, and that she can thrive and be healthy on formula. Feeding became a lot less stressful once I started EFF.

vrj0522 · May 2013

I wanted to EBF but 10 days after LO was born, my supply wasn't meeting all his hunger needs. I started supplementing 2 oz of formula at that point. I hated the whole thing. It was time consuming, painful, inconvenient, and on top of it I immediately developed tendonitis on my hands due to it. I hated that I would try to pump to increase my supply and he would just end up drinking what I pumped before the end of the day and I still had to supplement.

At 3 months I got mastitis from a clogged duct (3rd time clogged) and lost most of my supply on that breast. When I tried to increase it, I just injured my hands even more so at that point I made the decision to wean him and move to FF. As I started increasing the amount of formula I was giving him, his stool started changing color and that caused some real guilt for me. The reason why I stuck with BF-ing for 3 months was because I just knew it was best so it was hard to get away from it and not feel guilty. I did take 3 weeks to fully wean him off which really helped me embrace FF. Once he was fully on FF, I literally felt free and I think I probably became a better mom. I was no longer miserable from it.

Two things I suggest: Because bf-ing creates a very special bond between mom and baby, make sure that even if you move to FF, that you cuddle him and hug and kiss him a lot during and after feedings so you won't miss out on that bond. And second, I read that some women can become depressed after weaning off the breast but if you make the transition slower, you will most likely be okay. That's why I took 3 weeks to wean him off and I was perfectly ok with it by the end.

runningyogimama · May 2013

My milk didnt come in for over a week, so we had to start supplementing at 3 days since she had lost so much weight. By the time my milk did come in, DD had gotten so frustrated that she was taking it out on my nipples and not always latching correctly, even though she had been doing great since birth, and it hurt SO bad, so I started pumping instead. But then I felt like so much of my time was spent pumping, and for so little milk, that I ultimately decided the stress and tears and pain it was causing wasn't worth it an switched to formula completely.

I had planned BF for the first year, so it was a hard decision, and I felt incredibly guilty, no matter what anyone said. I found this article comforting and eventually accepted that I was doing what was best for me and our family: https://m.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2009/04/thecaseagainstbreastfeeding/307311/

InkedMegs · May 2013

I received very little BFing support in the hospital. I didn't realize it until afterward, though. I didn't know what I was doing and had no clue I wasn't doing things correctly. I just thought it wasn't working. LO kept grabbing the nipple shield and by the time I was nursing her, she was over-hungry and losing her mind. It was also very difficult with my incision after my unscheduled C-section.

By the end of our time in the hospital, DD lost 8% of her birthweight and was extremely dehydrated (she was peeing the orange crystals). We started formula our last full 24 hours in the hospital.

When we got home, I tried to pump, but didn't do it often enough. Hindsight, I should have seen a LC immediately. All of these issues would have been resolved.

My Pedi told me at one of my first appointments that they don't care what a baby is fed. A happy mother AND a happy baby are all that is important. If BFing is risking that, then FF. I will be honest that I felt horrible about it for a few weeks, especially after I realized that I could have remedied the situation. But, my milk was gone by the time I got my mind together and got over the hormone hump.

Don't feel bad. Just make a healthy baby.

leahstarrh · May 2013

We started breastfeeding and she did really well at it. Close to the 2 month mark it was just so hard on me. She seemed constantly hungry and I wasn't able to pump enough for a bottle for DH to help with feedings. I was suffering mentally and just physically exhausted. She also would projectile vomit fairly often, and grunt from bad gas. It took me a while to decide to finally switch because I too struggled with guilt. I finally just did it and I'm glad I did. She stays content longer, eats more, vomits less and is much less gassy and I have my sanity back. We are both happier for it.

Just remember its a personal decision, and your baby will not suffer if you choose to switch. Don't feel guilty happy mommy and baby is the goal and you don't have to explain yourself to anyone! Good luck!

mnj05 · May 2013

We had been supplementing from day one. In fact his first two feedings were formula because I was too weak and shaky to breast feed. When we got home, we just gave him formula at night and I breast fed the rest of the time. My supply was horrible and never really came in, and I didn't like it either. I stopped at 2 weeks and the mental mind game lasted a week after, feeling guilty and worried about being judged. I let it go though because I know so many moms who never had the chance to BF and their babies are just fine.

dustypinkhalo · May 2013

Idani:
There is no reason to feel guilty about feeding your child.

With my first I went the BF route, it was miserable, he wasn't thriving, I was miserable, he was losing weight and mentally I was suffering very bad with the guilt that I should stick it out. Eventually we ended up switching to FF and he gained weight, was a happier baby and I was able to come out of funk and be a better parent. This time from my experience the first I decided for my own physical and mental well being I would go straight to FF. My recovery was smoother, baby was and is happy and I feel good about it. There is nothing wrong with FF and the most important thing is a happy baby and happy mother.

well said

dande2129 · May 2013

I exclusively pumped with DS and I was a single parent. It got to the point where I had zero time for myself because by the time I put him down, I'd have to pump and then he'd be up again right when I was done. (He didn't sleep well during the day... at all.) I stopped at 3 1/2 months and I felt okay about it. Sometimes I wished I had tried harder.

This time, I stopped actually pumping just shy of 3 months because I had a great stash built up that could sustain him for a while. Honestly, with a 3 year old, a new baby and a FI that is gone 24 hours at a time, several times a week for work AND being a FT student.... I didn't really feel that guilty about giving myself a break. I did it for a little bit, LO got breast milk and now we're on to formula and I couldn't be happier. I think I'm just generally a happier person. I don't have to plan my days around the times to pump. I don't have to stress about how much breast milk is in the fridge should I have to go somewhere, and worrying that it won't be enough while I'm gone. I had mastitis twice--- I definitely fought to continue. I finally had just reached the point where I did what was best for my sanity, and I feel good about that. I think not BFing will always make me feel just a tad bit guilty, but in the end, I'm feeding my baby and he's happy.

Crequito · May 2013

I EBF for the first 4 weeks and was miserable. LO ate almost every hour and the feedings lasted 30-45 minutes each so there wasn't much time for me to relax. I slept on the couch for the first 3 weeks since the PnP was right next to it. I decided to supplement just to give my sore nipples a break and give me a chance to pump except pumping didn't go we'll either. DH and I talked and now I'm weaning DD to formula completely before returning to work. I am much happier which I think is great for DD because who wants to associate their baby with frustration and resent?

sdemilio1231 · May 2013

Jack was born tongue tied, and also three weeks early. At first we just couldn't wake him up long enough to latch, and after that the tongue tie enabled him from latching. I saw numerous lactation consultants and was EP. I started to slowly lose my supply until I was only getting half an ounce pumping for 45 mins every three hours. I was bummed because it was a week before Jack's ENT appointment to get his tongue snipped and I was hopeful we would BF. The doctor said my body wasn't responding to the pump and it wasn't stimulating me enough to encourage milk supply. I BF for 7 weeks before I switched formula. At first I felt guilty, but now I don't at all. I was EFF and I turned out great. I'm sick of people treating FF like mashing up chicken mcnuggets and feeing them to my baby. Jack has thrived on formula, and we are both happier because of it.

KarenKav · May 2013

Don't feel guilty about any decision you make, either way. I don't know if there is a reason you are exclusively pumping, but I think it would be harder than exclusively nursing. It is time consuming to pump and then feed a bottle. If you still have a desire to nurse or pump, contact a lactation consultant and try to find a support group near you. I think support is important when you are nursing. With my first, I nursed/pumped for about 2 1/2 months, but I was young, was the first of my friends and siblings to have a baby, and had no support, so I gave up. 10 years later, I have a lot of support (my sister has had 6 kids since my first) and I have been exclusively nursing for almost 6 months with my second child and plan to keep going until at least 1 year. It's not for everyone, you have to do what's best for you and baby. Good luck with whatever decision you make.

aisha&travis · May 2013

Some of the stories are very sad. It's too bad ya'll had such difficult time breast feeding. A good milk supply is mostly based on diet so feed yourselves well and that may take care of that situation and see a lactation specialist if you are having trouble. I was breastfed for two years and I am the healthiest person I know. Don't give up but don't feel guilty if you do and can't sustain it any longer. Good luck to everyone.

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