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Blended Families
Pamelacake
member
update on SD's being drugged while with BM
Pamelacake
member
I haven't posted in a minute about this but just wanted to update.
There really isn't a lot to update..It has been 3 weeks and CPS just came out to interview the children on Friday. She wouldn't have even been here then. I had to call the school counselor to see if there was anything she could do or give any advice. She called me back with the CPS officer's name and number.
When DH called the CPS agent that he met at the hospital, He was very rude with him and said he would have someone call him back. We had no idea they had sent it to another county. We waited a week to hear something so I contacted the school counselor.
We are so greatful that BM decided to spend Mother's day weekend at the bar instead of getting SD's because DH was going to risk contempt anyways.
Now we are worried about this weekend. She may or may not want them.. who knows. She always says she does but usually doesn't even show up and ends up at the bar instead, her choice. We know they are safe while they are here and that really helps.
BM has only followed through with 5 of her visits since this began last december. and they have only had two overnights with her. The last time they stayed with her she clearly stated that she Honestly wanted to see them this time because DH was going to have her thrown in jail for contempt the following monday. That was the saturday night they were given the white "yucky pill"
Like I said, I don't post much and I am not trying to bash BM. I simply want these children to be safe. She has never cared for them on her own and if the judge would have looked into things, she wouldn't have gotten the EOWE that she is entitled to.
We were told by a couple of different attorneys as well as one of the 6yo's counselors to "bluff her". I just don't feel that CPS, The Police, anyone involved that was here that evening are taking this seriously, even though they all, including the paramedics said there was something clearly wrong with SD's. They wouldn't give DH an emergency no contact thing. They said those don't exist in our county!!!
Any ideas, something we aren't thinking of.. anything.... anyone. Help!!
My Loves= SD 18 SS 16 SS13 DD13 DS10 SD6 SD5
This discussion has been closed.
Re: update on SD's being drugged while with BM
In case no one explained this to you, it's normal for CPS to transfer cases to other counties to follow up on to prevent someone knowing someone related or involved in the case. This is common.
As far as it not existing in your county - that is very odd. Then I'd just refuse to give her overnight visits. If she threatens to take you to court, say, "Good. We were planning on taking you anyway, so we are on the same page." Your lawyer can call my lawyer. Here is their name and number."
If the lawyers you talked to are not helping you with a plan of action to modify the custody agreement that limits her ability to see the children over night, then find one that will. Keep looking.
Failure to do so, and just defying a court order will get you into trouble, as well as put your children back into her hands. So get moving on it and get it taken care of ASAP. And track and record EVERYTHING.
Yeah, I knew it was common for them to do that but they didn't tell DH they had done this. The last time CPS was involved they didn't transfer it to the other county but I guess they did this time because it was a more severe incident like beating a child isn't.
We are still looking for an attorney and I document everything. all text messages are saved. I record all voicemails and phone conversations. Because she is a certified pathological liar, bipolar and just flat out crazy. She will say something and then two minutes later say she never said it. DH went to the courthouse even after I called right after this incident and he was also told there was nothing they could do as far as a emergency restraining or no contact order. He will have to go in front of a judge to get one approved. I'm going to have him call the CPS agent bback to see if she will give him something, someone told me they could step in and do that.
From the last time CPS was involved due to the school calling about 6yo SD having bruises on her, and she said they came from her paternal grandfather, It states in their conclusion of that case that neither SD is to be left unsupervised with him and the last time BM saw them 6yo SD spent the day with him while 5yo SD spent the day with BM and her boyfriend.
My Loves= SD 18 SS 16 SS13 DD13 DS10 SD6 SD5
Has she been diagnosed as bi-polar by a professional?
If this is the way she is on a regular basis, and all of these already recorded incidents, then there should not be an issue with getting supervised visitation. But it's not going to happen until you file.
Find a GOOD LAWYER NOW and get moving. That should be number one priority.
We aren't sure yet. I'm sure CPS has the rest of the urinalisys back but we don't know. She told the police it was a vitamin. She told my sister in law last week it was a half of a melatonin.
Bm's boyfriend's 7yo son is on a prescription medication that he takes at night and DH thinks that's what it was. Still waiting for the results on that. They refused to do a blood draw at the hospital after CPS asked them to so DH asked them to and he was told they were too young and to take them to their dr. They went to the Dr. that Monday and they said it would be too late to detect so it wasn't necessary. My MIL took them to that appointment and I don' t trust that she even pushed the issue due to MIL trying to get along with BM so they can hang out at the same bar even though there is a no contact order between the 2 so that is really frustrating.
My Loves= SD 18 SS 16 SS13 DD13 DS10 SD6 SD5
yes she has been diagnosed with that among other things. She is also legally blind and cannot care for the children by herself. We have filed the paperwork on our own but cannot get into the courtroom without an attorney. I fully agree an attorney is definitely needed. We are looking for an attorney. No one that we have spoken with so far wants to take on the case of a BF who has custody in front of the family court judge in our county. So I will be making phone calls to attorneys in another county in the morning. Thanks = )
ETA: I have another list of attorneys ready to contact.
My Loves= SD 18 SS 16 SS13 DD13 DS10 SD6 SD5
While I sure you feel justified doing it, you should probably stop recording phone conversations unless you have BM's permission. Check with your lawyer, but without permission, this is illegal.
I'm sorry that your SD's are being treated like this, I hope that things settle down soon and they are safe.
Schrodinger- not necessarily, in my state it's perfectly legal to record a phone call so long as one party on the line knows it's recorded. That is how I got a protective order from my Ex for death threats.
OP: please do check your state laws because it is illegal in some states.
Mary: https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/73933687/ShowThread.aspx
We have had two emergecy reatraining orders in the past, and we currently have one active one. Every time, our attorney had it in court by 9am the next morning, and we had multiple copies to give school, caregivers, etc the following day.
Emergency means that it gets moved to the front of the docket for the following business day. And once you have spoken with your attorney and begun to file, begun a plan of action, then you can safely follow through with said plan with little fear of being held in contempt.
I also think you should follow counselors' and attorneys' advice and 'bluff' her. The children's safety is number one priority over all else right now.
And another thing I keepnseeing in your posts... You continue to be sensitive to the BM and her 'parental rights.' Stop. She forfeited those right and privileges when she decided to quit parenting.
Thank you all. It is legal in our state as long as one party on the recording knows about it and I have also let her know that I save, document and record everything. She still contradicts herself constantly.
I know I am sensitive to her but she has made it very easy to change my mind. These kids come first. I have 0 respect for her.
Thank you so much for that info ambrvan I will have DH do this in the morning. at this point I don't care if I have to sell everything I own and still pay an attorney for the rest of my life. Listening to these recordings as I type them out really ticks me off. the way she talks to them and everything. 6yo SD sees three counselors. We were advise months ago to monitor their phone conversations with BM because she would constantly lie to them. and still does.I can't wait to get this into gear.
Thank you all so much. and thank you for the T&P Twister. You guys are awesome.
My Loves= SD 18 SS 16 SS13 DD13 DS10 SD6 SD5
This whole situation frustrates me. How can so many agencies let these children down? The hospital refusing to take blood work, the court not allowing an emergency order with the aid of a lawyer, etc.
As much as I have disliked some of the courts decisions in our case, at least an emergency hearing and order isn't that hard to come by. In our case, BM was taking the kids out of the country and was able to walk into the court house, show the CO that stated she could take the kids out, and walk out an hour later with an emergency order stating it was okay for the passport agency/ military to issues passports. Signed by the judge in an hour! That was no emergency IMO. Other emergency hearings/ orders have been easy to come by as well. Yet, a regular hearing/ order takes months to issue.
I really hope this all works out in the long run. I would most definitely risk contempt in this case.
He will be risking it for sure.
I Did just get off of the phone with 2 different attorneys. They one I really wanted wants 3 grand up from for an emergency order and there's no possible way we can do that in two days. I may ask a couple of people if I can borrow. I have some money but not that much.
The second one I talked to, I liked. He let me take up about a half an hour of his time without rushing me. and that didn't cover half of it! He wants to meet DH in his office and give him a free consultation to go over options. He said not to send the kids if she does show up. I have been saving money back for a rainy day so I have enough for his retainer.
One of 6YO SD's counselors called me today to see if everything was moving along and told me that unfortunately it's a slow process. But she did tell me that Everyone at the school and Her regular office is so Happy that I am so involved with SD because they have seen so many positive changes in her. She told me she loved me for that, just being a stepmother and caring so much. I already knew that they were on our side because they call regularly, and go out of their way to help. So that's very reassuring. And I know they would be on board to go to court if necessary.
Now I just can't wait for DH to get home so I can have him call this atty and get his butt in there!
My Loves= SD 18 SS 16 SS13 DD13 DS10 SD6 SD5
Good luck and keep us updated! I'll keep my fingers crossed for your family.
My Loves= SD 18 SS 16 SS13 DD13 DS10 SD6 SD5