Teachers - Come in!

RosyGlow · May 2013

Hi Working Moms - I have never posted here before, as I am still TTC #1, but I am trying to think ahead and prepare for the future a little. I have two questions for you all. First, a little background about me: I'm doing IVF, so I can plan ahead a little bit about when we want to do an embryo transfer. While I know it may not work the first time, I'm trying to plan for numerous possible timings. Also, I plan to take 3 months ML, and tack it on to summer, or straddle it around summer.

1) When was your maternity leave? If you could have planned for a certain time for the birth of a baby, what do you think would have worked best for your students and for you to feel okay about taking leave?

2) In summers, do you pull your LO out of daycare or nanny care? I'm curious if day cares are okay with this and will still give you a spot back come September?

Thanks in advance. I hope it's okay that I posted here - even though we are still TTC. It helps me gather as much info and input as possible beforehand.

honeybee111 · May 2013

I'm a teacher, and I had infertility issues, too. I will have to say, with all the physical, emotional, and mental hurdles that come with dealing with infertility, planning a pregnancy around the school calendar was the last thing on my mind. I had my daughter in Jan., and took the rest of the school year off. I'm currently almost due with our second, and will come back to work in November, so I will not be starting the year with my students. I think there is no "ideal" time. There's pros and cons for being out for any part of the year. If you want to try to tie maternity leave with summer break, I would think you want to aim for delivering in March/April, take summer break, and then start the new school year.

For your second question, we had a nanny for DD, and we still used her during my vacations. She was counting on our salary, and we couldn't just say, Oh, you're not going to be paid for 3 months out of the year. The daycares we researched had policies in place where you can't just take breaks during the year without paying.

pitterpatter129 · May 2013

Feb has been a nice bday month! I took all 12 weeks leave and it ran right into summer break. So, my LO will be 6 mo old when I go back in August!

Yes, I pull them from daycare. Our old daycare saved us a spot because they liked us. We just moved and I hope the new daycare will have two spots in Aug. When I pulled DS1 (he still went the first 8 weeks of my leave), she told us we could have "first pick" in the Fall.

MamaAllison · May 2013

Good luck TTC! I am TFAS right now. I am aiming for a Feb/Mar baby so that I can take the rest of the year off and have 6 months at home with the new one before going back to work. Definitely double check with an HR person if you can to see how your ML works. I know some schools give you 3 months starting from your delivery date, even if it is June, then you just get June, July, and August. That's why I'm aiming and hoping and praying for a March kiddo.

As for the summer, many daycares will not let you pull out full time. Mine does but I teach summer school so LO still goes full time until August, when we will just go part time. Mommy needs some alone time!

Soxgirl07 · May 2013

First of all, make sure you know the leave policies in your district. Straddling break around the summer wouldn't be an option here!

I aimed for April with both my babies to have leave run into summer. Didn't work out for either of them, but that was the ideal, so that's when we started TTC for.

We specifically liked for in-home daycare that was geared towards teachers and would let me pull the kids in the summer. We actually ended up with a woman who is open year round but incredibly flexible. I send DS1 2 hours every week during the summer and just pay her (cheap) hourly rate. We don't have to send him/pay during any school vacations, but she'd take him if we wanted.

Reilly626 · May 2013

Lets face it, if you were lucky and plan babies, a spring baby like in march is best, then be out till September. But life doesn't work that way. I took a whole year with my twins and it is the best year of my life! I can never get this time back so it was worth tightening our belts even with twins for me to stay home. I was put out of work in June and had them in July, supposed to be August. I wish I could do another year which I am entitled to but we can't afford it. Best of luck to you!

As far as daycare, it allows teachers to not send and pay their kids during summers or spring breaks or Christmas breaks. Many do this secretly, just ask. Ours definitely caters to teachers. They start in September.

MNgirl326 · May 2013

We got very lucky and got pg the first month we started trying. We started trying in September which put my due date on the last day of school. It was perfect. But with that said, I was pregnant my ENTIRE school year, which was a challenge. Also LO's birthday is always now around the last day of school which means I am always busy with report card stuff, and packing up my room for the summer.

For the next one I am going to start trying a little earlier and hope for more of a spring baby- like april or may and then take off the rest of the year. But if it doesn't work out, oh well, the baby will come when it comes and I will make it work.

Yes, I pull LO for the summer. I have my paychecks prorated through the year, so I can get paid over the summer. So, I pull him over the summer and use the money that would go towards daycare for travel, projects around the house, or getting caught up with any financial things.

LO goes to a daycare center and they are totally flexible for teachers. I just have to pay $100 to hold his spot over the summer.

Temp994124375009771 · May 2013

Many of the teachers at my school use a center that allows them to pull the kids for the summer with a 100 hold deposit.

We have used a nanny for a few years now but she is college age and lives with her parents so she has no problem having the summer off. She just picks up more hours at her part time retail job.

I would not want to pay for my kids to go to daycare in the summer nor would I want to send them when I was home. Hopefully you can find something that will work. Good luck!

katlizabeth · May 2013

Teacher here. My ds was born Feb. 28 and I went back to work on May 11. Dd was born April 5 and I went back around May 20. We loosely "planned" to have spring babies so I would only go back to school for a bit and then have summer. However, we did not have to deal IVF. If we did, I think any planning of timing would have gone out the window. If I had a choice, I would not want someone else to start my school year out for me.

we do pull ds out of daycare for the summer. I've spoken with our daycare, and technically, you're supposed to pay to hold a spot. She gave me the choice of unenrolling him and re-e rolling him in the fall. I asked what were the chances of him losing his spot, and she said she'd call me if there was only one spot left and I needed to enroll him earlier.

dizzycooks · May 2013

We have If issues too and with DD we were just glad it finally worked. She was born in January and I went back for the last 8 weeks and then I had the summer off. It was really nice. We are trying again now and I am hoping for a February or March baby and I'll take the rest of the year off. If that doesn't work, I will take my FMLA leave in the fall and still have a good chunk of time at home.

We only considered daycares that would allow us to pull DD for any of my breaks. We use that money in the summer for house projects and vacation.

teacherjulie · May 2013

With my DD she was born December 22 I went back Feb 18. With my DS he was born March 13 and I went back part time on May 5 3 days a week this week and the following are my last two and working everyday to get IEP's wrapped up. I did not have to go back could have taken the full 12 weeks and it run into summer. I needed to go back for me this time. My daycare is inhome and over the summer my 2 will go one day a week. It is not required I like them staying in their routine with the sitter and not going to lie a day a aweek break is nice

rachboston60 · May 2013

Your question reminds me: when I talked to the HR director at my school about leaving for maternity leave, his reply was "you're having a baby at an inconvenient time." I was so offended! I couldn't think of a good reply in the moment (of course) but what I should have said was that we mamas are lucky to have our babies when they come - no scheduling required.

That being said, it's tricky when you are on a school year schedule. I just want you to know that there really is no "perfect" or "inconvenient" time to have a baby - my kiddo was born the beginning of October, so I started the school year as a beached whale in the beginning of September, worked for about 5 weeks, and then took my maternity leave from Oct - Dec. I started back right after the winter break. I teach 3rd-4th grade, so I was back for all the state testing (spring time). The parents were glad about that.

It wasn't ideal to start the year knowing I was leaving in 5 weeks, but think about the ladies who have babies in April or May - they teach throughout their pregnancies, I at least had most of the summer to relax.

And yes, most daycares will hold your spot over the summer with a deposit of some kind.

getaclue44 · May 2013

I am due with my first on July 23. Per our contract, I get 6 or 8 weeks from the date of birth (not beginning of year). My DH and I are hoping that I can get a doctor's note for extra time if needed to get September off. Due to a number of complications I am on four day work weeks right now and teach my 8th graders from a chair.

We found a day care that will allow us to switch baby from full time to two days a week to hold a spot over the summer months. This will give me the opportunity to do summer school if choose to.

Stephorse · May 2013

I am a teacher. We did not plan a certain time frame for our child to be born. He was due on October 3, but came early on Sept. 23. I took 12 weeks off and came back after Christmas break. It was difficult because we had just started the school year and then I was off and came back. I am the music teacher so the sub had to do my concerts, but this was better than in April or May as there are many contests and concerts at that time of year.

We currently do an in home daycare where he is the only one, so our spot would be held open for us, but we may be moving, so we'll see what happens. I am planning on watching our LO over the summer while DH works.

mle929 · May 2013

DD#1- 14 weeks from very end of September to beginning of Jan. It was hard to start out the year very pregnant. Jumping back in January wasn't ideal, but it was okay.

DD#2- I'm on maternity leave now. It started mid-March and I go back next school year in mid-August. This pg was planned and I became pg right away, so this is my most ideal maternity leave. It's great to know that I have 5 months total with DD#2 before heading back and my students had less transitions. I've also been able to go in to school with my baby and visit my class, which is nice. Oh and I went through my first tri sickness and exaustion during last summer vacation and was lucky to start feeling better at the begining of the school year.

I found a home daycare provider that doesn't make me pay in the summer, so I keep my daugher home with me then. I do however, have her in daycare PT right now until the school year ends b/c I wanted her to keep going during my leave for a variety of reasons. I don't know of any daycare centers that will let you pull your child out during the summer and hold your spot.

dragon_chica · May 2013

We planned and hoped to have a Spring baby but that just didn't happen for both kids! Both kids came mid- or late Sept. to suffice to say it was a bit of a challenge to get the school year started, plan for a long-term sub, and assure parents (I taught Kinder) that everything was going to be alright.

For #1 I job shared her first 2 years and on the days I worked my parents would watch her. During the summer my parents watched her twice a week (they would miss her too much!) and right before she turned 2 we enrolled her into year-round preschool. I gave birth to #2 a couple weeks after DD's 2nd birthday. I had to go back to work FT by that point so my parents watched DS FT for us. They watched him for about a year until we had a huge blowout and I put him in the same daycare that our godson is in. That DCP is teacher-friendly and charged a daily fee, instead of monthly. This summer I plan to have DS go to DC once a week, to my parent's once a week, and then stay home with me. This Fall he will join his sister at the same preschool so next summer when both kids will be in school I plan to work a summer job.

LittleFish1 · May 2013

Found out I was pregnant right before Easter and Spring Break last year. Returned in Aug showing (but had a nice, relaxing summer) and was ready after Halloween week to begin reducing my weeks. The holidays helped me slowly transition out of the classroom and transition in my sub. Each week I taught one less day until I hit Thanksgiving week when I decided it was time to stay home (4 weeks prior to due date; was having trouble sleeping, worried about the possibility of tripping over or getting hit by a students backpack or catching the flu that were going around). LO was born on Dec 10th, my 8 weeks of medical leave due to csection, had me go back in Feb, shortly before Presidents week vacation. I returned where I slowly transitioned back, where I taught 1 day the first week, 2 days the second, etc. The vacation weeks in Dec, Feb and April, and taking intermitent FMLA allowed salvage more sick days for in the future and didnt go back full time until LO was closer to 4 months old. Once I was back full time, there were only 8 weeks left till summer, and I think that has helped me, knowing I had one grading period to learn to balance home and school and then get 8 weeks off for Summer vacation where I can enjoy my LO at 6 and 7 months old.

I was definitly anxious about going back when LO was just over 8 weeks but am glad I didnt take the remainder of the year off because I already know my kids, still have some sick days saved for any illnesses, and already know it is possible to balance home and the classroom (would spend the summer worrying otherwise).

iluvmylab · May 2013

I worked until I went into labor (literally! I got home from work at 4:30 and my water broke 30 minutes later!). I took the full 12 weeks, which put me back around mid-february.

I take LO out for summer, but keep him on a close schedule. This summer since he'll be older, I will do the same activities DC does. My center allows me to pull him out, but bring him for drop-in care as needed. I do this if I have a training I need to go to, need to take care of appointments or errands, or DC is doing a "special" day such as their water fun days, etc. He might go 1-2 times a week.

skibunny59 · May 2013

DD was born late March. It was the perfect time because I took my 6 weeks disability and used my sick days and then I was put on family leave for 12 weeks. The good thing about the family leave is that they stop counting for the summer so my leave wasn't actually up until October 1. If my baby would have been born in the middle of the school year like December or January than my family leave would not have been as long.

It was a little weird coming back October 1 but it worked out fine. I could have come back in the beginning of the school year but I wanted that extra month home with my baby.

My mom takes care of DD so I don't have any experience with daycare but I know a lot of teachers in my school use an in home that is specifically tailored to teachers. They do pull their kids out for the summer. As a matter of fact, that particular inhome daycare is actually closed for the summer. If it were me, I would try to find a place like that where you can pull your LO out for the summer. I mean, isn't that one of the perks of being a teacher?

I would encourage you to take as much time off as you can. In my district, you can technically take a full year and they will hold your position for you even though they don't pay you or continue to pay your health benefits. Even though DD was 6 months old when I went back it was still super hard and I regret not taking more time off with her. With our next baby, we are planning on me being out for a full year. My priorities have definitely changed since having my daughter. I didn't think about school once while out on ML and I didn't worry about how my sub was doing although I did tell her to call or email me anytime she needed anything. And I did call her after the spring concerts to see how they went. I am a music teacher and my leave replacement sub did all of my spring concerts for me. Everything turned out fine.

erbear · May 2013

Good luck with your IVF!

1) When was your maternity leave? If you could have planned for a certain time for the birth of a baby, what do you think would have worked best for your students and for you to feel okay about taking leave?

I had DD1 in February and took the rest of the year off. I went back in September. It was awful. That was too long.

I had DD2 in February and went back in April (she was 9 weeks old). This was actually perfect, since I went back for about 8 weeks then it was summer.

2) In summers, do you pull your LO out of daycare or nanny care? I'm curious if day cares are okay with this and will still give you a spot back come September?

I leave my kids in daycare for 3 days a week at least part of the summer. I have things to do, and if I were to pull them out totally, going back would be a disaster. This year, they're in daycare 3 days a week for July.

jgoetz1 · May 2013

We didn't plan for it, but DS was born in March so it was a perfect timing since I'll be home with him until the end of August. DD was born in September, so I missed the first 3 months of school. I struggled the rest of the year feeling like it wasn't my class, feeling like DD was too young to leave in daycare and also because she was my first and I didn't know what I was doing yet. We plan to try for our third at the end of next summer so we get another spring baby. However, after two miscarriages I've learned that you can't plan everything and babies come when they want to.

I am keeping my kids home with me for the summer and just have to pay for one extra week to hold their spot at daycare.

RosyGlow · May 2013

I just want to thank each of you for responding. This thread and your advice has really helped me think things through and plan for the future. You are all amazing moms and I hope to join you one day!

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