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XH girlfriend drama

vintagebride2010vintagebride2010
in Single Parents
I have been trying be civil with STBXH's new girlfriend. I asked to talk to her in person since she is spending time with DD. She said no which to some degree I understand. But I drafted a text message asking her to let the drama go and be civil for the benefit of DD and the relationship I have to maintain with XH to co parent. Well I sent it to XH and he sent it to her. She took offense to me saying that I'm the mom and I feel that she doesn't have a say in what happens with DD...obviously if DD were doing something dangerous I would want gf to step in. I asked her if we could just move on and be civil but she took offense to me claiming my mommy title and is refusing to even text me. When XH and I split 6 months ago due to his affair with her, she wanted to talk and I said I needed time to deal with everything. Now she is claiming she needs time.
Sorry for the ramble but I am wrong to think she should just say yeah lets be civil and that's that?
On top of all this, she has a picture on facebook of she and DD with comments about her popping out an 11 mo old. It was obviously done with sarcasm but still as the momma it hits my heart and really makes me angry. I asked XH to ask her to take it down...what does she do...make it her profile picture. I know I should just let it go bc I know I am the mom and no one can replace me but it still hurts. I havent dated to make XH have any of these feelings so he thinks I'm just a pain in the a!
Has anyone else had to deal with BD having a gf that isn't so civil?
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Re: XH girlfriend drama

  • tracy41tracy41 member
    I have no advice and I don't know you but I seriously want to track that woman down and punch her in the face for you just for the FB comment alone. Your XH needs to realize she's jeopardizing the coparenting relationship you guys are working on and shut her down. That's just ridiculous.
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  • NavyWifeTrivetteNavyWifeTrivette member
    I caught my husband with another girl back in March, when I was only 14 weeks pregnant. Because I was living in GA with him, I had to pack up all my belonging and leave to come home to CT. Well while I was packing to leave, he came by to help me so I wasn't doing heavy lifting while pregnant, and he brought the girlfriend with him. When I was done packing, I told him i wanted to talk to her before I left because if she was going to stick around even after our son was born I wanted to make sure she knew the rules. My husband was ok with it, but when he asked her, she said no she didn't want to talk. I was down in the kitchen and she was up in the bedroom when this happened. I told my husband I didn't give a f*** what she wanted and I was going to talk to her. So I stormed up the stairs and trapped her in the bedroom so I could talk to her. It sounds worse than it was, I was actually very civil and friendly about it but because I was leaving the state I knew there would not be another chance to talk to her so I had to do it then. I told her I don't care about and and my husband, I just care about my child and if she is going to be involved then she had to be on her best behavior and that if she messed up in any way shape or form then my husband would never see his child again because of her. Once I didn't give her an option, she handled it well and we were actually on really good terms when I left. A couple weeks after I left she actually ended up snapping and drove my husband crazy and they ended up breaking up anyway, but at least I had said my part. If she did stick around and did anything I didn't agree with once my son was born, I would be the first person on her doorstep to beat the *** out of her and I would have no shame for that. She is the other woman, not the mother, and not the wife. You have every right to tell her where its at and to tell her how it is going to be.
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  • BabyVmakes5BabyVmakes5 member
    I just met my xh new wife (who he was dating while I was pregnant with our son) a few weeks ago.  I had never talked to her before that, but since we don't live close to them she hadn't been much of a factor in our kids lives.  I think if she's taking offense to the fact you're calling yourself the mom and saying you'll still be making the decision with the child's father....that is her insecurity. And honestly, you need to work that out with your xh.  He is the one that is responsible for her not stepping over the line. If he can't/doesn't then that's a situation that maybe needs to be escalated with a mediator during the divorce process.   
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