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How do things change so quickly?

socloudy99socloudy99 member
in Blended Families

Last week SS13 (and SD but the situation isn't about her) found out they were getting honors for the year for their grades. Students could submit a speech for the program if they wanted and 4 students would be selected to speak at the program. SS found out he was selected last week. BM#1 (and the rest of us) were so proud of him and made a big deal about it. Saturday they went to the school dance, BM#1 got them a limo, and they took them for pizza afterward. All was wonderful and fun.

Today SS is disrespectful, BM#1 doesn't know what to do with him, SS said he doesn't want her to come to the program, and BM#1 is yelling at DH that somehow this is his fault.

How does he go from the perfect kid to enemy #1 in 24 hours? I am so confused! BM#1 does have a history of hiding his bad behavior when an event is coming up because she knows DH will not let him attend if he is on punishment. Then as soon as the event is over DH is supposed to do something about his behavior. BM#1 will not admit to or acknowledge this behavior. She will argue till the sun comes up this has nothing to do with SSs actions.

I am just frustrated with this cycle over and over. IDK how to get off the wheel. If history has proven anything the PA will start now so BM#1 can be the good guy and try to make DH bad. Lots of "I take you to school, I cook dinner, I take care of you, and your dad doesn't do any of that during the week" It is getting so old. This is mostly a vent but if you have anything to offer I am all ears.

Additional: BM#1 is mom to SD17 and SS13. SS is way more independent than SD ever ways. Several times a week SD17 still sleeps with BM. He is just not as much of an attachment kid as SD and it has always bothered her.

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Re: How do things change so quickly?

  • HisChamaoleGirlHisChamaoleGirl member
    imagesocloudy99:

    Last week SS13 (and SD but the situation isn't about her) found out they were getting honors for the year for their grades. Students could submit a speech for the program if they wanted and 4 students would be selected to speak at the program. SS found out he was selected last week. BM#1 (and the rest of us) were so proud of him and made a big deal about it. Saturday they went to the school dance, BM#1 got them a limo, and they took them for pizza afterward. All was wonderful and fun.

    Today SS is disrespectful, BM#1 doesn't know what to do with him, SS said he doesn't want her to come to the program, and BM#1 is yelling at DH that somehow this is his fault.

    How does he go from the perfect kid to enemy #1 in 24 hours? I am so confused! BM#1 does have a history of hiding his bad behavior when an event is coming up because she knows DH will not let him attend if he is on punishment. Then as soon as the event is over DH is supposed to do something about his behavior. BM#1 will not admit to or acknowledge this behavior. She will argue till the sun comes up this has nothing to do with SSs actions.

    I am just frustrated with this cycle over and over. IDK how to get off the wheel. If history has proven anything the PA will start now so BM#1 can be the good guy and try to make DH bad. Lots of "I take you to school, I cook dinner, I take care of you, and your dad doesn't do any of that during the week" It is getting so old. This is mostly a vent but if you have anything to offer I am all ears.

    Additional: BM#1 is mom to SD17 and SS13. SS is way more independent than SD ever ways. Several times a week SD17 still sleeps with BM. He is just not as much of an attachment kid as SD and it has always bothered her.

    If the bolded is "normal" for her to think and say is it an option to have SS during the week and BM have him on the weekends? I'm just saying if she's complaining about it, why not relieve her of that "stress."

    BFP #1 11/07/2012 EDD 07/09/2013 M/C 11/22/2012

    BFP #2 02/05/2013 EDD 09/19/2013 Arrived via c-section 09/27/2013

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

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  • socloudy99socloudy99 member
    image*HiS ChAmAoLe GiRL*:
    imagesocloudy99:

    Last week SS13 (and SD but the situation isn't about her) found out they were getting honors for the year for their grades. Students could submit a speech for the program if they wanted and 4 students would be selected to speak at the program. SS found out he was selected last week. BM#1 (and the rest of us) were so proud of him and made a big deal about it. Saturday they went to the school dance, BM#1 got them a limo, and they took them for pizza afterward. All was wonderful and fun.

    Today SS is disrespectful, BM#1 doesn't know what to do with him, SS said he doesn't want her to come to the program, and BM#1 is yelling at DH that somehow this is his fault.

    How does he go from the perfect kid to enemy #1 in 24 hours? I am so confused! BM#1 does have a history of hiding his bad behavior when an event is coming up because she knows DH will not let him attend if he is on punishment. Then as soon as the event is over DH is supposed to do something about his behavior. BM#1 will not admit to or acknowledge this behavior. She will argue till the sun comes up this has nothing to do with SSs actions.

    I am just frustrated with this cycle over and over. IDK how to get off the wheel. If history has proven anything the PA will start now so BM#1 can be the good guy and try to make DH bad. Lots of "I take you to school, I cook dinner, I take care of you, and your dad doesn't do any of that during the week" It is getting so old. This is mostly a vent but if you have anything to offer I am all ears.

    Additional: BM#1 is mom to SD17 and SS13. SS is way more independent than SD ever ways. Several times a week SD17 still sleeps with BM. He is just not as much of an attachment kid as SD and it has always bothered her.

    If the bolded is "normal" for her to think and say is it an option to have SS during the week and BM have him on the weekends? I'm just saying if she's complaining about it, why not relieve her of that "stress."

    It has came close. This has been discussed several times in the last two years. When it gets down to filing the paperwork she always backs out because she doesn't want him to change schools. We currently can't sell our house. We owe more then it's worth. It is impossible with our work schedules for him to go to school 30 minutes away with all his after school practices and time in general. If we do change custodial parents I want him to do it this summer before he starts high school but we will see.

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