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How to politely say STHU

ScarlettVScarlettV member
in December 2013 Moms
Mobile bumping: How to politely say STHU

Has anyone run into an instance in which someone else flat out tells you a desicion you're making for your baby/pregnancy is wrong? I'm not talking abiut superstitious moms or little things like that...but big things.

There are a few ppl who know who have shocked me lately by telling me something I was going to do was utterly wrong. They have kids and seem to now be experts. For example one friend told me not to have a dental Xray as it was EXTREMELY dangerous for baby. Another said that u/s are dangerous and I shouldnt have those either....because she didn't go to the dr at all for her last two pregnancies......well, good for you.

Okay I respect your opinion but please don't disrespect mine. These people mean well but are so pushy it's bugging me. I'm not sure how to say please stop nagging me, I'm going to bite your head off....
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Re: How to politely say STHU

  • PinkinProvencePinkinProvence member
    Not cool especially since your friends are severely misinformed!

    D & L are here at 34 weeks 4 days by vaginal and breech delivery on 11/19/2013
    Two healthy boys weighing 4 lbs 15 ozs and 4 lbs 5 ozs.  Only 6 days in the NICU and getting bigger, stronger and cuter every day! 
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  • ScarlettVScarlettV member
    imagePinkinProvence:
    Not cool especially since your friends are severely misinformed!


    Exactly. But heaven forbid I suggest such a thing. Sigh.
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  • shortms6shortms6 member
    Just say, "thanks for the advice but I'm going to go with what my doctor tells me" or just smile and nod.  



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  • GTown08GTown08 member
    I think you already said it.  "I respect your opinion but please respect mine."  If that doesn't work, go with Shortms's suggestion.  And if all else fails, I think STHU works at that point.
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  • swirl25swirl25 member
    OMG, my MIL has driven me crazay about getting u/s! She is into natural medicine and is convinced that if I get "too many" u/s, the baby will come out with 6 eyes or something. I've already had 3 u/s for this baby due to my spotting and now resolved SCH. We went thru this with DD too...I had an issue where they needed to periodically check her growth, so I had several more u/s than normal. She is absolutely 100 percent healthy.

    My MIL definitely harps on things, to the point where you want to throttle her sometimes! I just firmly tell her that for DH and I, the peace of mind we get from utilizing medical technology is worth it to me, and that I trust my doctor's judgement. I definitely let her know politely that it's our kid, our decision and do not leave it open to discussion.
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  • amberproamberpro member

    imageshortms6:
    Just say, "thanks for the advice but I'm going to go with what my doctor tells me" or just smile and nod.  

    That's what I'd say... Thanks [not really] for your [unwanted] opinion, but I will discuss those things with my doctor.   

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    Lilypie - (JzKZ) Lilypie - (DgGJ)

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  • robbie3982robbie3982 member
    imageScarlettV:
    Mobile bumping: How to politely say STHU Has anyone run into an instance in which someone else flat out tells you a desicion you're making for your baby/pregnancy is wrong? I'm not talking abiut superstitious moms or little things like that...but big things. There are a few ppl who know who have shocked me lately by telling me something I was going to do was utterly wrong. They have kids and seem to now be experts. For example one friend told me not to have a dental Xray as it was EXTREMELY dangerous for baby. Another said that u/s are dangerous and I shouldnt have those either....because she didn't go to the dr at all for her last two pregnancies......well, good for you. Okay I respect your opinion but please don't disrespect mine. These people mean well but are so pushy it's bugging me. I'm not sure how to say please stop nagging me, I'm going to bite your head off....


    Maybe I'm missing something, but xrays during pregnancy ARE a big no no.  I thought they were only done in emergency situations...
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  • ScarlettVScarlettV member
    imageamberpro:

    imageshortms6:
    Just say, "thanks for the advice but I'm going to go with what my doctor tells me" or just smile and nod.  

    That's what I'd say... Thanks [not really] for your [unwanted] opinion, but I will discuss those things with my doctor.   



    Lol....this I like.
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  • kate4776kate4776
    when I told my aunt my news, she said, "well I hope you're not planning to find out what you're having! That will ruin the pregnancy for you and you won't love the baby as much when it comes." um?! (We ARE planning on finding out the sex, and I completely disagree with that statement.) I tried to stay polite and said that I disagree and I will be happy with whatever I get, and I really don't think I'll have any hunches on what it'll be like before it comes, just what sex it is. It was hard to stay polite because she kept going on and on, but luckily my other aunt interrupted us after a few minutes (who is thrilled with my news and only has positive comments). Thank goodness for the interruption! I probably would have just walked away mid-conversation, which I hate doing to people I actually like.
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  • ScarlettVScarlettV member
    Edit: this didnt quote but response to Robbie:

    Its Dental. No, it's not. I discussed this with my OB, midwife, and dentist. It is fine and safe. Having one will not hurt baby. All they say is check with your OB first, especially if you are high risk or something unusual.
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  • InkfulInkful member
    imageScarlettV:
    Edit: this didnt quote but response to Robbie:

    Its Dental. No, it's not. I discussed this with my OB, midwife, and dentist. It is fine and safe. Having one will not hurt baby. All they say is check with your OB first, especially if you are high risk or something unusual.


    I agree. Given how targeted dental xrays are, they seem reasonably safe to me no more dangerous than sushi or lunch meat especially when you add a lead shield into the mix.
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  • hlklieschhlkliesch member

    If all else fails, this might work ...

     SHUT UP!

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    Married June 16, 2012

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  • adawn1981adawn1981 member
    :(  I have not been polite in about 2 months..  If you want to be nice just try saying "thanks" and ignoring their advice and continuing to do what you were doing.. or I would probably just say STHU!  LOL

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  • Mommy128Mommy128 member
    Your friend is the kid if patient doctors call child protective services on. If you show up for delivery, without any doctor visits that is pretty concerning and neglectful. Do what you're doing..tell everyone else to mind their business!
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  • katmb2013katmb2013 member

    imageshortms6:
    Just say, "thanks for the advice but I'm going to go with what my doctor tells me" or just smile and nod.  

    This.  If telling them nicely doesn't work, then I would probably tell them to mind their own business and that if I ever have a question I want their input on, I'll ask. 

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  • kaieceekaiecee member
    Dental Xrays are ok I had two emergency ones with my last and there is no harm done even my dr. Told me its not like a bone Xray very different
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