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I don't think she enjoys bed sharing

chizekgeenachizekgeena
in Attachment Parenting
I need help! Our daughter is almost 9 months and we have bed shared since day 1. She starts off the night in her pack n play and then when we go to bed around 10 she will start wiggling and wanting to come in with us. After this she will usually fall asleep by nursing. During the night she will literally toss and turn and whimper even though it appears she is still sleeping. She was teething a few weeks ago but this has been going on for the last 2 months and now that her teeth have broken through she continues to toss and turn. The only way I can get her to stop is by nursing her which means she is on my boob pretty much the entire night. Is this a sign that she doesn't sleep well with us? How do I even go about with getting her into her crib in another room? Will I need to night wean also if she nurses for comfort. I am so confused! I initially wanted to have a huge family bed with all of our (future) babies all sleeping together but this goes against all those plans. I slept with my parents till I was 7 years old and then I was moved to a sibling bed so having my daughter in her own bed all night is such a foreign idea to me. Help ladies!
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Re: I don't think she enjoys bed sharing

  • Emerald27Emerald27 member
    She might just be dreaming or a restless sleeper, but if it's keeping you up you don't need to continue it. Not all babies love cosleeping, and some like to earlier and others later. Not all hope for a family bed is lost if she doesn't sleep in your bed now!

    Anyhow, instead of transferring her to a crib in her own room, have you considered sidecarring the crib next to your bed? You could pop a side off and raise or lower the mattress to the level of your bed, basically extending your bed into that space. Then nurse her to sleep as you usually do and slide her over into her own space. She'll have room to flop while you sleep undisturbed, and you can gently scoop her into bed with you to nurse whenever she needs it.

    If it doesn't work out and she's more restless or fussy sleeping in her own space, you can try cosleeping again. Good luck!
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  • Ms. LisiMs. Lisi member

    imageEmerald27:
    She might just be dreaming or a restless sleeper, but if it's keeping you up you don't need to continue it. Not all babies love cosleeping, and some like to earlier and others later. Not all hope for a family bed is lost if she doesn't sleep in your bed now! Anyhow, instead of transferring her to a crib in her own room, have you considered sidecarring the crib next to your bed? You could pop a side off and raise or lower the mattress to the level of your bed, basically extending your bed into that space. Then nurse her to sleep as you usually do and slide her over into her own space. She'll have room to flop while you sleep undisturbed, and you can gently scoop her into bed with you to nurse whenever she needs it. If it doesn't work out and she's more restless or fussy sleeping in her own space, you can try cosleeping again. Good luck!

     

    This.  Babies are people, and they change their minds about what they like, sometimes.  Don't sweat it.  DD did, and now she sleeps in her crib, and actually likes it, which helps me sleep better.  (The video monitor doesn't hurt, either.)

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  • NerdyMama2NerdyMama2 member
    If she doesn't like it, don't continue with it. If you have a video monitor, use it. Trust me, it will really help you keep your sanity at night!
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  • hollowstarhollowstar member

    Does she have plenty of space? I wouldn't assume that tossing and turning means she is unhappy sleeping with you, especially if nursing calms her down. 

    IDK if you use a potty or just diapers at this point but for my son, lots of restlessness always meant he had to pee. He would hold it and nurse and nurse and nurse trying to ignore it and fall asleep. OR he would nurse a ton when he was wet. Seems obvious but could be she is trying to stay dry.

    I would make sure you give her plenty of room -- We have a twin up against our queen bed so that my son has extra space, but also the option to crawl over to me as desired. I highly doubt that she would prefer to actually be in her own room, but if you suspect that is true, maybe a Montessori-style floor bed.  

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  • AshleighW13AshleighW13 member
    All babies are different. I slept in bed with my mom til I was 5 or 6 and my middle sister slept with my parents until she was 3 then came to sleep with me until I went to college. (There's a 12 year difference between me and her I was 18 and she was 6.) My son is 3 and used to love sleeping with us, but he's on an independence kick now and wants his bed. My youngest sister wanted no part of co-sleeping ever. She likes her bed and only her bed. I had to share a bed with her when we were out of town for my uncles wedding and she didn't sleep the entire time.
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  • cpmichcpmich member
    All kids are different so you just have toffigure out what is right for her as an individual. I think I remember mine having growth spurts around 12 months and 9 months, so she might actually be hungry...
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