Nicu stay help plz

Pinksparkle28 · May 2013

Hi ladies, I hope you guys can help. I don't have a preemie but I had Lo at 38 weeks and he had meconium for 2 weeks inside and he aspirated. Our nicu stay is 8 days and counting. I have no idea how to get through this. I can't help him get better, all I can do is be there. How did you ladies manage your nicu stay? Did u go all the time to visit? Multiple times a day? Camp out all day? We been there every 3 hrs to do cares and honestly I'm so tired and emotionally spent, I didn't go last night and I feel terrible. Tia for your insight in this.
P.s mobile bumping sorry.

hugmonkey · May 2013

My LO was in the nicu for 14 days. I did go every day (except one day when they wouldn't let me in because I had a sore throat). But, I only stayed for about 4-5 hours. I would time it to be able to do her cares when I first showed up, and then right before I left. As I couldn't drive due to my c-section, I was only able to get there when people could give me a ride/pick me up. I felt rather awkward the whole time I was there and didn't really feel as though my presence added much to her care. My dd didn't seem to notice if it was me or one of the nurses who was taking care of her. And, she pretty much slept the whole time anyway.

Don't feel bad if you missed one of your visits. You need to take care of yourself as well. Sometimes I felt guilty as there were some parents who seemed to be in the NICU 24x7, but even if I had been able to drive there, I wouldn't have been able to handle being there more. It was just way too stressful.

Good luck, and I hope you are able to bring your LO home soon!

kuetgal · May 2013

When LO was in, I went home the first night and slept and then went ASAP in the morning and camped out until they kicked me out at closing. I was overly tired and in retrospect it was a bad idea. The hospital was an hour away and I was far from healed. DH continued to work and go to school in between visits so he could use the time when DD came home. My bp was still off and I was beat, but in my head I was really concerned about nursing her and just being with her. I totally beat myself up and in retrospect -- I would have rested more and gotten "ready for her". I think if she wasn't so far away I would have felt different. Take break if you need you, rest, that way you can be there for him when he comes home.

eMiLee920 · May 2013

I'm sorry your LO is in the NICU. We never stayed for much longer than 2 hours and the hospital was only 30-40 min away. I just couldn't sit by his side feeling helpless all day and DH had to go back to work so he could stay home for a week when DS finally came home. As soon as DH came home from work we ate a very quick meal and headed straight for the hospital for an hour or two, then came home and fell into bed. It killed us to leave him every night, but it was what worked for us. I spent my time at home trying to pump and resting. It seems like not a lot, but honestly, I was struggling so hard with pumping that my life was a cycle of pump, eat, sleep, interrupted only by visits to see DS.

I do understand the guilt because I'd hear other moms staying by their LO's bed all day and feel guilty that I wasn't there 24/7 for my son, but I know it would have been bad for me mentally if I did. As much as I loved my son and being with him and as much as I hated leaving him so alone, being in the NICU was incredibly difficult and stressful. Please don't feel bad for taking time for yourself. You need to be healthy to take care of him when he gets to come home. And he will come home when he's ready.

Pinksparkle28 · May 2013

Thank you ladies for all your insight. This road is so hard but your advise is right. I need to Take time to heal and take care of myself, so I can be ready when he gets home.

msyoon · May 2013

My NICU stay wasn't horrible but wasn't comfortable. It was easier when I was still in the hospital recovering from my C-section because I just could upstairs and see the baby. But when I got discharged, it was nice going home to shower in my own bathroom and sleeping in my own bed. I would go to the hospital multiple times a day or just stay during the day. My LO had feedings every 3 hours so I made a schedule base on that schedule. It's definitely tiring but worth it since you get quiet time with your LO. I was lucky where my LO had a private room in the NICU.

eegeekwife · May 2013

First of all I am so sorry your LO has to be in the NICU it can be so scary and a very emotional ride. My LO was in the NICU for 6 days she was born at 34wks and I had GD and HBP. After I was released from the hospital we were able to stay at the RMH (Ronald McDonald House) and we only slept at the house. We got up at 7am and go to the Children's Hospital at around 9am ate lunch in the cafe and left for dinner and came back after dinner to stay with her until about 11pm so we were pretty much there all day. I had to though, I hated leaving her too but I needed to sleep in a bed, the pull out chairs were not enough. I wish the best for you.

flerlgirl · May 2013

For me, I like to go and stay for several hours at a time because I live kinda far from the hospital. But our nurses originally recommended just a few hours at a time. It's exhausting just being there and it's totally okay to take a night off. Rest up and give yourself time to heal. You're doing great!!

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