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August 2011 Moms
I don't want her to be that kid
How do I go about helping DD become secure and independent in social settings and playing with other kids?
My fear is that she will become that kid that cannot play with others and not be in new settings bc she is around adult most of the time and the kids she is around give into her. DH thinks I am being crazy and that she is just a baby. I think he needs to stop thinking like she is an infant. I am not suggesting throwing her to wolves. I have her signed up for dance class in the fall that my sister co-teachs to help with her seperation anxiety from me. I thought that was a great way to help her move away from doing things with only me.
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Re: I don't want her to be that kid
I think peer settings are good exposure to kids their age.
Going to classes that are instructor led rather than parent led are also good. Taking instruction from adults can't hurt.
Getting to the park. Taking swim lessons. Letting her conquer some of the situations on her own time... those will also help.
I don't think you need to throw her into anything serious right now. It's VERY typical for kids their age to be experiencing separation anxiety.
How often does she get into a social setting with other kids now? DD was very reluctant in new settings, until I started taking her to a weekly play group. It's done wonders for her social skills! She is much more independent and outgoing since we started attending a few months back. She has picked up so much just from observing other kids interact with each other, and with their own parents.
I think the dance class is a very good idea. Not only will it give her something to do away from you, but I think it will be good for her to have an opportunity to have to listen to an instructor and follow the structure of a class.
Thank you, we currently do swim lessons but its parent and me - we are pretty much on our own minus a couple of songs/games we do as a group.
I thought the playground too, and we hang back, let her explore on her own more.
I agree with PPs. Also, how independent is she at home? Is there anything you can start having her do for herself at home that you normally do for her? Things like making her go up and down stairs without carrying her, starting to dress herself, wiping her own hands, face and tray after eating. Also, you can teach her about sharing and waiting for her turn. If you start to play with a toy that she wants, make her ask for it (instead of just giving it to her because you "know" she wants it). Then, occasionally make her wait a minute because you are still using it.
(I obviously have no idea if she is ready for any of this. These are just ways that I would start to encourage independence and positive social skills.)
Oh, Tuna... How I've missed thee.
I'm glad you've been around more the last couple of days... Or, at least that you're posting more often.
Tuna - great ideas on the sharing at home, so simple but will make a big difference. She is very independent at home just not so much with other kids. I think she is ready, wants she finally get into playing she has a great time, she just needs a little more confidence.
I work but she is at home with her babysitters that do different things with her. Hopefully now that the weather has finally broken she will get out more. The church we belong to does not do anything for kids until kindergarten.
Would you mind sharing your dance school? I thought that too with my sister but she would have a meltdown if I left her with someone she didn't know at all. Who knows maybe by the fall she won't mind as much. But if I had to decide today, doing something with my sister would be a big improvement for her.
DD has had seperation anxiety pretty much since she was born, it is just kicked into over-drive lately. We go to a a catholic church that thinks children want to sit through mass, quietly and well behaved for 45 minutes and are shocked when they don't. They have sunday school since the kids starts school.
I am going to look into it, thanks for the ideas!