- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Blended Families
emme022
member
Pick up/drop off question
emme022
member
I am pretty sure this is ok but just wanted to check with other people. In SO's CO it says "Mother shall transport child at the beginning of Father's parenting time and the Father shall transport at the end of his parenting time." One of this weeks pick ups coincides with a really important interview SO has so he messaged BM to let her know I would be picking up LO instead. She has not responded, and there's a good chance she won't. No one but SO has ever done pick up or drop off and I was just wondering if she can refuse and say only he is allowed to do it if that isn't stated in there CO. BM has never done a pick up or drop off(it also says in the CO that father will transport the child until mother has a vehicle of her own or regular use of one(which she does but SO's lawyer said it doesn't matter since there's no way to "prove" it). His lawyer told him at the time that they can not order her to do any of the transportation if she doesn't have a car..I'm starting to think maybe that wasn't accurate but o well. The point of that is that her having someone else do it has not ever come up. She agreed to do a pick up once after a holiday since it was a later pick up and SO had to be at work right after but she sent her mother and father and she has often not been at the house for a pick up drop off and instead it has been her sister, mother etc. But I am not sure if that counts as "the same" since they aren't actually transporting except for that once.
I know that was long but I just basically wanted to know if she can tell him, based on the CO, that he can't send someone else or refuse to give me LO when I get there(which if she does I will just walk away, let SO know as soon as he is done so he can go pick her up and then he will make note of it because I do not want to cause problems or anything) Thanks for any input.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Pick up/drop off question
It's BS that SO has to do all the driving. How does BM get to work, doctor appointments, etc? She should be able to provide transportation for her child. And if she has use to a car she should definitely be doing driving.
IMO, I don't think she can refuse. SO should say "Since you will not be providing transportation per the CO, emcmac will be picking LO up on x/x." Also, I think he needs to say something about her not doing any driving when she has use of a vehicle. I would have SO email her about that, stating that since she has regular use of x car, that he expects that she does drop offs now. He expects this to start happening by x/x date or he will be filing contempt.
She doesn't work but does take LO to the dr, out to do stuff etc and she also has a 4 month old that she is able to transport to wherever he needs to go. There is always the same car, the one BM uses, there at pick ups/drop offs so SO took pictures every time but was told that was not enough. He talked to her around november about her still not doing any driving and she said she was pregnant and it was ridiculous of him to expect that of her. He emailed about it a while later and she said that she is working on getting a car and will let him know when she does but until then he needs to be doing it and although he may have seen her around town driving that doesn't mean she has "regular use". She then deleted her email address and claims to have no internet access so he is no longer able to email him(she would never respond to the emails just read them and hand him a letter to address them.) He also wrote her a letter about a month ago again saying she needs to start doing half of the driving and there is always the same car there every drop off and pick up(except for the times someone else is there and then the car is gone) and he wanted to know when she was going to start doing transportation and she never responded. It is one of the things he is going to bring up when they go back to court, but that will not be for another year. I just have no idea what else he can do which sucks.
Also the reason why the not doing any driving is so frustrating is that they have 50/50 so theres pu/do 3 times a week. And SO has had to figure out a job schedule and soon a school schedule to do around that which has been doable but difficult.
IT only says the part I put in quotes in my original post, SO def plans on having something put in about him being able to appoint someone when they go back to court. At the moment it doesn't say they can appoint someone but also doesn't say only the parents can do transportation etc.
I should add that he has 50/50 custody so the transportation is 3 times a week. If she does refuse he may bring up her having other people at PU/DO instead of her to see if she will change her mind but I don't know. I'm hoping there just ends up being no problem but that has rarely seemed to be the case.
BM has regular use of a vehicle. You have documented evidence to prove this. She has regular use of a vehicle and SO is still doing 100% of the driving. Since she could drop off and is refusing to, SO is appointing someone else - you.
YH needs to contact her and say that you will be picking up the child, and she needs to let him know within 24 hours if that is a problem.
Whenever I need an answer from XH, the first time I just ask. "Are you planning to try and see DS during spring break this year?" If I do not get an answer, the next time I phrase it as "If you are planning to see DS during spring break this year, please let me know by the end of Feb."
As for the car, I don't think there is anything you can do unless you change the CO.