Does he pay?

Sunday924 · May 2013

SS (5) needs glasses. BM told DH the day she was taking him to the doctor the day of. She told him he needed glasses and she wanted him to have 2 pair. When she sent a picture of two pair DH said he liked one of the pair. This was all through txt. He came our house with glasses last Friday. FF to today she txt asking for our address (we haven't moved in 3 years) so she can send the invoice.

BM works at a designer glasses place. She bought SS 2 very expensive glasses with all the specs such as transition lenses etc.Now she wants DH to pay for half. DH doesn't think a 5 yo needs 2 pair of glasses and especially not 2 pair that are thousands of dollars (she does get a discount). So should DH have to pay her half if she didn't run cost or anything by him before?

Sunday924 · May 2013

No he never said one pair. She txt he thinks he needs two pair and then sent 2 pictures. He said he liked one of the pair she sent (in pictures). He never agreed to anything. I think he should pay half of one pair and that's it.

hindsight's_a_biotch · May 2013

He pays for half and next time, he let's her know how much he reasonably expects to pay for his half with the understanding that she eats the cost of going over OR calls you first to justify a higher price point.

I mean I think it's odd that she bought the kid transitions lenses. But she did buy him glasses, glasses the kid will use. It's not like the bought a television that she's gonna use, kwim?

I don't think it's weird that she bought him two pair though. First off, the place I take my kids, two pair is part of some deal. Secondly, I have a kid who went through 8 pair in four years so yeah.

fellesferie · May 2013

I think it's reasonable to expect a 5-yo would need at least two pairs of glasses. If my 8-yo needed glasses, I'd buy him two pairs. But they would not be expensive and they would only have the options that would help keep them in one piece.

Maybe figure out what one normal pair of kid glasses costs? Or have her give you an itemized bill and you can tell her you aren't paying for the transitions type stuff?

Sunday924 · May 2013

fellesferie:
I think it's reasonable to expect a 5-yo would need at least two pairs of glasses. If my 8-yo needed glasses, I'd buy him two pairs. But they would not be expensive and they would only have the options that would help keep them in one piece.
Maybe figure out what one normal pair of kid glasses costs? Or have her give you an itemized bill and you can tell her you aren't paying for the transitions type stuff?

A normal pair where she works or a normal pair in general? I think the could get a pair of glasses at Walmart for 100 bucks but where she works they are all super outrageous.

fellesferie · May 2013

Sunday924:

A normal pair where she works or a normal pair in general? I think the could get a pair of glasses at Walmart for 100 bucks but where she works they are all super outrageous.

I think a normal pair in general. No one told her she had to shop where she worked. And if she works in the industry then she knows that she's spending way more money than she has to.

twister22 · May 2013

Two pairs is reasonable, although the second pair is usually a 'back-up' pair, and is cheaper.

Does the CO specify anything? If so, go with that.

It makes sense that if she works at a glasses place that she'd buy SS glasses there, even if it's outrageous.

Ask for an itemized statement. Are you guys strapped financially? If no, then I would just pay half this time, and say what you expect cost-wise next time, and what 'extras' you are willing to pay for.

sabrina69barnes · May 2013

Glasses are a need. Designer glasses are a luxury and IMO stupid to buy for a 5yr old. DH isn't responsible for paying for luxuries that BM decides to buy even if it is for SS. Without insurance you should be able to find a pair of kids glasses for under $200. I think that DH should offer to pay BM that plus the cost of an average eye exam. Let her know that in the future that DH is only willing to pay for half of a reasonable pair of glass and specify what you think is reasonable. Let her know that if she wants to spend more than that it will be on her to pay for it if DH doesn't agree before hand.

Sunday924 · May 2013

twister22:
Two pairs is reasonable, although the second pair is usually a 'back-up' pair, and is cheaper.
Does the CO specify anything? If so, go with that.
It makes sense that if she works at a glasses place that she'd buy SS glasses there, even if it's outrageous.
Ask for an itemized statement. Are you guys strapped financially? If no, then I would just pay half this time, and say what you expect cost-wise next time, and what 'extras' you are willing to pay for.

The CO says nothing about vision or glasses and we are strapped financially.

I'm not being combative I just can't say this to BM and I need to get it out but to me it doesn't make sense that she would buy them there if they were outrageous. If you worked at a Mercedes dealership as the receptionist or parts guy making minimum wage would you buy a Mercedes or an affordable car some place else?

hindsight's_a_biotch · May 2013

Have you seen the invoice?

Sunday924 · May 2013

hindsight's_a_biotch:
Have you seen the invoice?

Not yet because she needed our address to mail it. She did tell DH how much over the phone tonight.

Littlejen22 · May 2013

If you and her can afford them I would be totally fine buying cute glasses which probably means more than Walmart prices. And without a doubt I would upgrade the type of lens for safety. And depending on how much he needs the glasses I could see the argument for transitions because he would not need sunglasses which really are important to protect eyes although this reminds me to make my kids wear sunglasses! So with all that said I used eyeglasses.com to figure the average kid glasses are around 109 plus upgrades for the glass and anti glare and uv protections and anti scratch plus transitions would be 231 for one pair. It is up to you to decide if you want to pay for half or half of what is a reasonable pair or not at all. I vote for either paying half and telling her it will not happen again as these are way more expensive than is necessary. Or pay half of one if you think two are not needed which I never would have thought of but most people here think it is so I would go with them. Or tell her reasonable would be 231 for each pair and pay based on that.

twister22 · May 2013

Sunday924:
twister22:
Two pairs is reasonable, although the second pair is usually a 'back-up' pair, and is cheaper.
Does the CO specify anything? If so, go with that.
It makes sense that if she works at a glasses place that she'd buy SS glasses there, even if it's outrageous.
Ask for an itemized statement. Are you guys strapped financially? If no, then I would just pay half this time, and say what you expect cost-wise next time, and what 'extras' you are willing to pay for.
The CO says nothing about vision or glasses and we are strapped financially.
I'm not being combative I just can't say this to BM and I need to get it out but to me it doesn't make sense that she would buy them there if they were outrageous. If you worked at a Mercedes dealership as the receptionist or parts guy making minimum wage would you buy a Mercedes or an affordable car some place else?

Okay, you got me there lol.

I know it's stupid, but people do it, is more what I meant. Like, my friend is a teacher, and she also works at J. Crew part time, and her paycheck from there is spent on clothes there.

In your situation, I would estimate the cost of reasonably priced glasses, and pay half of that. Or ask for an itemized statement, and say you'll pay half of the base cost of one pair of glasses, since BM could have got two pairs for that price.

If you guys are strapped, I wouldn't worry about pacifying BM right now.

Jupiter62 · May 2013

That's crazy. I go to zeni optical online and have never spent more than 30 on a pair of glasses. For what youre paying on those glasses, you could buy him new eyeballs.

hindsight's_a_biotch · May 2013

I will say that I've bought glasses from like four different places because each place has been hinky. So if I worked somewhere, I would trust their work, their replacement policy, their eye doctor, etc and probably get a discount. If you worked at a mercedes dealer and trusted that you could buy a good used car from them, why would you go pay full price from a Chevy dealer you don't know?

BM could just be a *** here but I would guess in her mind, this makes sense. I'm not sure I know very many people who will pay more than they need to for something just to make the ex pay the same amount, kwim?

Phantomgirl · May 2013

See she didn't just buy them and hit him with the bill. She told him prior to going AND was texting him during the process. Therefore he was involved in the purchase of the glasses. So yes he should pay half.

If I were you and the bill was high I would be pretty mad at DH.

When it comes to needs, like glasses for a child I wouldn't skimp on costs.

Also I can see, as the mother, if this is the child first pair that she wanted them to be cool or whatever.

She will learn the hard way and so will your DH.

Yes pay half the bill, afterall it's glasses for his kid. Next time wise up!

Nineoceans · May 2013

How much is it exactly? I think probably what we would do and have done in a similar situation unfortunately is put the gripe in an email that we can show was opened and received or send a certified letter stating we will pay this time but next time we will not unless we agree to something in writing. I.e. cosigning the contract at the ophthalmologist or in an email.

Also maybe time to revisit your CO. In the future you will have a lot more to work out, school uniforms, braces, cars, insurance for said cars. It's a nice piece of mind to have all expectations in writing as much as possible

If you really can't swing it I would pay what you can afford and tell her maybe she can return the frames and check out Walmart instead

CurlyQ284 · May 2013

I think when she brought up 2 pairs DH should have mentioned he thinks SS only needs 1. He didn't, he looked like he was OK with it so I think you should pay half. You can't protest after the fact, thats like screwing her over. Lesson learned, speak up next time.

JennerP60 · May 2013

MelRC117:
Jupiter62:
That's crazy. I go to zenni optical online and have never spent more than 30 on a pair of glasses. For what youre paying on those glasses, you could buy him new eyeballs.
30 does NOT but frames and lenses. I've gone to different places and they are NOT this cheap.

Lenses and frames. My last pair was $20 total plus a couple bucks for shipping and they're holding up nicely. I just had to know my prescription and have my husband measure the distance between my pupils.

new+tothis · May 2013

I would ask for an invoice.

You guys think that the cost is inappropriate. If I were in your shoes I would get the invoice then call around and get some quotes for glasses with his general script. See if there's a noticeable difference. If there is, then I'd tell her that you're uncomfortable with her choice to buy expensive options without consulting you and you're willing to pay half the cost of standard glasses.

I wear glasses. I need no line bifocals. I get upgraded lenses and good frames because I can reuse them if I need a new script. They're great. I didn't pay thousands of dollars. I think it was a little over $500 out of pocket with no insurance at a relatively expensive place.

hindsight's_a_biotch · May 2013

JennerP60:

Lenses and frames. My last pair was $20 total plus a couple bucks for shipping and they're holding up nicely. I just had to know my prescription and have my husband measure the distance between my pupils.

not everyone is comfortable ordering glasses via the internet and quite frankly, I don't know what they should be.

michelleonthecoast · May 2013

Sunday924:
SS (5) needs glasses. BM told DH the day she was taking him to the doctor the day of. She told him he needed glasses and she wanted him to have 2 pair. When she sent a picture of two pair DH said he liked one of the pair. This was all through txt. He came our house with glasses last Friday. FF to today she txt asking for our address (we haven't moved in 3 years) so she can send the invoice.
BM works at a designer glasses place. She bought SS 2 very expensive glasses with all the specs such as transition lenses etc.Now she wants DH to pay for half. DH doesn't think a 5 yo needs 2 pair of glasses and especially not 2 pair that are thousands of dollars (she does get a discount). So should DH have to pay her half if she didn't run cost or anything by him before?

Did I read this right? She spent "thousands of dollars"? On glasses for a 5 yr old? What was the exact total after her discount? No way would I pay half of that. Regular glasses are a "need", but designer glasses are a "want". I would probably offer a reasonable amount of money towards the glasses but not half. If she didn't like it, she would have to pay a lawyer to take me to court.

I have 3 kids in glasses, plus myself. I've never paid more than $170 for a pair. I've also used zennioptical online plenty of times and paid $20-$50 a pair.

Littlejen22 · May 2013

hindsight's_a_biotch:
JennerP60:
 
Lenses and frames. My last pair was $20 total plus a couple bucks for shipping and they're holding up nicely. I just had to know my prescription and have my husband measure the distance between my pupils. 
not everyone is comfortable ordering glasses via the internet and quite frankly, I don't know what they should be. 

Hind, just give Pinky or Pete a measuring tape, how hard can it be! Lol

hindsight's_a_biotch · May 2013

Littlejen22:
hindsight's_a_biotch:
JennerP60:

Lenses and frames. My last pair was $20 total plus a couple bucks for shipping and they're holding up nicely. I just had to know my prescription and have my husband measure the distance between my pupils.
not everyone is comfortable ordering glasses via the internet and quite frankly, I don't know what they should be.
Hind, just give Pinky or Pete a measuring tape, how hard can it be! Lol

This is not a question you want to ask on a Sunday. Nope, nope, nope.

Want a personalized experience?

Does he pay?

Re: Does he pay?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards