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Any ideas how to punish a 4yo

Littlejen22Littlejen22 member
in Blended Families
That refuses to listen? I asked DD to help clean up and put away a bag, she says no and I ask again so she wrinkles it up. I tell her to go in her room and she refuses. I wish I could think of natural consequences but instead I take away stuff until she cares which makes no sense! She almost laughs now and wants me to physically put her in timeout. Well honestly I made her go to her room and told her not to come out until she naps.
Jen - Mom to two December 12 babies Nathaniel 12/12/06 and Addison 12/12/08
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Re: Any ideas how to punish a 4yo

  • MrsBPOMrsBPO member

    If she doesn't put the bag away and just says no, I put the bag in her hand and tell her in a firm voice "I.said.put.it.away.Now.Put.It.Away."  If she doesn't I *walk* her to where it goes and make stand there behind her until it's put away.

    I don't tell her go to her room.  I *put* her in the room if she's not cooperating.  If she gets up, I put her back.  She gets up again, I put her back again.  And not just to her room since that's where the toys are but on her bed with no toys.  And I stand there to make sure it's enforced, or I close the door if she's screaming about how "it's not faaaaaaaair."

    Mean Mommy voice, Jen, Mean Mommy voice.  It comes in handy.

     


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  • +just+j++just+j+ member

    I'm with BPO.  That's what I do too. Even if she doesn't seem to care, it's still a consequence and you get a time out yourself to calm down if it's upset you or have a little time to yourself.

    "he offered her the world. she said she had her own" - poet Monique Duval
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  • SimpleJaneSimpleJane member
    imageMrsBPO:
    If she doesn't put the bag away and just says no, I put the bag in her hand and tell her in a firm voice "I.said.put.it.away.Now.Put.It.Away."nbsp; If she doesn't I walk her to where it goes and make stand there behind her until it's put away.I don't tell her go to her room.nbsp; I put her in the room if she's not cooperating.nbsp; If she gets up, I put her back.nbsp; She gets up again, I put her back again.nbsp; And not just to her room since that's where the toys are but on her bed with no toys.nbsp; And I stand there to make sure it's enforced, or I close the door if she's screaming about how "it's not faaaaaaaair."Mean Mommy voice, Jen, Mean Mommy voice.nbsp; It comes in handy.nbsp;


    Pretty much this exactly.
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  • hindsight's_a_biotchhindsight's_a_biotch member

    In this case, I would have bodily carried her to time out and then she would sit there until she was ready to clean. I really hate it when they try to front like a punishment means getting out of what I asked them to do.

    The natural consequence of not cleaning up is not being able to play or have fun until you do. 



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  • Littlejen22Littlejen22 member
    imageMrsBPO:
    If she doesn't put the bag away and just says no, I put the bag in her hand and tell her in a firm voice "I.said.put.it.away.Now.Put.It.Away."nbsp; If she doesn't I walk her to where it goes and make stand there behind her until it's put away.I don't tell her go to her room.nbsp; I put her in the room if she's not cooperating.nbsp; If she gets up, I put her back.nbsp; She gets up again, I put her back again.nbsp; And not just to her room since that's where the toys are but on her bed with no toys.nbsp; And I stand there to make sure it's enforced, or I close the door if she's screaming about how "it's not faaaaaaaair."Mean Mommy voice, Jen, Mean Mommy voice.nbsp; It comes in handy.nbsp;

    I have to figure the difference between mean mommy and yelling because I am mad Mommy! And she would rAther the punishment than doing what I asked. She was tired which made it worse so she is sleeping right now. I think I need to remember to not do the task for her and leave it until she does it no am just at a loss when she wrinkles it because then it was garbage.
    Jen - Mom to two December 12 babies Nathaniel 12/12/06 and Addison 12/12/08
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  • Ginlyn0Ginlyn0 member
    I have "helped" the kids at that age by taking their hands in mine and picking up the items and walking them to where they need to go and placing them there. That's actually how I taught DD to clean up as a toddler originally so if she was non-compliant I resorted to the same method. That way they are still the ones doing it and they know saying "no" doesn't work. They still have to go through the motions.
    DD(14),SD(13),SS(11),SS(9),DS(3)

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  • proudworkingmom82proudworkingmom82 member
    I'm having the same problem with my 4.5 year old.  She does not mind!  I make her go to timeout even though unfortunately it doesn't do much good.
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  • bebe11bebe11 member
    I would physically put her in time out, leave the bag just where she dropped it and after time out I would have her pick up the bag.  If she didn't pick up the bag, she would go back to time out.  Have a specific time out spot for her too, not her bedroom, especially if there are things in there for her to play with.

     

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  • WahooWahoo member

    Definately make her clean up after the time out is over.  If she doesn't clean up, the goes back into TO.

    There is also a "mom box" on pinterest (I saw it on FB) that if a child's things are all over the floor, they go into the box at the end of the night and then the child has to pick a chore to earn it back. 

    Would singing Barney's "clean up" song work?  That is what worked with my DS (not with DD). 

     Or have a race to see who can pick up the fastest (this worked for my DD) - - you pick a chore you do (wipe off the counters), and DD cleans up after herself.  If she wants to switch and SHE cleans the counters, while you  pick up her stuff, then I would let her clean counters.  It's just an exchange of chores.

    image "Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, first make sure you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes.
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