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Annoyed with this whole mess

proudworkingmom82proudworkingmom82 member
in Blended Families

I guess this is just a rant really.  I posted about a month ago that my mom and dad were divorcing my stepmom and stepdad and getting back together.  Well my mom and dad have been apart for like 22 years and for 20 of those years my step parents were in my life.  Well because of that naturally DD grew very very close to my stepparents and now there not in her life.  She is so confused and I feel so helpless.  I wanted to let her see my stepdad because he is still sane but I can't because my parents are afraid she will rat them out.  She's 4.5 and 4.5 year olds as most of you know tell everything they see.  And then there's my stepmom who is completely off her rocker.  She actually harrassed me at work in front of my coworkers and customers about why can't she see DD.   I just hope there divorces hurry the hell up because then maybe I can at least let DD see my stepdad.  Right now my parents can't even go out in public together or anything because if someone sees them it's incriminating evidence I guess you would say.  My stepmom is trying to take all my Dads money and she calls and cusses him out on a daily basis.  I am so angry at her on top of all that.  In November while my Dad was having a stroke in the bathroom she simply went back to bed.  He has to live the rest of his life (possibly a shortened life due to stroke risk) with a 100 percent blocked corrodid artery in the left side of his brain because she saw him having a stroke, saw him dazed and confused and showing all the signs and simply went back to bed.  She didn't even take him to the ER until like 24 hours later.  I know that she couldn't have stopped the stroke but the quicker you get the person help the better because TPA can be injected to stop the arterys from clogging all the way.  My Dad stood by her through cancer and a cholastemy bag yet she does all this to him.  She's a crazy b!tch.  I'm angry with her, annoyed with the fact that DD doesn't get to see the people she loves and adores and I'm tired of lying to DD and other people to cover my parents affair.  Anyway I'm sorry if this is all a bunch of rambling I'm just stressed and annoyed.  I seriously just don't even know how to handle all of DD's questions.  4 year olds are full of questions anyway but all these questions with no answers that I shouldn't be the one stuck answering are getting old. 

Edited to Add: Thanks everyone for letting me rant.  I do agree with  what you all said about me not having to cover for my parents to my daughter or anyone else.  The only thing is that DD and I are temporarily living with my mother (just until FI and I get married next April).  We moved in with my mom last January  when she was still with my stepdad before any of the affair or divorces started.  So mom and dad pretty much have no choice but to see each other in DD's presence since we do live in mom's house.  

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Re: Annoyed with this whole mess

  • Littlejen22Littlejen22 member
    Your parents are adults and so are you. You have to decide what is best for your child and not what is best for your parents. Their actions have consequences and if they are rates out that is their own fault. If you want your DD to have a relationship with your SF who is her grandfather find out if he still wants that and if yes tell them if is happening and that the sivorce is not going to affect your DD any more than necessary and that they need to act like adults and deal with the consequences of their decisions and not punish a 4yo for their choices.
    Jen - Mom to two December 12 babies Nathaniel 12/12/06 and Addison 12/12/08
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  • WahooWahoo member

    imageLittlejen22:
    Your parents are adults and so are you. You have to decide what is best for your child and not what is best for your parents. Their actions have consequences and if they are rates out that is their own fault. If you want your DD to have a relationship with your SF who is her grandfather find out if he still wants that and if yes tell them if is happening and that the sivorce is not going to affect your DD any more than necessary and that they need to act like adults and deal with the consequences of their decisions and not punish a 4yo for their choices.

    THIS!!! 

    You are responsible for your daughter, not your parents.  HOW DARE your parents tell you what to do with your child, specifically because they want to cover up their affair! 

    Why can't your parents see your DD separately, so she doesn't know they are "together?"  Is it because they are so in LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE that they can't be apart?

    I would also not lie to people.  Your own integrity should not be at stake to cover for their lies and adultery.  Just tell everyone that your parents business is their own and if they have any questions to call your mom and dad.

    I have to say, though, that your stepmom sounds unhinged.  I would not allow your DD to see her unsupervised. 

    image "Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, first make sure you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes.
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  • +just+j++just+j+ member

    If that were me I'd tell them all that they can't see their grandchild or me until their little mess is over with.

    It's really kind of crappy of your parents to be putting you in the middle. They probably think that just because they were married before, and your dad's wife is a little whacko, that they have good reason and are exempt from what's proper. But they don't.  This is so unfair to involve others.  If they wanted to keep things secret, then they should have kept it all between the two of them. 

    I'm sorry, I don't have better advice than that, but that is what I would do. I'd completely remove myself and my child from this. 

    "he offered her the world. she said she had her own" - poet Monique Duval
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