Thoughts on circumcision

zenjenjen · May 2013

I had always held the belief that if / when I had a baby boy I would make the circumcision decision based on daddy. Well, now that I am pregnant with a boy and daddy is uncircumcised, our decision is for father and son to match. I told my sister our decision and she was appalled. This strikes me as odd. We are not Jewish, so there is no religious reason to circumcise. I have dated primarily foreign men in the past and don't understand the stigma surrounding this.

Is it really that big of a deal? Opinions please.

danieleandwayne · May 2013

MH is circumcised and we both made the decision NOT to circumcise if we have a boy. My brother (also circumcised) and his wife did NOT circumcise their son. My sister and mom thought it was odd-- our mom thought it was not a good idea, to say the least (the word "horrible" may have been used at one point. My sister circumcised their son so he'd match his dad.

Personally, I think the decision to match makes no sense. My mom has small boobs, so should I have gotten a breast reduction to match her? I don't get it. Also personally, I've enjoyed my partners who were NOT circumcised a helluva lot more/more easily than those who were. Mother Nature didn't mess up when she designed the penis to feel better to women when it is uncircumcised.

Professionally, my opinion is there is no medical need for circumcision. If I can't teach my boy to clean his penis properly, I shouldn't be a mother.

Religiously, that's a different story. For religious purposes, go for it. That being said, if my religion said girls had to be circumcised, I'd change religions. But that's a bit more of an extreme process than it is for boys.

And that's my 2 cents.

Abeille · May 2013

Yeah, this can be a hot button topic for some. It pops up on the other boards from time to time. I don't think it's really my business what other parents' personal decision is regarding their son's penis.

I haven't even thought of discussing this with my family so I have no idea how they'd react...not that I care. My husband is European and we aren't going circumcise either.

athleticmommy · May 2013

This decision I think is completely up to the immediate family so I say who cares what other people think. But maybe the reason why your sister is "appalled" at your decision to not circumcise your son is the fact those men who are NOT circumcised run a greater risk of contracting an STD later in life than those who are because the ones who are not circumcised have more mucous membranes exposed making it easier for an STD infection to make its way into the body causing harm. Other than the Jewish factor this is the only other reason why I would think people would get upset about it even though there are ways of protecting oneself.

zenjenjen · May 2013

Thank you all for your input. I agree that it is a decision to be made between the mother and father of the child. My sister's reaction was based more on her idea of societal norms and why would I want to make my boy different from other boys. She was concerned about him being made fun of and I believe even used the term "turtleneck". I pointed out to her that in Europe circumcision is not the norm, to which her response was "well, we don't live in Europe".

I'm glad to hear that there are others choosing to not circumcise. I agree with the opinion that the penis was created just as it should be.

Carnation77 · May 2013

I think societal norms are really changing in this area, though. Maybe your sister doesn't realize that? More and more people are choosing not to circumcise so in all likelihood there will be other uncircumcised boys in his schools/on his sports teams.

2ndGeneration · May 2013

My husband and three sons, ages 20, 16 and 15 are all uncircumcised. We are in the USA (for reference). None of them have ever had locker room issues. Or any other issues.

We always said that they boys could choose to be circumcised-they all say NEVER and they are happy with being intact. We are glad we did not do it.

MAtoNC · May 2013

zenjenjen:
My sister's reaction was based more on her idea of societal norms and why would I want to make my boy different from other boys. She was concerned about him being made fun of and I believe even used the term "turtleneck". I pointed out to her that in Europe circumcision is not the norm, to which her response was "well, we don't live in Europe".

Back when your sister's sexual partners were born, it was probably overwhelming norm to circumcise. However, this just isn't the case anymore, and so your sister is wrong in assuming that your son will be so different from other boys.

Back when I was born (the 70's), over 90% of boys were circumcised, now the rate is closer to 50 or 60% (although it also depends on what region of the country you are in and whether you are rural or urban). For example, out west, they circumcise less. And in urban areas, they circumcise less.

We are Jewish, so we knew what we were going to do, but I have plenty of friends who have chosen not to circumcise their boys.

kje120 · May 2013

It's a personal decision and I really don't think anyone else should weigh in on what you do with your son's penis.

AliSarah · May 2013

My DH is circ'd and we decided against it for our son. All the drs have been very supportive of the choice not to, and no one in the family has said anything negative about it either. If we were of a religion that required it, we would have done it. But, I see no reason to cut parts off of a perfectly healthy child. No one could have convinced me to cut anything off of my daughter, and it doesn't make any sense to me that it would be any different for my son.

Bigboneded · May 2013

I work in the medical field and it seems that if you can manage cleanliness and teach your son to clean properly, you have no concerns about not circumsizing. But that said, I had a friend who got an infection as an adult and had to have a circumcision at that point and said it was the most horribly painful experience of his life! I don't think YOUR decision should be based on family reaction. I have also had a couple of elderly men come in to the ER and have a condition where the foreskin won't retract and urology has to come clean thing out or snip to open it up.... Obviously not a problem their whole life, but get some schmegma build up and voila! We haven't talked about what to do if LO is a boy, I'm sure dad will want to circumcise so he can match.... We'll cross that bridge a little closer :: smiles:: good luck!

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